Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife by Marietta Holley (ereader with dictionary .TXT) 📕

the Column of July, accompanied by my pardner, Miss Meechim and Dorothy havin’ gone to a matinée, and Robert Strong havin’ took Tommy with him to see some interestin’ sight. And I had a large number of emotions as we stood there and thought of all the horrows that had took place there, and see way up on top of the lofty column the Genius of Liberty holdin’ in one hand the broken chains of captives and holdin’ up in her other hand the torch of liberty.

But I methought to myself she’s got to be careful, Liberty has, or that torch will light up more’n she wants it to. Liberty is sometimes spelt license in France and in our own country, but they don’ mean the same thing, no, indeed! We hung round there in that vicinity seein’ the different sights, and Josiah took it in his head that we should take our supper outdoors; he said he thought it would be real romantic, and I shouldn’t wonder if it wuz. ’Tennyrate, that is one of the sights of Paris to see the gayly dressed throngs happy as kings and queens, seemin’ly eatin’ outdoors. Lights shinin’ over ’em, gay talk and laughter and music sparklin’ about ’em.

Well, Josiah enjoyed the eppisode exceedingly, but it made it ruther late when we started back to the tarven through the brightly lighted streets and anon into a more deserted and quiet one, and on one of these last named we see a man, white-headed and bent in figger, walkin’ along before us, who seemed to be actin’ dretful queer. He would walk along for quite a spell, payin’ no attention to anybody seemin’ly, when all at once he would dart up clost to some young girl, and look sharp at her, and then slink back agin into his old gait.

Thinkses I is he crazy or is he some old fool that’s love 311 sick. But his actions didn’t seem to belong to either of the classes named. And finally right under a lamp post he stopped to foller with his eager eyes a graceful, slim young figger that turned down a cross street and we come face to face with him.

It wuz Elder Wessel––it wuz the figger I had seen at the morgue––but, oh, the change that had come over the poor creeter! Hair, white as snow; form, bowed down; wan, haggard face; eyes sunken; lookin’ at us with melancholy sombry gaze that didn’t seem to see anything. Josiah stepped up and held out his hand, and sez: “Elder, I’m glad to see you, how do you do? You don’t look very rugged.”

He didn’t notice Josiah’s hand no more than if it wuz moonshine. He looked at us with cold, onsmilin’, onseein’, mean, some like them same moonbeams fallin’ down on dark, troubled waters, and I hearn him mutter:

“I thought I had found her! Where is Lucia?” sez he.

The tears run down my face onbeknown to me, for oh the hunted, haunted look he wore! He wuz a portly, handsome man when we see him last, with red cheeks, iron-gray hair and whiskers and tall, erect figger. Now he had the look of a man who had kep’ stiddy company with Death, Disgrace, Agony and Fear––kep’ company with ’em so long that he wuz a stranger to anybody and everybody else.

He hurried away, sayin’ agin in them same heart-breakin’ axents: “Where is Lucia?”

Arvilly turned round and looked after him as he shambled off.

“Poor creeter!” sez she. Her keen eyes wuz full of tears, and I knowed she would never stir him up agin with the sharp harrer of her irony and sarcasm if she had ever so good a chance. Josiah took out his bandanna and blowed his nose hard. He’s tender-hearted. We knowed sunthin’ how he felt; wuzn’t we all, Dorothy, Miss Meechim, Arvilly, Robert Strong, Josiah and I always, always looking out for a dear little form that had been wrenched out of our arms and 312 hearts, not by death, no, by fur worse than death, by the two licensed Terrors whose black dretful shadders fall on every home in our land, dogs the steps of our best beloved ready to tear ’em away from Love and from Safety and Happiness.

From Paris we went to Berne. I hearn Josiah tellin’ Tommy: “It is called Burn, I spoze, because it got burnt down a number of times.”

But it hain’t so. It wuz named from Baren (bears), of which more anon. Robert Strong had been there, and he wanted Dorothy to see the scenery, which he said was sublime. Among the highest points of the Bernise Alps and the Jungfrau and the Matterhorn, which latter peak is from twelve to fourteen thousand feet high. Good land! What if I had to climb it! But I hadn’t, and took comfort in the thought. Deep, beautiful valleys are also in the Oberland, as the southern part of the Canton is called, the Plain of Interlaken being one of the most beautiful.

There are several railways that centre in Berne, and it stands at the crossroads to France and Germany. And though it is a Swiss city, it seemed much more like a German one, so Robert Strong said. The people, the signs, the streets, the hotels and all, he said, was far more like a German city than a Swiss one.

It is quite a handsome city of about fifty thousand inhabitants, with straight, wide streets and handsome houses, and one thing I liked first-rate, a little creek called the Gassel, has been made to run into the city, so little rivulets of water flow through some of the streets, and it supplies the fountains so they spray up in a noble way.

Josiah sez: “If Ury and I can turn the creek, Samantha, so it will run through the dooryard, you shall have a fountain right under your winder. Ury and I can rig up a statter for it out of stuns and mortar that will look first-rate. And I spoze,” sez he, “the Jonesvillians would love to see my linimen sculped on it, and it might be a comfort to you, if I should be took first.”

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“No, Josiah,” sez I, “not if you and Ury made it; it would only add to my agony.”

We had quite a good hotel. But I see the hired girl had made a mistake in makin’ up the bed. Mebby she wuz absent minded or lovesick; ’tennyrate she had put the feather bed top of us instead of under us.

As Josiah laid down under it he said words I wouldn’t have had Elder Minkley heard for a dollar bill, and it didn’t nigh cover his feet anyway. What to do I didn’t know, for it wuz late and I spozed the woman of the house had gone to bed and I didn’t want to roust her up. And I knew anyway it would mortify her dretfully to have her help make such a mistake. Good land! if Philury should do such a thing I should feel like a fool. So I had Josiah git up, still talkin’ language onfit for a deacon and a perfessor, and I put the bed where it belonged, spread the sheets over it smooth, put my warm woollen shawl and our railway rug on it and made a splendid bed.

The food wuz quite good, though sassage and cheese wuz too much in evidence, and beer and pipes and bears. I always kinder spleened aginst bears and wuz afraid on ’em and wouldn’t take one for a present, but it beat all how much they seem to think of bears there, namin’ the place for ’em to start with, and they have bears carved and painted on most everything. Bears spout water out of their mouths in the fountains, they have dead ones in their museums, and they have a big bear den down by the river where great live ones can growl and act all they want to. And bears show off in a wonderful clock tower they have built way back in the ’leventh century. I never see Tommy so delighted with anything hardly as he wuz with that, and Josiah too. Every hour a procession of bears come out, led, I believe, by a rooster who claps his wings and crows, and then they walk round a old man with a hour glass who strikes the hour on a bell. But the bears lead the programmy and bow and strut round and act.

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The manufactures of Berne are mostly cloth, silk and cotton, straw hats, etc. It has a great university with seventy-three professors. Good land! if each one on ’em knowed a little and would teach it they ort to keep a first-rate school.

And it also uses a Referendum. Arvilly disputed me when I spoke on’t; she thought it wuz sunthin’ agin ’em, but it hain’t. It helps the people. If they don’t like a law after it passes the legislature they have a chance to vote on it. And it keeps ’em from bein’ fooled by politicians and dishonest statesmen. I approve on’t and Arvilly did when she got more acquainted with the idee. I wish America would get hold of one, and I guess she will when she gits round to it, though Arvilly don’t believe they will. Sez she: “Our statesmen ruther spend their time votin’ on the length of women’s hat-pins, and discuss what a peril they are to manhood.” Sez she: “Why don’t they vote agin men’s suspenders? Everybody knows a man could hang a woman with ’em, hang ’em right up on the bed post.” Sez Arvilly: “Why not vote that men shall fasten their trousers to their vests with hook and eyes, they are so much less dangerous?” But I don’t spoze they ever will. It is a job to fasten your skirt to your waist with ’em. But they are real safe and I wish men would adopt ’em. But don’t spoze they will, they hate to be bothered so.

Another thing I liked first-rate there and Arvilly did, the corporation of the city is so rich it furnishes fuel for its citizens free. Arvilly sez:

“Catch the rich corporations of our American cities furnishin’ fuel for even the poorest. No; it would let ’em burn up their old chairs or bedsteads first, or freeze.”

“Well,” sez I, “mebby our country will take pattern of the best of all other countries when she gits round to it; she’s been pretty busy lately.”

And Arvilly sez, “She had better hurry up before her poor are all starved or friz; but as it is,” sez she, “her statesmen are votin’ on wimmen’s hat-pins whilst Justice lays flat 315 with her stillyards on top of her and Pity and Mercy have wep’ themselves sick.”

America is good, her charities are almost boundless, but I think some as Arvilly that Charity hain’t so likely lookin’ or actin’ as Justice, and Robert Strong thinks so too. But it is a great problem what to do for the best in this case. Mebby Solomon knew enough to grapple with the question, but Josiah don’t, nor Arvilly, though she thinks she duz. Robert Strong is gittin’ one answer to the hard conundrum of life, and Ernest White is figurin’ it out successful. And lots of other good and earnest souls all over the world are workin’ away at the sum with their own slates and pencils. But oh, the time is long! One needs the patience of the Sphinx to set and see it go on, to labor and to wait. But God knows the answer to the problem; in His own good time He will reveal it, as the reward of constant labor, tireless patience, trust and prayer. But to resoom forwards: One of the picturesque features of the older part of Berne is that the houses are built up on an arcade under which runs a footpath.

But its great feature is the enchantin’ seenery. It stands on a peninsula and the view on mountain and river is most beautiful.

From Berne we went direct to the city of Milan in Italy. And we found that it wuz a beautiful city eight or nine milds round, I should judge, with very handsome houses, the cathedral bein’ the cap sheaf. I’d had a picture on’t on my settin’ room wall for years, framed with pine cones and had spent hours, I spoze, from first to last lookin’ at it, but hadn’t no more idee of its size and beauty than a Hottentot has of ice water and soap stuns.

From every point of view it is perfect, front side, back side, outside and inside; specially beautiful are the gorgeous stained glass winders in the altar.

Robert Strong and Dorothy and all the rest of the party but Josiah and me and Tommy clumb up to the biggest tower, three hundred and thirty or forty feet, and they said 316 the view