A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (the red fox clan .TXT) 📕

“He skinned them alive, and they deserved it—anyway, the whole kingdom rejoiced.  Well, among the flayed were Sir Agravaine and Sir Mordred, nephews to the king.  End of the first act.  Act second, scene first, an apartment in Carlisle castle, where the court had gone for a few days’ hunting.  Persons present, the whole tribe of the king’s nephews.  Mordred and Agravaine propose to call the guileless Arthur’s attention to Guenever and Sir Launcelot.  Sir Gawaine, Sir Gareth, and Sir Gaheris will have nothing to do with it.  A dispute ensues, with loud talk; in the midst of it enter the king.  Mordred and Agravaine spring their devastating tale upon him.  Tableau .  A trap is laid for Launcelot, by the king’s command, and Sir Launcelot walks into it.  He made it sufficiently uncomfortable for the ambushed witnesses—to wit, Mordred, Agravaine, and twelve knights of lesser rank, for he killed every one of them but Mordred; but of course that couldn’t straighten matters between Launcelot and the king, and didn’t.”

“Oh, dear, only one thing could result—I see that.  War, and the knights of the realm divided into a king’s party and a Sir Launcelot’s party.”

“Yes—that was the way of it.  The king sent the queen to the stake, proposing to purify her with fire.  Launcelot and his knights rescued her, and in doing it slew certain good old friends of yours and mine—in fact, some of the best we ever had; to wit, Sir Belias le Orgulous, Sir Segwarides, Sir Griflet le Fils de Dieu, Sir Brandiles, Sir Aglovale—”

“Oh, you tear out my heartstrings.”

“—wait, I’m not done yet—Sir Tor, Sir Gauter, Sir Gillimer—”

“The very best man in my subordinate nine.  What a handy right-fielder he was!”

“—Sir Reynold’s three brothers, Sir Damus, Sir Priamus, Sir Kay the Stranger—”

“My peerless short-stop!  I’ve seen him catch a daisy-cutter in his teeth.  Come, I can’t stand this!”

“—Sir Driant, Sir Lambegus, Sir Herminde, Sir Pertilope, Sir Perimones, and—whom do you think?”

“Rush!  Go on.”

“Sir Gaheris, and Sir Gareth—both!”

“Oh, incredible!  Their love for Launcelot was indestructible.”

“Well, it was an accident.  They were simply onlookers; they were unarmed, and were merely there to witness the queen’s punishment. Sir Launcelot smote down whoever came in the way of his blind fury, and he killed these without noticing who they were.  Here is an instantaneous photograph one of our boys got of the battle; it’s for sale on every news-stand.  There—the figures nearest the queen are Sir Launcelot with his sword up, and Sir Gareth gasping his latest breath.  You can catch the agony in the queen’s face through the curling smoke.  It’s a rattling battle-picture.”

“Indeed, it is.  We must take good care of it; its historical value is incalculable.  Go on.”