The Call in the Oval Office by Patrick Sean Lee (robert munsch read aloud .TXT) 📕

Hello dear, what’s up?

Yes, I love you, too. What else? I’m kind of busy right now.

Pick up pretzels on the way home? Home’s only two rooms down for crying out loud! Just call Max downstairs; have him bri…

No, no I’m not angry, it’s just that…

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well then, call Max and then call Myrtle in Housekeeping. Have her bring up a doggy-bag. I begged you not to get a Saint Bernard!

I didn’t say I didn’t like him, it's just that…

No, I would NOT have rather had a teacup poodle…

No, not a Chihuahua either. Look, grab your purse and go buy some…

Well then spray some deodorant or something on it until Myrtle gets there…

Hang on, hang on. Crap almighty!

Bess! Didn’t I tell you to hold all calls!

The Secretary of Defense?

What do you mean he's crying?

No, I haven't looked out of the window.

Okay, okay, just put him on hold.

Yes, I’m back honey, but look…

Ah, sweetheart…I’m NOT running down to the market! It’s crazy here right now…

Uh-huh…well forget his damned leash and…

Then leave the door unlocked for Max and Myrtle. It isn’t like we don’t have security here.

But…

But…

Hold on, I'm getting another call.

What is it, Bess?

You're kidding.

How many?

Shit. Hang on, I'll be right back.

You there, honey?

Good.

Yeah, sure. I'll go as soon as I get this other little matter resolved...

No, no, the Republicans aren't actually involved this time. Look, I just pushed the button…

No, not the intercom, the…

Yes, but…

Okay, I know it smells in there…

I don’t want pretzels right now!

No, The Blacklist'll be on in about 15…oh, wait, I guess it won’t.

What I mean by that is...well, get on down to the basement pronto...

Publication Date: 02-23-2015

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