Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife by Marietta Holley (ereader with dictionary .TXT) 📕

a dead failure. In place of a palace, Cousin John Richard could not call even the poor ruff that sheltered him his own. Instead of a retinue of servants, Cousin John Richard worked diligently with his hands to earn his daily bread; instead of stocks and bonds bringing him rich revenues, he had only the title deeds of the house of many mansions, and Mudd-Weakdew would not have accepted any deeds unless signed before a notary and sealed with our govermunt stamp. No wealth, no luxuries, not hardly the necessities of life had Cousin John Richard, whilst Mudd-Weakdew wuz steeped in the atmosphere of wealth and grandeur for which he had lived and toiled, yet Cousin John Richard wuz blissfully happy and 399 content, Mudd-Weakdew unspeakably and hopelessly wretched. Both had follored their goles and wuz settin’ on ’em, but, oh! how different they wuz––how different to themselves and them about ’em. Inspiration and help flowed from Cousin John Richard’s personality like the warm sunshine of a clear June day, or the perfume from a rare lily, brightening, sweetening and uplifting all about him, whilst from Mudd-Weakdew fell a dark shadder made up of gloom, discontent, envy, hatred. How different they wuz, how different they wuz! And Robert Strong’s gole, how different his wuz from Mudd-Weakdew’s. I methought of what Miss Meechim had said to me deplorin’ly, how different Robert Strong wuz. Yes, indeed! both on ’em had had fur different goles and pursued ’em. The onselfish road Robert Strong trod wuz leadin’ him to the house of happiness––Mudd-Weakdew’s to the house of pain and despair.

I dare presoom to say I eppisoded more’n a hour to myself about it and to Josiah, ’tennyrate Josiah got real huffy and acted, and sez in a pitiful axent:

“Samantha, I’m willin’ to hear preachin’ twice a week and can set under it like a man, but it comes kinder tough to have moralizin’ and preachin’ brung into the bosom of the family and liable to be drizzled out onto me week days, and any time, night or day.”

His axent wuz extremely hopeless and pitiful. He felt a good deal as I did in the matter, but it is a man’s nater to be more impatient and not bear the yoke so well as wimmen do. Wimmen are more used to galdin’ things than men be; I don’t blame Josiah.

I wuz glad enough to see in Vienna the stately monument to Maria Theresa, Empress of Austria Hungary. To see all about her and below her the noble forms of Wisdom, Strength, Justice and Religion. And men a-hoss back and sages and soldiers and to see her a-settin’ so calm and benine on top of the hull caboodle, it gin me proud sensations and made me glad I wuz a woman, but not haughty.

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Maria Theresa wuz a likely woman; I wish she could have lived to have me encourage her by tellin’ her what I thought on her. I would said to her:

“Marie,” sez I, “you did well with what you had to do with, your pardner left a sight for you to tend to, as pardners will if they see their consort is willing to bear the brunt. You went through no end of trials and tribulations, wars and revolutions, but come off victorious. You helped the poor a sight, abolished torture, sot up schoolhouses, fenced in the roarin’ Papal bulls so they couldn’t break out and rare round so much, you helped on the industries of your country, looked out for the best interests of your husband and son, as pardners and mothers will and looked and acted like a perfect lady through it all in war and peace.”

It would done Marie sights of good to hearn my talk, but it wuzn’t to be. But this high, noble monument wuz some consolation to her if she could look down and see it, as I spoze she can and duz. And partly on her ma’s account I visited the tomb of her girl, Marie Christina. It wuz designed by Canova and wuz the most beautiful tomb I ever see. Nine beautiful figgers with heads bowed down in grief wuz bearin’ garlands of flowers to strew above the beloved head, Youth, Middle Age and Old Age all bearin’ their different garlands and seemin’ to feel real bad, even the mighty angel who guarded the open door of the tomb had his head bowed in sorrow. Way up above wuz the face of the beautiful Arch Duchess carved in marble, with angels and cherubs surroundin’ her. Josiah said if he wuz able he would love to rare such a one up for Tirzah Ann. Sez he, “She could enjoy it durin’ her life and if she should pass away before us it would come handy.” He thought the features of the Arch Duchess favored Tirzah Ann, but I couldn’t see it.

Albert Fountain is a noble-lookin’ structure rared up by Francis Joseph in 1869. We also visited the Academy of Fine Arts, the conservatory of music, Museums of Arts 401 and Industries, the new Parliament and University buildings. The University building has one hundred and sixty thousand volumes and engravings and drawing enough to fill up an ordinary building, the collection of manuscripts is called the richest in the world.

The teachers in the University of Vienna number two hundred and ten, good land! enough to make a good school in themselves if anybody knowed enough to teach ’em. In the Chamber of Treasures in the Imperial Palace we see the largest emerald known to the world and the Florentine Diamond, 133 karats big, though Josiah said when I told him on’t that wuz nothin’ to carrots he’d raised in his garden, but I sot him right. There wuz more than one hundred and forty thousand coins and all sorts of minerals and a great quantity of bronzes, gems and cameos.

I hated to give in, but I had to. I see cameos there that went fur beyend mine. We visited gymnasiums, public schools, institutes, colleges and more noble and interestin’ edifices than I could tell you jest the names on unless I took loads of time.

The principal articles of manufacture in Vienna are jewelry, clocks, kid gloves, musical instruments, shawls, silks and velvets. It is supplied with water that comes forty milds in an aqueduct and gits there as fresh and sparklin’ as if it hadn’t travelled a mild.

I felt that I ort to go and see the Emperor, Francis Joseph, while I wuz in Vienna. I knowed that if my Josiah had been took from my heart and presence as his Elizabeth had been and he’d come to Jonesville to see the sights and look round some as I wuz doin’ and hadn’t come to condole with me I should feel dretful hurt.

Just to think on’t, the sweet, beautiful woman that he had loved ever sence she wuz a little girl in short dresses and would marry in spite of all opposition, and who had been his confidant and closest earthly friend for so many long years a settin’ up there by his side on that hard peak with 402 the kodaks of the world aimed at ’em, and rejoiced in his joy and sympathized in his sorrow, to have her struck down so sudden and to once by the hand of a assassin. Why, if it had been my Josiah I couldn’t have bore up as Fritz had; it seems to me as if I never could have held my head up at all after it.

But Fritz had bore up under his sorrow all these years and carryin’ it along he bore also the load of his people’s cares and perplexities and tried to do the best he could with what he had to do with, which is a golden rule to frame and hang up over our soul’s mantletry piece and study from day to day and which is the very best a human creeter can do in Jonesville or Austria.

I sot store by him. One thing specially I always liked in him wuz his humility and reverence, as showed by the foot-washing in the palace. I’d hearn about that, and wanted to see it myself, like a dog, but it wuz too late, for that takes place in April. But Robert Strong wuz here once in April, and witnessed that ceremony.

It is a old custom, comin’ from so fur back that nobody knows what monarch it wuz and whose feet they wuz, and whether they needed washin’ or not. But I presoom they wuz middlin’ clean; they be now anyway, and the Emperor doesn’t do it for bathin’ purposes or to help corns, but it is a religious custom. Robert explained it all out to me so plain that I almost seemed to see it myself.

Robert said that the day he wuz here there wuz twelve old men, some on ’em ninety years old, seated at a table set out handsome with good dishes, napkins, etc., and the table all covered with rose leaves, and under it brown linen cushions for the old feet to rest on.

The old men had on black clothes, short breeches, black silk stockings, and wide white turned-down collars. They wuz seated by grand court officials, the oldest man seated at the head of the table. Anon the Emperor come in in full uniform, with a train of nobility and big court officers with 403 him, all in gorgeous attire, and the Emperor took his place at the head of the table as a waiter to wait on the oldest old man. And then follered twelve palace officials, each bearin’ a black tray that had four dishes of good food on it, and they took their places opposite the old men who set on one side of the table, some as they do in pictures of the Last Supper or some as we have some times in cleanin’ house and things tore up and we all set on one side of the table.

Then all bein’ ready, the Emperor took the food off the tray opposite the oldest man, and waited on him jest as polite as Philury waits on me when we have company. The Crown Prince waited on the one next in age, and each of the old men wuz waited on by some grand duke or other member of the Austrian nobility.

After the trays wuz emptied, the palace guard, in full uniform, come in with twelve more trays, and so on till four courses wuz served, the last consistin’ of a sweet dish, fruit, cheese, almonds, etc. After this, and it wuz done quite quick, for not a mouthful wuz eaten, a large, gold tray wuz brought in with a gold pitcher on it and a large napkin, and the Emperor knelt and poured a little water on the old man’s foot, and wiped it on the napkin. It wuzn’t very dirty, I spoze; his folks had tended to that, and got off the worst of it. But he had had his foot washed by a Emperor, and I spoze he felt his oats more or less, as the sayin’ is in rural districts, though he orten’t to, seein’ it wuz a religious ceremony to inculcate humility, and the old man ort to felt it too, as well as the Emperor. But howsumever, the hull twelve on ’em had their feet washed and wiped by nobility. And that bein’ done, the Emperor, Crown Prince, and all the arch dukes, etc., havin’ riz up from their knees, the Grand Chamberlain poured some water on the Emperor’s hands, who dried ’em on a napkin, and all the rest of the nobility done the same.

Then a court officer come in bringin’ twelve black bags of money containing each thirty silver florins. They had long black cords attached, and the Emperor fastened the 404 bags around the necks of each of the old men by putting the cords round their necks. Then the Emperor and nobility left the hall.

All durin’ this ceremony a priest and twenty assistants read and intoned beautiful extracts from the Gospel, showin’ how the Lord washed the disciples’ feet. Then all the food and plates and foot cushions wuz packed into baskets and sent to the houses of these old men, and I wuz glad to hear that, for I thought how they must have felt to have such tasty food put before ’em and took away agin for good and all.

When the Empress wuz alive she did the same to twelve old wimmen––good creetur! Wuzn’t it discouragin’ to wash the feet of the poorer classes every year of her life, and then be shot down by one on ’em? How Fritz must have felt a-thinkin’ on’t! If he’d been revengeful, I felt that he might have gin their feet a real vicious rub––kinder dug into ’em real savage; but he didn’t; he washed and wiped ’em honorable, from what I’ve hearn.

I always thought that that wuz a