Mother's Remedies by Thomas Jefferson Ritter (positive books to read txt) 📕

The second skipped out, disdaining the step. The third descended gracefully and with dignity, and Cupid's ambassador decided she would make the most fitting empress.

At certain finishing schools, lessons in deportment include training in how to enter and leave a vehicle gracefully. Stepping out on the right-hand side, the right foot is placed on the step, the left naturally falls on the ground. Entering, the left foot is first advanced. In this way the other foot clears the body of the carriage without awkwardness.

Minor Items.—The rule that the owner of the carriage occupies the right-hand seat even when accompanied by a guest, is almost universally observed. The only exception seems to be when the guest is a person of unusual distinction.

To place one's carriage at the disposal of a friend is a great courtesy, and should never be abused by the recipient. In case of accident the occupant should pay the bills for repairs, or at least urge that she be allowed to do so.

If a lady invites a friend to pay calls with her, dropping her companion to call on some acquaintance while she goes on to see a friend of her own, the lady thus favored must not keep her waiting on her return, more than the few moments necessary to make her adieux.

CIVILITY IN PUBLIC.

One is shocked, often, at the prevalence of rudeness in human intercourse. People who are courteous in the drawing-room are sometimes horribly uncivil in public. They crowd and jostle and elbow in thc endeavor to secure better places for themselves, violating every canon of politeness. Women have fainted, gowns have been ruined and valuable articles lost in "crushes" incident to gatherings in "our best society."

Many people carry an umbrella with utter disregard of the eyes and headgear of the passing crowd. Closed, it is tucked under the arm, the ferrule projecting behind on a level with the face of a pedestrian. They go through a heavy door, pushing it open for themselves and letting it swing back against the next comer. They step in advance of those who have prior claim to be shown to seats, and accept civilities and service without so much as a "Thank you." They endeavor to obtain "something for nothing" by piling their luggage into seats they have not paid for on the train; on the boat they fortify themselves in a circle of chairs that are "engaged"—generally to hold their wraps and lunch-boxes, while others look in vain for seats.

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Rude Tourists.—Tourists have a reputation for a disregard of the rights of others, which makes them obnoxiously uncivil. They enter a church where worshipers are kneeling and audibly criticise the architecture and decorations, or the faith to which it is consecrated. They comment flippantly on great pictures in art galleries, and snicker over undraped statues, evincing the commonness of their minds and their lack of knowledge of art. But one of the worst lapses of decorum is to sit in a theatre and anticipate the action of the play, or the development of a musical number, by explanations to a companion. To do so may show familiarity with the play or the score, but it also shows a painful lack of good breeding, and a disregard of others' rights to peaceful enjoyment. On a par with this is the incivility of a person who undertakes to accompany a soloist with his (or her) own little pipe, to the annoyance of those who prefer to listen to professional rather than amateur efforts.

Of course all these rude people excuse themselves by saying they "get left" if they don't "rush," and that they "paid for their seats," as if this atoned for their disregard of those who, equally with themselves, have paid for a pleasure spoiled for them by the greed or impertinence of their fellow men—and women.

Telephone Etiquette.—"Central" could disclose how discourteous many women who pique themselves on their good manners can be when they are "calling down" the tradesman who has made a mistake in filling their order. And how often a party line is held for a lengthy "telephone visit" while others wait their really important affairs because the "line's busy!"

The manners of the public need reforming. Civility is a public good. Without it, we would be barbarians. It is the practical application of the Golden Rule to everyday life. To lay aside our own courtesy because we are in a crowd, or among people who do not know us, reduces us below the level of those who are not versed in the social requirements, because we know them and should practise them, whereas they do not know.

DUTIES AND DRESS OF SERVANTS.

In many large and well-to-do households in this country only one maid, the "girl for general housework" is engaged, the mistress and her daughters assisting with the lighter parts of the work. In such case each must have a certain definite portion of the daily duties and be responsible for its performance. Very few maids are capable enough to do all the work of a good sized family without assistance, even though the linen be sent to the laundry.

The One Maid.—Where but one maid is kept she must rise early and put in a couple of hours' work before breakfast, airing the house and perhaps putting in order and dusting the living rooms, then preparing breakfast. She will probably serve it unless everything is put on the table, in which case she may busy herself in the kitchen, washing the rougher dishes used in preparing the meal. The mistress of each household must make out her own schedule for the week, according to the convenience of the family.

The maid is supposed to have her dress changed by three o'clock. She will wear a simple but neat cotton gown about her work, mornings; in the afternoon she will put on a black dress with white apron, collar and cuffs. She is expected to keep a clean apron in the kitchen to slip on if summoned to the door before luncheon. She should never answer the bell with her sleeves rolled up. The mistress provides the white apron with shoulder pieces, the linen cuffs and collar worn by the maid of all work in the afternoon and evening. These are the mistress's property, remaining in the family through the changes of servants. So many girls object to the cap that it is seldom seen save in very formal establishments. If worn, the mistress furnishes it.

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Instructing the Maid.—If the mistress finds her maid's education in her duties is deficient, she should teach her to open the door wide, as if the visitor were welcome; to have her tray ready to receive cards; to be informed as to whether the mistress is at home or not that she may answer the visitor's inquiry at once. She is to usher the visitor into the drawing room or parlor, take the card to her mistress and return to say that "Mrs. Blank will be down in a few minutes," never alluding to her mistress as "she," as some ill-trained girls do.

If a lady who keeps but one maid entertains at all she must instruct the girl in the proper serving of meals. In the first place, everything that is necessary for the service must be ready; there must be no getting out of extra silver or china at the last moment, with its upsetting confusion. The menu must be so carefully planned that most of the food to be served can be prepared beforehand. For a six o'clock company dinner, the soup may be hot in the kettle; the fowl or joint in the oven; the entree waiting the finishing touches on the back of the range, the vegetables in the warmer, and the dessert in the ice-box. All the china and silver being in readiness and the table properly laid, the maid slips into her black dress and apron, and presents herself at the drawing-room door, announcing "Dinner' is served."

The Maid's Serving.—The guests being seated, she brings in the soup tureen, uncovers it, taking the cover to the pantry as she goes for the hot soup plates. She then stands at the left of the mistress with a tray, covered with a doily, in her left hand, a folded napkin under the tray; takes the soup plates as they are filled, passing them to the left of each guest, taking the plate from the tray with the right hand. She then removes the tureen. Removing the plates she takes them from the left side of the guest. The roast is brought in and served in the same manner as the soup; the vegetables are passed, each guest helping himself from the dish. The salad is usually served on the plates upon which it has been arranged. After the salad the table is cleared and the crumbs brushed with a napkin upon a plate or tray, and the dessert brought on for the hostess to serve, The latter starts the little dishes of bonbons or salted nuts on their travels, guests passing them along.

Chocolate is a good beverage to serve on such occasions; it can be made in the morning, or even the day before, and heated without in the least impairing its quality.

Given a capable, willing girl, one anxious to learn and not too self-conscious, a woman may entertain two or three or four guests very adequately if she will plan her menu carefully and see, personally, that everything is in readiness. She should, however, avoid any overelaboration. Better a simple meal well prepared and served than a more pretentious one that fails in these particulars.

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Duties of Waitress and Cook.—Where two maids are kept they are waitress— "second girl" or "housemaid," sometimes so-called—and cook. The housemaid—we will so style her—opens and airs the house and dusts and arranges the rooms before breakfast. She serves the breakfast, clears the table and washes the dishes taken from it. She then proceeds to the bedrooms, putting them in order, dusting, making beds, etc. She will probably have fine lingerie waists, etc., to wash and iron on certain mornings. She does the sweeping, unless there is a man to take out and beat the rugs, and wipes up hardwood floors. She must clean the silver once a week and rub up brass; keep the pantries in order, clean the bathrooms, wait on table, answer the bell, both the door bell and her mistress's bell, and usually assist the latter in dressing. She is expected to do part of the family mending, keeping table linen and bed linen in good condition, and in some households is expected to wash and iron the napkins and dish-towels, unless a laundress is employed.

The Cook's Work.—The cook must prepare the meals, and put the food into the proper dishes and these in the pantry, ready for the waitress, who is not expected to enter the kitchen during the service of a meal. She washes the dishes used in the kitchen and the meat dishes from the table; she must keep the kitchen and its adjuncts, including back stairs, refrigerator, back porch and closet in order. Her mistress plans the meals with her, and she is expected to make good and economical use of left-overs. She often does the ordering by telephone, and sees to the milk, ice, etc., as they are delivered.

Should Understand Duties.—Most of the difficulties between servants arise from misunderstanding of and friction about their respective duties. It is best to have a definite and thorough understanding as to the work expected of each before engaging her. Both cook and housemaid have one afternoon and one evening each week and every other Sunday afternoon. When one is off duty the other must necessarily assume part of her work. Some mistresses allow a girl the afternoon and evening of one day; others give one afternoon, and the evening of another day, requiring the cook to return to prepare dinner on her "day" and the maid to come back to serve it on hers. If afternoon and evening go together the cook is expected to leave everything in readiness for the evening meal; the cook, on the housemaid's day out, must wait upon the table.

Servants always respect a mistress who knows her rights, exacts them, and respects her servant's rights. She should permit no familiarities; at the same time she must not regard her household assistants as mere machines, beyond her sympathy, Good mistresses make good servants.

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The Nurse.—The nurse must wash and dress the children; keep their clothes in order, washing and ironing the finer articles; eat with