Garman And Worse A Norwegian Novel by Alexander Lange Kielland (best ereader for pdf and epub txt) 📕

Same Direction; But At Last She Became So Fascinated By Her Lively And

Talkative Friend,  That She Began To Lose Some Of Her Self-Possession,

And A Feeling Of Anxiety Which She Could Not Comprehend,  Came Over Her

Lest Some Fate Was In Store For Her Which She Was Unable To Avert.

Fanny Stood By The Window,  Looking At Delphin As He Left The House. He

Was Not Such A Little Man,  After All! He Had A Nice Figure,  And His

Clothes Fitted As If He Had Been Melted Into Them. There Was An Air Of

Distinction About His Black Moustache And Curly Hair. He Was,  In Fact,  A

Man That You Would Look Twice At Anywhere. It Was Wonderful She Had

Never Remarked It Before!

Fanny Turned To Madeleine,  Who Was Clearing The Table,  And Observed Her

Narrowly.

"I Notice,  Mr. Johnsen," Said Rachel,  "That In almost All The

Conversations We Have Had On Serious Subjects,  We Seem To Come To Some

Point Or Another Which All At Once Gives Rise To A Whole Army Of Doubts

And Questions In Us Both; Or Perhaps,  To Speak More Correctly,  In You

Rather Than In Myself."

"The Reason Is That Your Extraordinary Acuteness Leads The Conversation

Into Certain Lines Of Thought," Answered The Inspector.

Rachel Paused For A Moment,  And Looked At Him. At Every Turn Of Their

Interesting Acquaintance She Had Been On Her Guard Against Any Word

Which Had The Slightest Resemblance To A Compliment. But When She Saw

Before Her The Earnest And Somewhat Plain Features Of Her Friend,  She

Felt That Her Caution Was Unnecessary,  And She Answered,  "It Does Not

Require Any Extraordinary Acuteness To Perceive That When Two People

Make An Attempt In common To Thoroughly Understand Any Subject,  They Are

More Likely To Be Successful Than If Each Were To Work For Himself. But

What Appears To Me Most Remarkable Is Really This,  That You Did Not Long

Ago Work Out These Problems For Yourself."

"You Have Opened My Eyes To Many Things Which Hitherto--"

"But Hear What I Have To Say," Broke In Rachel,  With Some Impatience.

"We Have Been Going Backwards And Forwards Here Certainly For Half An

Hour,  Talking About The Many Difficulties Which Must Beset A Clergyman,

Who Is At The Same Time The Servant Of Both God And The State,  And

Continually,  Or At Least Several Times,  You Have Told Me That I Was

Right,  Or That You Had Not Thought Of Such And Such Things Before,  Or

Something Of That Sort." Rachel Stopped In The Broad Path Between The

Hedges In Front Of The House,  Where They Were Walking,  And,  Looking Him

Full In The Face,  Said,  "How Is It Possible,  Mr. Johnsen,  That You Who

Have Studied Theology,  And Intend In The Course Of Time To Take Priest'S

Orders,  Have Not Already Long Ago Made The Subject Clear To Yourself,

And Taken Your Line Accordingly?"

Johnsen'S Eyes Fell Before Her Clear And Penetrating Glance As He

Answered,  "I Have Been Quite Enough Troubled By Doubts And Anxieties,

Which Are Things None Of Us Can Escape; But If It Now Appears To

You--And I Must Confess That It Is The Fact--That I Have Neglected

Certain Points,  I Must Plead That This Negligence Has Been Caused By My

Peculiar Education. I Come From A Poor Home,  A Very Poor Home"--He

Seemed To Regain His Confidence As He Spoke--"And I Have Raised Myself,

Without Any Special Abilities,  By Sheer Hard Work. My Time Has,

Therefore,  Been Fully Occupied During My Studies,  And,  As Far As My

Opinion Goes,  A Person Who Is Working In Real Earnest Has But Little

Time For Speculation. Besides,  There Is Something About The Subject

Itself,  And About The Men With Whom One Is Brought Into

Contact--Something,  What Shall I Call It?--Something Soothing,

Reassuring,  Which Has The Effect Of Making The Doubts Which From Time To

Time Appear Bring,  As It Were,  Their Own Solution With Them. But Life'S

Experience,  And Even More,  My Aquaintance With You,  Miss Garman,  Has

Caused Me To Waver On Many Points."

"Do You Remember Our First Conversation?" She Asked.

"I Don'T Think I Have Forgotten A Single Word That Has Passed Between

Us."

"It Was One Of The First Sundays You Were At Sandsgaard."

"The Conversation At Dinner Turned Upon The Subject Of War. Was Not That

The Day You Mean?" Asked He.

"Yes,  Exactly," Answered Rachel. "Mr. Delphin Was Maintaining,  In His

Foolish,  Superficial Way,  That The Spirit Of The Time Would Soon Get Rid

Of The Evil Of War,  If We Could Only Have Done With Kings And Priests.

You May Remember Mr. Martens Got Quite Excited,  And Insisted That

Priests Were Distinctly Men Of Peace,  And That Their Work Was The Work

Of Peace. And Then Mr. Delphin Made The Adroit Answer,  That Any One Who

Liked Could Go To Church Any Sunday,  And Hear How Devoutly This Man Of

Peace,  Mr. Martens,  Prays For The Arms Of The Country By Land And By

Sea."

"I Remember It Very Well," Answered Johnsen,  With A Smile; "It Was Just

There I Joined In The Conversation."

"Yes; You Declared That You Would Never,  If You Were Ordained,  Mention

The Arms Of The Country In Your Prayers."

"Neither Will I; Nothing Shall Ever Make Me."

Rachel Looked At Him: He Was In Just The Humour She Liked To See Him.

"I Bring This To Your Recollection," She Went On,  "Because I Know Now

That There Are Many Other Duties Which Fall To The Lot Of A Clergyman,

That You Will Not Be Able Altogether To Reconcile With Your Convictions.

In The Course Of Our Conversations You Have Expressed Many Decided

Opinions--For Instance,  About The Marriage Service,  About Absolution,

Confirmation,  And Several Other Matters; So That It Now Appears Clear To

Me That You Must Either Give Up The Idea Of Being Ordained,  Or Else Be

False To Yourself."

"False To Myself I Cannot Be," Cried He; "I Would Rather Give Up My

Future Prospects."

"But Is That Sufficient?"

"I Don'T Understand You,  Miss Garman."

"Do You Think That You Would Be Doing Yourself Justice By Thus Evading

The Responsibility That Your Convictions Give Rise To? If I Were A

Man"--Rachel Drew Herself Up--"I Would Go And Seek The Conflict,  And Not

Shirk It."

"Neither Will I Shirk It,  Miss Garman," Answered Johnsen.

"I Hope You Won'T; There Are Quite Enough Who Do." She Looked Towards

The House To Which They Were Approaching,  And Through The Open Window

Saw Fanny And Delphin Carrying On A Flirtation. Pastor Martens And

Madeleine Were Going Towards The Croquet Lawn,  And Jacob Worse Stood

Watching Them With A Cigar In His Mouth.

Rachel Turned Quickly Round To Her Companion And Said,  "I Don'T Know

Anything More Despicable Than When A Man Does Not Dare,  Either By Word

Or Deed,  To Declare Plainly What He Feels In His Inner Consciousness To

Be In Opposition With Generally Received Opinions. A Man Who Sneaks

Through Life In This Manner Is,  In My Opinion,  A Coward."

She Went Towards The House,  And Johnsen Remained Standing For A Moment,

And Then Wandered Down The Path Again,  Lost In deep Thought.

Jacob Worse Said To Her As She Passed Him,  "Would You Like To Join The

Croquet? I Hardly Think It Is Right To Leave Your Cousin To Play Alone

With The Chaplain."

"I Think You Might Have Spared Yourself That Well-Meant Remark,  Mr.

Worse," Answered Rachel,  In a Tone Which Made Him Look At Her With

Astonishment. "It Seems To Me,  On The Contrary,  That Madeleine Is In

Very Good Company--Just The Company That Suits Her."

"I Beg Your Pardon," Answered Worse,  Good Humouredly. "I Did Not Mean To

Be Indiscreet; But I Cannot Help Feeling That Your Cousin Is In Reality

Of Such A Lively Nature,  It Is Hard For Her To Find Vent For Her

Spirits."

"I Did Not Know That Madeleine Had Such A Concealed Fund Of Spirits. As

A General Rule,  I Do Not Much Care For People Who Are Afraid To Show

Their Feelings."

"Afraid?" Asked He,  In astonishment.

"Yes; I Said Afraid. What Else Is It But Want Of Courage Which Makes A

Man Sit Down Quietly And Hide His Thoughts,  Conceal His Convictions,

Live A False Life,  And Play A Part From Morning To Night? It Were Better

To Do Like Your Friend Out There"--And She Gave A Toss Of Her Head

Towards Delphin--"To Talk So Grandly About One'S Principles,  And To

Illustrate Them By Paradoxes And Witticisms."

Jacob Worse Now Saw That He Had Found Rachel In a More Earnest Mood Than

He Had Expected.

"I Have Often Observed," Said He,  Seriously,  "That You Always Think That

It Is A Man'S Duty To Speak Out Boldly When He Finds His Convictions Are

In Danger; But Allow Me To Explain--"

"I Don'T Want To Hear Any Explanations," Rejoined Rachel,  "And You Are

Not Bound To Give Me Any; But I Repeat What I