Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife by Marietta Holley (ereader with dictionary .TXT) 📕

Miss Meechim wanted to visit Carlsbad, the great Bohemian watering place. She said it wuz a genteel spot and very genteel folks went there to drink the water and take the mud baths. And so we took a trip there from Vienna. It is only a twelve-hours’ journey by rail. Our road lay along the valley of the Danube, and seemed to be situated in a sort of a valley or low ground, till we reached the frontiers of Bohemia, but it wuz all interestin’ to us, for novelty is as refreshin’ to older ones as to children. Cheerful, clean-lookin’ little villages wuz scattered along the way, flourishin’ orchards and long fields of grass and grain, and not a fence or hedge to break the peaceful beauty of the picture.

Anon we entered a mountainous country with blue lakes and forests of tall pine trees and knowed we had entered Bohemia. We see gypsy tents anon or oftener, for what are gypsies but true Bohemians, wanderers at will, hither and yon.

Josiah mentioned the idee of our leavin’ the train for an hour or two and havin’ our fortunes told by a real gypsy, but I told him sotey vosey that my fortune come along about as fast as I wuz ready for it, and I didn’t know as I wanted to pay these swarthy creeters for lyin’ to me. And he didn’t contend for it, for which I wuz thankful.

All along the way we see shrines with the faces of our Lord and Mary and Joseph lookin’ out of ’em. And anon a little hamlet would appear, a meetin’-house with five or six dwellin’ houses clustered round it like a teacher in the midst of half a dozen scholars. Flowering shrubs and fruit 415 trees almost hid the houses of the quiet little hamlets, and then we’d go by a village with forty or fifty houses, and as I told Arvilly, in all these little places so remote from Jonesville and its advantages, the tragedy of life wuz goin’ on just as it did in bigger places.

And she said she wondered if they drinked; sez she, “If they do there is tragedies enough goin’ on.”

Bohemia is a country of orchards. I should say there was fruit enough there so every man, woman and child there could have bushels and bushels of it to spare after they had eat their fill. Even along the highways the bending trees wuz loaded with fruit. A good plan, too, and I told Josiah I would love to introduce it into Jonesville. Sez I, “How good it would be to have the toil-worn wayfarers rest under the shady branches and refresh themselves with good fruit.”

And he said “He didn’t want to toll any more tramps into Jonesville than there wuz already.”

And I spoze they would mebby find it too handy to have all the good fruit they wanted hangin’ down over their heads as they tramped along––I d’no but it would keep ’em from workin’ and earnin’ their fruit.

Anon the good car would whirl us from a peaceful country into mountain scenery, huge ledges of rock would take the places of the bending fruit trees, and then jest as we got used to that we would be whirled out agin, and see a peaceful-lookin’ little hamlet and long, quiet fields of green.

In the harvest fields we see a sight that made me sad and forebode, though it seemed to give Josiah intense satisfaction. We see as many agin wimmen in the harvest field as we did men, and in Carlsbad we see young girls carryin’ brick and mortar to the workmen who wuz buildin’ houses. I thought as I looked out on the harvest fields and see wimmen doin’ all the hard work of raisin’ grain and then havin’ to cook it after it wuz made into flour and breakast food it didn’t seem right to me, it seemed as if they wuz doin’ more than their part. But I spozed the men wuz off to the wars fightin’ 416 and gittin’ killed to satisfy some other man’s ambition, or settlin’ some other men’s quarrels.

Josiah sez, smilin’ happily, “Wouldn’t it look uneek to see Philury mowin’ in our oat and wheat fields, and you and Sister Bobbett rakin’ after and loadin’ grain and runnin’ the thrashin’ machine?”

“Yes,” sez I, “when I foller a thrashin’ machine, Josiah Allen, or load a hay rack it will look uneeker than will ever take place on this planet, I can tell you to once.”

But Arvilly sez, “Don’t be too sure, Josiah Allen’s wife; with three wars bein’ precipitated on our country durin’ one administration, and the conquered contented regions havin’ to be surrounded by our soldiers and fit all the time to keep ’em from laughin’ themselves to death, you don’t know how soon all of our men will be drafted into the army and we wimmen have to do all the farm work.”

“Yes,” sez Josiah, “that is so, and you would be a crackin’ good hand to pitch on a load of hay or mow away, you are so tall.”

“And you,” sez she with a defiant mean, “would be a good hand to put in front of the battle field; you’re so short, the balls might not hit you the first round.”

She put a powerful emphasis on the “might not,” and Josiah looked real agitated, and I sez:

“Such talk is onprofitable, and I should advise you, Josiah, to use your man’s influence to try to make peace for the country’s good, instead of wars for the profit of Trusts, Ambition, etc., and you can escape the cannon’s mouth, and Arvilly keep on sellin’ books instead of ploughin’ and mowin’.”

Robert Strong and Dorothy enjoyed Carlsbad the best that ever wuz. I don’t think they sot so much store by the water as they did the long mountain walks. Everybody here becomes a mountain climber. The doctors here agree that this exercise is a great means of cure, and they make the climbing easy and delightful. There are over thirty miles 417 of good roads over the mountains and around Carlsbad, and as you climb upwards anon or even oftener you come to pretty little pavilions where you can rest and look off onto the delightful scenery, and every little while you’ll come to a place where you can git good refreshments to refresh you.

The Sprudel, or Bubbling Well, bubbles over in a stream of almost boiling hot water five or six inches in diameter. It is so hot that you can’t handle the mugs it is served in with your naked hand, you hold it by a napkin and have to take it a little sip at