American library books Β» Humor Β» Territory: Zombie by Siaya Noi (top novels TXT) πŸ“•

Read book online Β«Territory: Zombie by Siaya Noi (top novels TXT) πŸ“•Β».   Author   -   Siaya Noi



Chapter 1


Chapter 1


''I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens''. - Woody Allen


eeeeeerrrrrrrkkkkkkkkk.


Thats the sound of my cat doing all his business in his litter box around 3 o'clock in morining.
I open my eyes and stare straight into darkness annoyed,I turn on my right side of my bed and lean over to turn on my old 80's lap. When I turn it on my cat stops what hes doing and looks up at me and screeches while he is in the middle of pushing a pebble out........I know, quite disturbing.
I try to stand up out of my bed when I hear the front door slam.
'Great.' I thought to my self, 'Shes home.'
I walk out of my room and down a dark hall way to the foot of the stairs and to see the kitchen light on and a pair of feet laying across the wooden floor. I strode down the stairs slowly to find my mother laying on the floor, again, I groan in irrablity.
''Mom,'' I groaned, '' you have to get up by yourself, I'm not helping you again.'' I say as I walk around her pretend dead body to get to the cabinets.
''mm-mm-ah-donuts.'' my mother mubbles still lying on the floor. (You see my mother likes to go out every night to party when she has to take care of me and my older brother. She started being a drunk when my father left us when I turned 14, Happy Freaken Birthday to me. She always says she gonna stop but when she gets around to it she just goes upstairs and starts to cry (1. because she ran out of beer, 2.She misses my father, 3.She always hit her pinky toe at edge of the door way.) then I just leave so I don't have to hear it. tonight she is infact drunk and im not helping her go up the stairs like I did 532 times and yes I count.)
I open the cabinet doors and get me a drinking glass and turned around to find my brother staring at me with a knife. (As of right now I have to regret what the hell I just did.) I jumped up and screamed like a girl till I almost wet myself. ( And I did)
''DUDE, WHAT THE HELL!'' I screamed.
''HAHAHHAHAHAHAH, you should have seen the shit look on your face bro.'' My brother backs up into a chair laughing at me unable to breath, my brother is a total wad of ass, just looking at his weight makes me hurl a little. (hes sitting in chair...looks like he consumed the chair into his ass, good lord!)
I am really pissed off now, for one scaring me and made me pee on myself like I'm four and for the fact that he could have stabbed my eye out for having the knife that close to my face, without thinking (I should have thought about it first) I throw the glass at his head and strode to leave the room and of course I couldn't. (thanks mom for blocking the exit)
For a sudden moment my brother stops laughing and looks up at me like he is in another universe, then out of no where my brother starts pulling out Jackie Chan movement across my face.
His left foot trips me till I fall and hit my head on the kitchen tile, (I know I will have a bad headach in the morning...) then he gets on top of me and starts punching both of my cheeks back and forward till I feel something wet slides down on my face and know that I am bleeding, and if he doesn't stop my brother gonna kill (which he has been doing for about 16 years.....the asshole) me.
''ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH JOHN, YOUR GONNA MURDER HIM.'' I hear my mother scream. (Oh she finally relizes shes on earth.)
My brother stops hitting me and grabs my shirts and pulls me up to his face (I know cause I can smell his very bad breath, take a tip from me and get some tick tacks when you have time.....)
''If you hit me again, you WILL be dead you fuck.'' My brother whispers to me.
He lets go of my shirt and my head, again, hits the kicthen tile floor, I feel a big weight lift off from me as I feel a hand on my forehead and hear stomping up the stairs.
''Honey, why are you trying to be a dead man? You know what happens every single time you piss him off.'' My mother is telling me as she is sitting me up. Her breath smells of beer and a whole lot of men's ass (I would not rather tell the story).
My mother sets me down on the couch in the living room and turns on the the t.v.
''Well honey, im going to bed I have a headach and you and your brother made it have a major migrain, goodnight'' my mother said as she was going up the stairs.
What the hell? She didnt even aid me of the blood thats running down on both my cheeks, so with a little (whole lot) of pain I stand up and walk to the bathroom that underneath our stairs and turn on the hot water to wash my face off, I dry my face off with my shirt and look in the mirror to see what damgae my dipshit brother has done to me.
Of course I am greatly pissed cause now I have black eye, both of my cheeks are cut and my lip is busted. I walk out of the bathroom and go upstairs into my room, unaware the t.v. is still on and sit on the bed pissed of that I yet have another bruise this month that will take forever to get off.
I look around my small room and it reminds me of Harry Potter (Harry Pothead....hehehehe sorry inside joke) and the Chamber of Secrets. My brother is kinda like dudly, big and fat and has no pack of nothing on him just a pack of thanksgiving dinner that hangs out of his shirt and pants. My mother is sometimes an ass but when you look on the bright side.........nevermind no bright side about her sometimes, anyway, I stand up and go look in my closet since I won't be going back to sleep anytime soon, I turn and look at the mirror on the right side of my closet door. I'm about 6ft, brown and black short emo hair (I neeeeed a hair cut badly), I'm very skinnt to the point of where im close to being a skeleton, even though I eat good as anyone in this house, and I think im pretty hadsome, then I look down to the big wet spot of my night pant's and get pissed off all over again, this is going to be a long fucking day.....
Oh yeah and I forgot to tell you that my name is in fact: Honey (so fucking gay)

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Publication Date: 12-10-2011

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