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/> Dad is doing his thing in the kitchen and sounds as if he has used every pot and bowl we own.

What do you wear to meet the father of your boyfriend when you haven’t seen him in forever?

........................................

Dinner was great. Dad pulled off another of his fabulous banquets. Lexie and his father arrived on time and as soon as I saw them together another flood of memories washed into my head. It was as if the four of us had always had family dinners.

Lexie’s father, Peter, talked at length about all the places they had been and his research into group and pack behaviour. I wondered if Peter was also a werewolf. Lexie had said it did not manifest in every member of the family and it could just as easily have been his mother’s line.

There was some mention about the timing of their return. I missed the significance but Dad nodded before glancing at both me and Lexie. I frowned but nobody explained.

Discussion turned inevitably to when my mother was alive and the mixed family dinners. From what was said without going into detail, I gather nobody had considered it a possibility until Alex had his first change earlier than most other shape-shifters and I had imprinted on the young Lexie when he changed into Pet.

I have a vague idea about what imprinting is so I will have to look up more details. I suppose it could be a term they use among themselves but no harm in a bit of research. I get the strong impression that asking Dad would be akin to the sex talk he put off until after we had encountered it in health class.

The dinner went late with so much catching up and I am exhausted. My head hurts with the memories coming back and all the new stuff to take in. I can’t write any more. Its gym tomorrow and I need my mind and body to work together.


Day 18
Dear Diary,
The highlight today was our gym time. For a change, Alex was there before us, already warmed up and about to start his routines. He is in awesome shape. I nearly drooled. Well, not really, but I could not keep my eyes from straying to his end of the practice hall.

My best’ies have picked up on the attraction between me and Lexie and tease me about it all the time now. Although today I think they were a little envious when they saw how fit he is.

When he had finished his work out, he came and stood by the trampoline. I had been having trouble with one particular element and kept shying off at the last minute. He suggested I needed more height and someone to intervene if I committed to the move without being able to complete it safely. Actually, it was more like “Here, Let me help before you kill yourself.” He has become more assertive, or is it only with me?

He vaulted onto the mat so we could double. With him at one end I could use the sweet spot without being thrown to the far side of the equipment. It worked a treat and he didn’t need to catch me mid air. Now I have done it once, it will be a lot easier to repeat on my own. I just needed a boost of confidence.

We doubled for a bit longer and took it in turns to perform various tricks testing each other’s expertise. It was fun and an exhausting workout. I needed a long hot shower to ease out my muscles so by the time I was dressed again he had long gone.

In a mixture of jealousy and playful teasing, the girls chanted childish rhymes on the way to the canteen for a quick sandwich. There was no recourse but to grin and bear it. I was thankful I don’t blush or I would have been beetroot red but nothing could stop me weakening in the knees every time I thought about our joint workout.

I hope I dream about him tonight.


Day 19
Dear Diary,
Nothing much to report today. Not about Lexie, anyway. He wasn’t on campus. I didn’t see him and I didn’t get that tingling awareness which happens when he is around.

My best’ies teased me some more but I refused to mope. We went to the mall in the evening, did some girlie stuff - window shopped and tried on new clothes, checked out the food hall where the boys hang out even though there is no way Alex would ever be there, caught up on who was pairing up.

When I did get home Dad ventured out of his office long enough to tell me the Petersons’s were moving back next door. They had never quite left the place after they had put their personal things into storage. Old Mr Jameson was part of the clan and had played caretaker in their absence.

Lexie was going to be close again! A tremor of excitement lodged in my stomach. I answered my father calmly and did not give away my happiness before I rushed upstairs and threw myself onto my bed. After a few moments indulging the thrill of the news, I peeped out of the window to see if there was any change next door.

I couldn’t see much. My window overlooks the front yard and their house is set back from the street. There was an indentation in the grass where a container might have rested and I caught a glimpse of the back end of a car in the garage through the doors standing ajar. Apart from that, there was nothing different. I wonder if old Mr Jameson will stay with them.

....................................

I can’t sleep so I write this while it is still fresh. Lexie has just gone and I have a lot to process.

I was standing at my window before retiring to bed. The moon is nearly full and the light filled my room. The Lexie proximity alert tingled at the back of my brain. I scanned the yard and spied him jumping over the hedge fence.

He was about to collect a handful of loose gravel when he noticed me. He signalled so I opened the window. He scrambled up the wall and soon stood in my room.

Lexie was agitated. He paced the small corridor of clear space around my bed as he struggled to find the right words. He would look at me and open his mouth, then turn away and walk some more. As he strode back and forth in the small amount of space, his presence expanded to fill the room.

I did not speak. There was no point. I’ve seen Dad do the same and anything I said only prolonged the agony. I had to wait.

Alex soon reached an explosion point even though the words had not fallen into place. He grabbed my upper arms, pinning them to my side, and held me away from him. He blurted out something like “Do you want me?”

I was stunned. I had tried to answer that question myself. It was strange to hear it in his voice. I just looked at him, my eyes wide in surprise.

In an effort to explain, he delivered a string of phrases, the failed opening lines he had discarded previously. In summary he emphasised his need to know – tonight – if a dedicated relationship was possible. If not, we could never come back to this point no matter how strong our friendship became. If yes, well, he never went into what an affirmative meant.

I should have asked because I was totally unprepared but at that moment I could not bare the possibility of a future without him. So I told him how I had not been able to think about anything else since my memories returned, how he dominated my every hour asleep or awake, and how completely besotted I was. I admitted things I don’t tell people as the intensity usually drives them away.

The confession did not repulse him, quite the opposite.

Forgetting his strength, he kissed me then he pushed me down onto the bed. His immense power controlled our descent so we did not bounce nor did his body crush mine. He lay on top of me and continued to kiss – my lips, my face, my neck. His fingertips stroked my bare skin until it quivered, lovingly arousing me, coaxing my body to match his. His eyes blazed golden brown, animal-like and animated.

My temperature burned, my pulse drummed in my ears, I gulped air into my lungs unable to hold it long before it escaped my lips as sighs.

His strength dominated me. He was more than assertive, more aggressive, ferocious. The hint of danger added to the anticipation. He was demanding but never damaging. He was masterful and I was happy to surrender. His fingers interlaced with mine and he nuzzled my neck, his teeth touched my skin but never left a mark.

I have had sex before, not often but enough to know about it. This was something more than I had ever experienced, more than imagined possible. I was overwhelmed, transported to an abyss filled with bright lights and flaming stars. I was in ecstasy.

We lay side by side, panting. Given his secret, the imagery made me giggle and I had to explain myself under the threat of being tickled.

All too soon he stood up. He had to go and said tomorrow is the full moon so I will not see him.

The news saddened me but there was no arguing. Every high has its low and this was mine to bear, an immutable fact.

He kissed me softly on the cheek, his eyes held the sorrow I felt. Then he was gone.

Now I can’t sleep. If I relive the memory of what transpired I only get all hot and bothered. But I can’t quiet my thoughts. My mind goes over and over every moment I have ever had with him, visions flash before my eyes.

I am exhausted, but I can’t sleep.


Day 20
Dear Diary,
Saturday! Thankfully.

Somewhere in the early hours I fell asleep or just passed out. But at least I was able to take my time getting up. My head is stuffy and my thinking sluggish. I will vent all my frustration on the housework.

Thoughts circle in my head like a pack of sharks, always swimming, never coming into focus, nipping at my mind. I wonder what Lexie is doing. Does he have a routine for this forced change he talks about? Is it different to when he initiates the transformation? Does he think and remember the same as other days? Would he recognise me? Hurt me? Is that what worries him? Does he even know for sure? And when does it start? This morning? At dark? Or the magical witching hour - midnight?

.......................

Today was not a good day. With nothing else planned I threw myself into the regular weekly cleanup only to have one of the many questions come back and bite me at unexpected times.

I had a nap in the afternoon. I was more tired than I realised. But I did look up that word they have been bandying around – imprinting. I found two slightly different references which seem to apply -


‘A rapid learning process by which a newborn or very young animal
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