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Take it from me I never really had luck with love… never… boy or girl… when I was 13 I was bi and I had to keep it hidden from my dad since he hates gays… Anyway as I sit here typing this im thinking about all the times that I have had broken hearts and bad relationships… one of the worst realtionships that I had when I was bi was with this girl named heather.. man she was great. I thought I was in love she was just amazing… But of course she broke my heart and when she did I wrote something and it goes like this :

Y did you break me?? Y did you go off on me and say it’s done?? I write letters to u in notebook, letters u will never receive… I want answers im searchin blindly in the dark and I cant find the answers… I cried my heart out and u yelled at me saying : “its done, I moved on, y cant u?” no in ur eyes I c that u still love me and one day when I am a little better and when u realize that u lost somebody very dear and when u come to me and say: “im sorry I love u im sorry!” ur goin to be the one that broken… crying in a corner… searching for answers… but when that does happen I will be there to wipe that tear from ur eye and I will hold u one last time and I will kiss u for the LAST time…. Because of u my heart was broken and I put it back together with my own hands not urs…. IM THE ONE THAT MOVED ON AND I LOVE U MY DEAR AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE U… but not enuff to hold u….kiss u… or just say a simple hi…. U hurt me and im sorry u did

I showed that to some people and they thought it was a great way to get my emotions out there.. and to me it was. To me that was some of my best work

Now on to another person his name is Justin he is in a wheelchair and from the first time we met man we kicked it off. We flirted hung out every day.. and the day that I was gonna confes my feelings for him he got asked out by this girl named kelsie… I held my emotions in. Until christmass that was when I told him how I truly felt… and he told me that we should go out secretly and not let kelsie know and of course I was so “in love” with him that I said yess..

Well bye the end of the school year kelsie moved.. so Justin and I decided to bring our relationship out and about.. problem!

Kelsie contacted me on facebook and said “ur a bitch for stealing my boyfriend don’t ever fucking talk to me again u little whore”

I ignored her and had an amazing ride with Justin
Till I found out he was cheeting
By that I wrote something like this :


Boys can be the best thing that ever happened but sometimes that’s not the whole truth some can uses and tell u promises that they never keep or some could be sweethearts but never ever trust them with all your heart you have to keep some space of your heart for yourself yes that boy could bring u great joy but you can’t always trust their words it’s a hard thing not falling into that spell its hard to tell them how you feel I out of all people know this cause it has happened to me and half the girls I know.


Some of my friends said that’s really good
But who knows


Now lets skip a couple of years shall we?

To the night I lost my virginity

It was to this guy named Kragan and he was an amazing guy anyway it was the night of this party and I was 18 and he was also 18 we had rented this limo to arrive…
Once we did
I realized how many amazingly dressed all these girls were
I got instantly jealous

Kragan and I had rented this cute hotel room for the special night cause we had planned it and he had put the condoms in the hotel… yes I was on birth control but just to be on the safe side…..

Anyway back to the party

I went to the bathroom to “puder my nose” and when I came all these girls were around him flirting the asses off !

So bye instinct I took him by the hand and let him to the limo

He asked what I was doing and I didn’t say anything just started ripping off my clothes
We immediately got to it

And while we were “doing it” the front door of the limo opened and our driver sat down in the front seat… it took him awhile to notice us!!! When he did I screamed and ran out of the car with my dress still in the car!!!
I was out in this parking lot with my boyfriend and I both but naked

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Publication Date: 07-31-2011

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