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ex husband, Lionel. The conversation was like pulling teeth in a intense game of tug of war. There was no doubt that there was going to be some disagreements. But now I was having second thoughts about the whole thing. Then after he hung up first five minutes later he calls me back apologizing. HE apologized. That has never happened. So I took that as a small yet hopeful chance that there's still something.

Not only this weird meetings with Lionel has been happening but I keep seeing my father which is not possible because he passed away twenty years ago. Sure I remember him even though he had been in and out of my life. Him and my mom had never made it due to his drinking and lack of affection but he tried for me. I could tell even if my mom stopped trying to see. During his "off" days, when I didn't see him I have heard that he was cleaning himself up and trying to get back on his feet. During his "on" days when I did see him, he appeared like he was more sober with some dignity back in him.

And then his liver had failed him...that was that. I didn't get to say good-bye but there's no doubt that he knew I loved him regardless of his past. I just wished to see him that one last chance. Twenty years later and I'm finding myself being convinced that I'm going senial. He's not the only one that I believe I'm seeing. I see shadows that is not my own that are half way following me or people that seem to be not like the rest of "us". And there's the voices...

Comforting yet a little terrifying at times. But none of the less-weird. One of the voices has told me that everything is going to be alright after Lionel had hung up on me. I just hope my co-workers won't find me blending in the seniors whom some are a bit on their off days. I went out my apartment and headed for the bus stop. While I was waiting for my bus, I pulled out my cell phone and decided to text Lionel "Good morning" and "I hope your day goes well". It didn't take long for the 72 to come but I wasn't surprised. Alot of the travelers who rode along has stopped coming on due to the news of it being the end for all of us.

I knew I wouldn't see the young lady who was semi disformed because the library closed down and the gentleman who attended the University since they also closed down. There was no word at the senior center closing so I guess we will wait it out...many of the seniors doesn't have families and if I can remember only three people that were family members had come see them. So we just have to make what's due for them. One of the regular travelers didn't see any chance to be absent on the 72. Holy Julie, who usually tells us how to live our lives, was even quiet. She just said one scripture out loud from her bible and sat there staring out the window for the remainder of my ride.

Something was different about her that I couldn't put my finger on...it was unusal that she was quiet but how she was sitting there stiff as if she was hexed. She turned her gaze towards me a little bit and it was impossible to do but I swear I could see my reflection in her glass eyes ten feet away. How did that happened? Please, no weirdness...

I thought to myself. She then had turned away from my face and back to looking out the window, humming a tune... (@)


(If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him
In all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that
you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets

Trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome


-*Joan Osborne "What If God Was One Of Us?"

)

My stop had finally come and I was glad to get off. I tried to pull myself together before I entered the senior home and a voice had whispered in my ear, "Don't freak out..." Huh??? The point of telling me that while there was no one around me physically, WOULD BE to freak me out. I think I might have to take some asprin or something before I get on the clock.

The sliding door to the facility opened and as I stepped in the half deserted lobby a scream came from the east wing hall. I ran to see what the commotion was and I seen Bonnie Davis, one of the nurse assistants, pinned to the wall looking terrified and a tray of one of the patient's breakfast spilled on the floor in front of her. I merged in with the other nurses that surrounded her to see what was the matter and she was blabbering gibberish.

"Calm down Bonnie...Calm down. What just happened?" One of the nurses asked her while trying to settle her down with her hands gripping Bonnie's arms.

"M-M-M-r. M-M-" was all that Bonnie could stutter out.

I looked around the place to see if anything could solve this mystery and I noticed one of the patient's room was ajar. It was the resisdence of Mr. Jenkins, the silent grump of the facility. He couldn't talk because he had a stroke but his face tells you his mood otherwise. Bonnie was somewhat sqiumish about certain things and I never understood fully why she became a nursing assistant but she manages nonetheless.

"Mr. Jenkins, Bonnie...?" I asked to be sure that's what she was trying to say.

She nodded her head frantically and pointed to the room. We all except Bonnie rushed in the room to find Mr. Jenkins clinging to the rail of his bed looking wide eyed wild and pailer than what his complexion normally was. He was breathing irratically and when one of us went over to touch him he would stiffen up and and give out a loud whizzing sound.

"Get the doctors in here, stat!" I heard the head nurse call.

Everytime one of us stepped even a inch close to him, there goes that horrifying sound out of him. "Mr. Jenkins. We're not here to harm you. If you can respond blink once for yes." Mr. Jenkins had a wild, wided eyed, far off look in his eyes that made it seem like his eye lids were paralyzed to blink. And just when I thought today couldn't get anymore stranger and horror-like...I only moved a bit over because one the nurses wanted to try stepping forward again towards him and as I moved, his eyes shifted rapidly to me and I was now in the eye view target to his stare. His look and the sudden voice I heard threw me off for the rest of the day as I thought I heard him say... (@)


(You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Well my goodness gracious let me tell you the news
My head's been wet with the midnight dew
I've been down on bended knee talkin' to the man from Galilee
He spoke to me in the voice so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John go do My will!"

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down


-*Johnny Cash "God's Gonna Cut You Down"

)


Three doctors rushed in with demands. But it was no use. About five minutes later the meter gave out a long beep and we had lost Mr. Jenkins. After that incident there was like a domino effect or some kind of calling of death because three more people had followed the road to wherever Mr. Jenkins went on...


I didn't think I would make it through the day. I fainted twice from the death stares I had gotten from the ones that had passed and was hearing more than one voice at a time than ever. I was given a chance to go home early but there was nothing for me back there during this time. I was already alone at night so during the day would've been tv with the count down timer counting from five days left.

Lionel had called me during my lunch break and that was a relief to me to hear his voice. "You ok, Sarah?" I couldn't finish my chicken salad and lemonade and I swallowed some asprin instead. "I'll be ok..." I told him. "Just today was beyond weird. I'm starting to think it all might mean something." Lionel sighed lightly on the phone. "Well...if you like for me to...I can come by tonight and keep you company. I can bring some takeout from your chinese place and rent your favorite movie."

For the first time in a month a small smile of reassurance crept up on my face. "I would like that. But I don't know if we're ready for that yet." Lionel chuckled at my reply. "Sarah, I'm not going to try

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