He Knew He Was Right by Anthony Trollope (books you need to read .txt) ๐
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NORA.
Of course, you knew that I loved you, and I donโt think that you are a
conjuror at all.โ
As soon as ever the letter was written, she put on her bonnet, and went
forth with it herself to the post-office. Mrs Trevelyan stopped her on
the stairs, and endeavoured to detain her, but Nora would not be
detained. โI must judge for myself about this,โ she said. โIf mamma
were here, it would be different, but, as she is not here, I must judge
for myself.โ
What Mrs Outhouse might have done had she been at home at the time, it
would be useless to surmise. She was told what had happened when it
occurred, and questioned Nora on the subject. โI thought I understood
from you,โ she said, with something of severity in her countenance,
โthat there was to be nothing between you and Mr Stanbury at any rate,
till my brother came home?โ
โI never pledged myself to anything of the kind, Aunt Mary,โ Nora said.
โI think he promised that he would not come here, and I donโt suppose
that he means to come. If he should do so, I shall not see him.โ
With this Mrs Outhouse was obliged to be content. The letter was gone,
and could not be stopped. Nor, indeed, had any authority been delegated
to her by which she would have been justified in stopping it. She could
only join her husband in wishing that they both might be relieved, as
soon as possible, from the terrible burden which had been thrown upon
them. โI call it very hard,โ said Mr Outhouse โvery hard, indeed. If we
were to desire them to leave the house, everybody would cry out upon us
for our cruelty; and yet, while they remain here, they will submit
themselves to no authority. As far as I can see, they may, both of
them, do just what they please, and we canโt stop it.โ
MR GIBSONโS THREAT
Miss Stanbury for a long time persisted in being neither better nor
worse. Sir Peter would not declare her state to be precarious, nor
would he say that she was out of danger; and Mr Martin had been so
utterly prostrated by the nearly-fatal effects of his own mistake that
he was quite unable to rally himself and talk on the subject with any
spirit or confidence. When interrogated he would simply reply that Sir
Peter said this and Sir Peter said that, and thus add to, rather than
diminish, the doubt, and excitement, and varied opinion which prevailed
through the city. On one morning it was absolutely asserted within the
limits of the Close that Miss Stanbury was dying, and it was believed
for half a day at the bank that she was then lying in articulo mortis.
There had got about, too, a report that a portion of the property had
only been left to Miss Stanbury for her life, that the Burgesses would
be able to reclaim the houses in the city, and that a will had been
made altogether in favour of Dorothy, cutting out even Brooke from any
share in the inheritance; and thus Exeter had a good deal to say
respecting the affairs and state of health of our old friend. Miss
Stanburyโs illness, however, was true enough. She was much too ill to
hear anything of what was going on, too ill to allow Martha to talk to
her at all about the outside public. When the invalid herself would ask
questions about the affairs of the world, Martha would be very discreet
and turn away from the subject. Miss Stanbury, for instance, ill as she
was, exhibited a most mundane interest, not exactly in Camilla Frenchโs
marriage, but in the delay which that marriage seemed destined to
encounter. โI dare say heโll slip out of it yet,โ said the sick lady to
her confidential servant. Then Martha had thought it right to change
the subject, feeling it to be wrong that an old lady on her death-bed
should be taking joy in the disappointment of her young neighbour.
Martha changed the subject, first to jelly, and then to the psalms of
the day. Miss Stanbury was too weak to resist; but the last verse of
the last psalm of the evening had hardly been finished before she
remarked that she would never believe it till she saw it. โItโs all in
the hands of Him as is on high, mum,โ said Martha, turning her eyes up
to the ceiling, and closing the book at the same time, with a look
strongly indicative of displeasure.
Miss Stanbury understood it all as well as though she were in perfect
health. She knew her own failings, was conscious of her worldly
tendencies, and perceived that her old servant was thinking of it. And
then sundry odd thoughts, half-digested thoughts, ideas too difficult
for her present strength, crossed her brain. Had it been wicked of her
when she was well to hope that a scheming woman should not succeed in
betraying a man by her schemes into an ill-assorted marriage; and if
not wicked then, was it wicked now because she was ill? And from that
thought her mind travelled on to the ordinary practices of death-bed
piety. Could an assumed devotion be of use to her now, such a devotion
as Martha was enjoining upon her from hour to hour, in pure and
affectionate solicitude for her soul? She had spoken one evening of a
game of cards, saying that a game of cribbage would have consoled her.
Then Martha, with a shudder, had suggested a hymn, and had had recourse
at once to a sleeping draught. Miss Stanbury had submitted, but had
understood it all. If cards were wicked, she had indeed been a terrible
sinner. What hope could there be now, on her death-bed, for one so
sinful? And she could not repent of her cards, and would not try to
repent of them, not seeing the evil of them; and if they were innocent,
why should she not have the consolation now when she so much wanted it?
Yet she knew that the whole household, even Dorothy, would be in arms
against her, were she to suggest such a thing. She took the hymn and
the sleeping draught, telling herself that it would be best for her to
banish such ideas from her mind. Pastors and masters had laid down for
her a mode of living, which she had followed, but indifferently
perhaps, but still with an intention of obedience. They had also laid
down a mode of dying, and it would be well that she should follow that
as closely as possible. She would say nothing more about cards. She
would think nothing more of Camilla French. But, as she so resolved,
with intellect half asleep, with her mind wandering between fact and
dream, she was unconsciously comfortable with an assurance that if Mr
Gibson did marry Camilla French, Camilla French would lead him the very
devil of a life.
During three days Dorothy went about the house as quiet as a mouse,
sitting nightly at her auntโs bedside, and tending the sick woman with
the closest care. She, too, had been now and again somewhat startled by
the seeming worldliness of her aunt in her illness. Her aunt talked to
her about rents, and gave her messages for Brooke Burgess on subjects
which seemed to Dorothy to be profane when spoken of on what might
perhaps be a death-bed. And this struck her the more strongly, because
she had a matter of her own on which she would have much wished to
ascertain her auntโs opinion, if she had not thought that it would have
been exceedingly wrong of her to trouble her auntโs mind at such a time
by any such matter. Hitherto she had said not a word of Brookeโs
proposal to any living being. At present it was a secret with herself,
but a secret so big that it almost caused her bosom to burst with the
load that it bore. She could not, she thought, write to Priscilla till
she had told her aunt. If she were to write a word on the subject to
any one, she could not fail to make manifest the extreme longing of her
own heart. She could not have written Brookeโs name on paper, in
reference to his words to herself without covering it with epithets of
love. But all that must be known to no one if her love was to be of no
avail to her. And she had an idea that her aunt would not wish Brooke
to marry her, would think that Brooke should do better; and she was
quite clear that in such a matter as this her auntโs wishes must be
law. Had not her aunt the power of disinheriting Brooke altogether? And
what then if her aunt should die, should die now, leaving Brooke at
liberty to do as he pleased? There was something so distasteful to her
in this view of the matter that she would not look at it. She would not
allow herself to think of any success which might possibly accrue to
herself by reason of her auntโs death. Intense as was the longing in
her heart for permission from those in authority over her to give
herself to Brooke Burgess, perfect as was the earthly Paradise which
appeared to be open to her when she thought of the good thing which had
befallen her in that matter, she conceived that she would be guilty of
the grossest ingratitude were she in any degree to curtail even her own
estimate of her auntโs prohibitory powers because of her auntโs
illness. The remembrance of the words which Brooke had spoken to her
was with her quite perfect. She was entirely conscious of the joy which
would he hers, if she might accept those words as properly sanctioned;
but she was a creature in her auntโs hands according to her own ideas
of her own duties; and while her aunt was ill she could not even learn
what might be the behests which she would be called on to obey.
She was sitting one evening alone, thinking of all this, having left
Martha with her aunt, and was trying to reconcile the circumstances of
her life as it now existed with the circumstances as they had been with
her in the old days at Nuncombe Putney, wondering at herself in that
she should have a lover, and trying to convince herself that for her
this little episode of romance could mean nothing serious, when Martha
crept down into the room to her. Of late daysโthe alteration might
perhaps be dated from the rejection of Mr GibsonโMartha, who had always
been very kind, had become more respectful in her manner to Dorothy
than had heretofore been usual with her. Dorothy was quite aware of it,
and was not unconscious of a certain rise in the world which was
thereby indicated. โIf you please, miss,โ said Martha, โwho do you
think is here?โ
โBut there is nobody with my aunt?โ said Dorothy.
โShe is sleeping like a babby, and I came down just for a moment. Mr
Gibson is here, miss in the house! He asked for your aunt, and when, of
course, he could not see her, he asked for you.โ Dorothy for a few
minutes was utterly disconcerted, but at last she consented to see Mr
Gibson. โI think it is best,โ said Martha, โbecause it is bad to be
fighting, and missus so ill. โBlessed are the peace-makers,โ miss, โfor
they shall be called the children of God.โโ Convinced by this argument,
or by the working of her own mind, Dorothy directed that Mr Gibson
might be shewn into the room.
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