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Geoffrey followed his son-in-law.
Dean stood looking out onto the pasture beyond the main barn. Tears stung his eyes as he thought about Sarah. His mind conjured up her pretty face and the sound of her laughter. Dean had loved her deeply and hearing their children call Tessa a motherly name had created mixed feelings in him.
Seeing someone move into his periphery vision, Dean was surprised to see Geoffrey come to stand by him.
Geoffrey asked, “What has upset you, Dean?”
Dean shook his head. “It’s hard to explain.”
“That just means you find it hard to talk about,” Geoffrey said insightfully. “Dean, I can see that you are rather private about your feelings and I’ve only just met you. There are times, however, when it’s better to voice them.”
Dean sighed as he gathered his thoughts. “Geoffrey, I’ve seen so much death in my family in such a short time. Our parents both passed within two years of each other. I was nineteen when Pa died and twenty-one when Ma passed away. Sarah and I were married the year before Pa died. If I wouldn’t have had her, I probably would’ve gone insane with grief.”
Geoffrey laid a hand on Dean’s shoulder. His heart went out to the younger man. Though he made the comforting gesture, Geoffrey remained silent.
“Then five years after Ma died, my wife and child died during childbirth,” Dean said.
Geoffrey actually jerked with surprise. “Oh, Dean. I had no idea. I’m so sorry,” he said. Geoffrey could only imagine how much such painful grief must have weighed on Dean.
“At the age of twenty-six, I was a widower with two little kids to raise and I’d lost a child, too. I almost didn’t make it through it, Geoffrey. I’m not proud of it, but I gave in to the grief a lot. And then three years later, Marcus puts an ad in the papers back East for a mail-order-bride for me. Next thing I know, I get a letter from your daughter and I just had to write to her. At first, I was dead set against gettin’ involved with another woman. I was too scared.”
“I can understand that,” Geoffrey sympathized.
Laughing a little, Dean said, “We wrote for about two months and then she said she wanted to come meet all of us. Geoffrey, I never expected to find anyone who would be willing to take on two kids who weren’t their own, but Tessa did. You see her with them. They’ve gotten very attached to her.”
“Yes, I do indeed see,” Geoffrey said with a chuckle. “And I have quickly come to be an adopted grandfather.”
Dean laughed. “Yeah, that’s Jack for you. Stubborn as the day is long. Once he gets something in his mind, that’s it. He’s like Seth that way.”
“Oh, I think he has a lot of his father in him, too,” Geoffrey admitted.
“I guess so,” Dean said with pride. “The truth is that I half hoped that the kids would want to call her ma or something like that, and the other half of me dreaded it.”
“Why?”
“Geoffrey, you’ve never lost the woman you were in love with and the mother of your children, have you?”
Geoffrey shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”
“It’s hard to let her go,” Dean said. “I have been bit by bit, but it’s hurt like hell. Finding out that I could be attracted to another woman besides Sarah was a shock. That was the first little bit I let go of Sarah. Then there was the first time I kissed Tessa and so it went. Little by little, I’m letting go of her. I think the last little bit is hearing the kids actually call Tessa a name that means she’s a mother to them. And although it makes me happy, it makes me sad, too. Does that make sense to you?”
Geoffrey cleared his throat against the constriction there and said, “Yes, Dean, it does. If I ever lost Maureen, I’m sure that I would feel the same way. After hearing all you’ve said, there’s a question I need to ask you, Dean. Do you love my daughter?”
It was the question Dean had been wrestling with for some time now. Dean looked deep within himself and thought about Geoffrey’s question some more. He smiled as he found the answer. “Yes, sir, I do. I never thought I’d fall in love again, but I have.” Now I just have to tell her. That is, if I can get her to talk to me.
“I’m glad to hear that, Dean. I want my daughter to be happy and it seems like she found happiness with you when she couldn’t find it with any of the men back home,” Geoffrey said.
Dean asked, “Why is that? I mean, she’s smart and beautiful and full of pluck. Who wouldn’t want her?”
“It wasn’t they who didn’t want her. It was her who didn’t want them. She found the men in our social circles boring and phony. Tessa wanted someone exciting and a man with substance.”
“I guess she thinks I’m exciting enough if she married me,” Dean said with a grin.
Geoffrey chucked. “Yes, I can see how she would. And you are a man with substance. You’re a hard worker who has come through the most horrible things life could throw at you and you’re still here. I’m sure one of the things that attracted Tessa to you was your fortitude to be able to go on after something like that.”
“Thank you, sir. That means a lot coming from my father-in-law,” Dean said. “Look, I’m not rich, but I’m a good provider and I’ll make sure there’s food on the table and clothes on everyone’s back. My brothers and I are working to make this place start to turn profits and I’ll do anything to make Tessa and the kids happy. You need to know those things about me.”
Geoffrey felt respect for Dean grow inside as he looked at the younger man. “As one father to another, you understand how much hearing you say that means. Before I go back to Pittsburgh and leave my daughter here, I need to know that she’s in good hands. From what I’ve seen in just one day, I’m inclined to believe that she is.”
Dean nodded and said, “Yes, sir, she is.”
Geoffrey smiled and walked away, leaving Dean alone with his thoughts once more.
Bedtime came and Dean couldn’t sleep as he lay on a bedroll on the floor. The thought of Tessa’s warm, shapely body only a few feet away tormented him. He tried everything to get to sleep from thinking about cattle prices in the fall to actually counting sheep. Nothing worked.
Tessa heard him tossing around and knew the feeling. She’d never understood what true passion was before marrying Dean and she longed for her husband. Sighing, Tessa rolled onto her back and looked at the ceiling.
“You can’t sleep, either,” came Dean’s voice from below the bed.
He'd startled her. “No, I can’t.”
“Tessa, how long is this gonna go on? Aren’t you as miserable as I am?” Dean asked as he rose and sat on the bed.
Her hands itched to touch his broad, muscular chest. The moonlight shone on his hair and turned it from golden blond to silver. His eyes roamed over her and there was no mistaking his desire for her. Tessa’s body reacted and she was sure he could see the same thing in hers.
Dean asked, “How long do I have to sleep on the floor and not beside my wife where I belong?”
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “I don’t know, Dean. Do you understand why I am hurt so much?”
Dean looked away for a moment and his jaw squared. “Do you understand how angry I am at you for not telling your family about marrying me?”
Tessa rolled back over. “I guess there are things that neither of us understands about the other. Goodnight, Dean.”
Dean made a sarcastic noise. “I guess so.”
Slow tears made their way down Tessa’s face as she felt Dean leave the bed and heard him lay down on the floor again.
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