Mr. Dooley's Philosophy by Finley Peter Dunne (ebooks that read to you TXT) 📕

Most vigitaryans I iver see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannybals.

I don't see why anny man who believes in medicine wud shy at th' faith cure.

Miracles are laughed at be a nation that r-reads thirty millyon newspapers a day an' supports Wall sthreet.

All men are br-rave in comp'ny an' cow'rds alone, but some shows it clearer thin others.

I'd like to tell me frind Tiddy that they'se a strenuse life an' a sthrenuseless life.

I'd like to've been ar-round in th' times th' historical novelists writes about—but I wudden't like to be in th' life insurance business.

I wondher why porthrait painters look down on phrenologists.

Di-plomacy is a continyual game iv duck on th' rock—with France th' duck.

Whin we think we're makin' a gr-reat hit with th' wurruld we don't know what our own wives thinks iv us.