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“That’s how I found out that he didn’t write them. I was asking him questions about what he’d written and his answers didn’t add up. I confess that I tricked him a little. I’m not proud of it, but I had to know the truth,” Tessa finished and took a steadying breath. She didn’t want to have the children come into the kitchen to find her crying.
Lydia was stunned. It was something she never would have expected of Dean. She saw both sides of the issue. She knew Dean had trouble talking about his feelings and that neither he nor Seth had Marcus’ head for reading and writing. Lydia could understand why Dean would get Marcus to write the letters, but he could have handled things differently.
“You think I’m being silly, don’t you?” Tessa asked anxiously. Lydia’s opinion mattered greatly to her.
Lydia laughed. “No, I don’t. It’s understandable why you’re hurt. He should have asked your permission to have Marcus help him. Dean should have explained the situation, but that’s male pride for you, Tessa. I’m sure you’re used to dealing with men who have a lot of education, but, out here, it’s different. As you know, we don’t have a school near here, so it was a good thing the boys’ father was fairly well educated. My mother was a teacher, so I was lucky, too. Marcus was a natural born student, much the same as Sadie, but Seth and Dean were not and had to work at it.”
“I see,” Tessa said. “I sometimes forget that it’s not as settled here and that schooling is scarce. I can understand, but it’s the principle behind it. He doesn’t understand why I’m so upset about it. I feel as if I was brought here under false pretenses. I wanted to connect with Dean and no one else, and I feel as if that didn’t happen. I moved back upstairs. I can’t sleep in the same room with him.”
Lydia put a hand over her mouth. “Oh, my. I would ask that you don’t do anything rash, Tessa. It might take some time, but do you think that there’s a chance of forgiveness?”
“I don’t know. That might be up to him, Lydia. I’m just so hurt right now,” Tessa said.
Sadie came into the room then and the subject was dropped.
Evening had come and Dean sat on the small porch of Seth’s bunkhouse, explaining the situation with Tessa to his brother. He valued Seth’s opinion and needed a sounding board.
Seth let out a low whistle. “Boy, you really stepped in it, Dean.”
Dean’s face took on a stubborn scowl. “I told her why I did it and it didn’t seem to matter to her. I wasn’t trying to lie. I just didn’t want her to think I was stupid.”
“Hmm. Seems like that’s what happened anyway,” Seth said with a smile.
“This isn’t funny, Seth. She moved back upstairs.”
Seth said, “Well, I can’t blame her in a way.”
“Why?”
Seth shifted in the rocking chair on the small porch of his bunkhouse to look at his brother. “Dean, the only woman you’ve ever been romantically involved with before was Sarah. You two knew each other as youngsters and fell in love early. She was a sweet woman and I loved her very much,” he said. “But take it from someone who’s been, uh, involved with a lot more women. There are things that matter most to women and honesty is number one. Even if they don’t like what you’re saying, if you’re honest, they respect you. You weren’t completely honest with her and she thinks that everything was a lie. She’s not going to want to share a bed with someone she thinks she doesn’t know.”
Dean sighed. “There were no lies in those letters. Everything Marcus put in those letters was what I told him to write. He just says it better, that’s all. I didn’t know this was going to be such a big deal.”
“Yeah, you’re right about Marcus being smart like that. He’s like Pa. Ma was a smart woman, too, don’t forget. Just in a different way,” Seth said. “As far as lying goes, I’m not sayin’ you meant to trick her or anything, but you should have let her know that someone was helpin’ you. I didn’t know Marcus was or I would have mentioned that part to you.”
“I know. Tessa comes from a whole other world, Seth. She has an education and I figured that she wouldn’t keep writing to someone who sounded like I would have. How was I gonna compete with those letters?” Dean asked.
“Yep, I get that, too.”
Dean shot Seth an exasperated look. “You get it, but I’m still wrong somehow. That’s what you’re sayin’. She wouldn’t even listen to me or try to understand.”
Seth chuckled. “Well, that’s typical. When anyone’s feelings get hurt, it’s hard to listen to reason. You know what that’s like. Maybe just give her some time and let her temper cool.”
Dean said nothing more. He may not be a man of many words, but he was a man of action. He was danged if he was going to let this go on. Dean wasn’t going to let the woman go on thinking the worst of him.
Marcus sat out on his porch that same evening, whittling like usual. Roscoe sat beside him. The dog’s ears perked up and he barked. Marcus looked up and was surprised to see Tessa riding Zip up to his porch.
“Hey there, Tessa. Did you come for your whittling lesson?” he asked with a smile.
As Tessa came up on the porch and sat in one of the chairs close to him, Marcus could see that something was troubling his sister-in-law.
She looked him in the eyes and said, “Marcus, it has come to my understanding that you were the one who wrote back and forth with me.”
“Yeah. Well, sort of. Dean responded to what you wrote, but I just made it a little more polished,” Marcus said.
Tessa’s eyes became stormy with anger. “You had no right to read the things I wrote. They were meant for Dean and no one else, Marcus. You invaded my privacy and now I feel as if I do not really know my husband. Do you understand that?”
Marcus put down his whittling and faced her. “I’m sorry, Tessa. I didn’t think of it like that. I was just trying to help him out, that’s all. He’s pretty reticent about his feelings, especially after Sarah and the baby.”
“I would have appreciated knowing that he had help with writing them, but I will be honest with you. If I had known that someone else was reading my letters, the correspondence would have stopped and I would not be here,” she said.
Marcus’ eyebrows rose. “Really? You feel that strongly about it?”
“Yes! Imagine if you were writing to someone, telling them very personal things, only to find out that they were reading them to other people,” Tessa said.
“Tessa, no one ever saw those letters but Dean and I,” Marcus said. “I promise you that. Is that what you and Dean are fighting about?”
It surprised Tessa that Marcus was aware of the strife between her and Dean. “You know? Did Lydia tell you?”
“No. It’s your body language when you’re together. I’m good at reading it. I could tell that something was amiss just by the way you acted around each other,” Marcus said.
“You are obviously very observant,” Tessa said. “Yes. This is what is wrong between us. I feel as if I do not know him. He didn’t even take the time to read what you wrote in response to my letters.”
Marcus smiled a little. “That’s because Dean trusts me so much. I should have made him proofread them. This whole thing is partly my fault. I got caught up in playing matchmaker and I didn’t stop to consider your feelings about someone besides Dean reading your letters. I should have written to explain to you why Dean wanted help. But in a way, I’m glad I didn’t because you’re here now.”
Tessa said, “So you feel the deception was worth it?”
“Yeah. Dean has been miserable, Tessa, as you know. Since you came here, he started coming alive again and seeing him happy again, well, I can’t really tell you how much it means to me and Seth to see him like that. And can you honestly say that in your
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