Karma by Diane Godfrey-Doherty (ebook reader macos .TXT) 📕

my mind. She is all powerful over me and I’m only twelve. She must be at least sixteen. I bet she’s not so tough against someone her own age and size. That realization just capped off the pot of boiling anger going on inside me. I shot back loud and strong right at that moment. You’re not so tough, I pushed. I raised my hand up to her shoulder to give her a little shove. You’re nothing but a big ugly bully. A second gust of air filled my lungs and I shouted out, you think you are so tough picking on someone smaller and younger than you. I bet if you were up against someone your own age and size you’d be scared shitless, wouldn’t you? As I was yelling back at her my body began to move forward. I don’t know where I was getting the courage from, or where I was even going with it. But I knew I just couldn’t stop and let her get me. She began to retreat, moving away from me as I pressed on. I didn’t even recognize myself. It was as if I had stepped outside myself and was watching some mysterious strength pour inside, and I was letting it out without any control. I was fixed on her, my eyes full of anger and all I wanted to do was to hit her and make her bleed just as she had made me many years ago. I didn’t want to think about what I was doing. If I did, I would have fallen to pieces right there. The angry person who took over me, scared me more that this girl. I must have looked really scary because as I approached her with my exploding anger she began to retreat. I could see she was thinking about running. During all this I forgot about the boy who was with her. Neb. He was sitting on the curb when I first approached them. I couldn’t even bring him into focus at that moment. I was so fixed on this girl. In a split second I was about to lunge at her and rip her face off, I could see it so clearly in my mind. Then suddenly I was face down on the cold wet ground, my back began to scream in pain. All my anger shocked away and the other Karma, the angry uncontrollable Karma, was gone. That Karma vanished in a fraction of a second. One sharp hit was all it took to shatter the strength and courage I had somehow gained. The pain ran like a spider up my back and hit the back of my head hard.

Then everything went black.

I don’t think at that moment I was conscious, I couldn’t feel the pain I just felt a moment ago. Was I dreaming? Was I dead? Then I could make out the shape of a person in the distance down the pathway. The vision was fuzzy but I was sure it was a person. My head was heavy and I felt like a baseball bat hit me. I was still lying on the ground, face down in a puddle. I could feel the wetness on my face when the wind blew. I wanted to lift my head to look at the figure that was coming towards me. I hoped it was my mother, but I had no strength and my head would not move. The figure came closer in a haze and my vision went black again.
Hello Annabel, a sweet voice said. I’m your mother. I could not see her face when she spoke I could only hear the softness in her voice. I wandered who Annabel was. That wasn’t me. Annabel is the name I gave you when you were born. The image of her came to my mind. She was very tall, and she wore a thin cream colored blouse that showed her deep chocolate brown skin underneath. Her hair was dark black, short and very curly. The tips of each curl looked as if they glowed. She moved without a sound as she came towards me. My eyes opened to meet hers; she was so close I could smell her scent. It smelt like rose water. Her skin looked so soft and creamy. She was beautiful. The most beautiful dark color skin person I have ever seen. You are my child, Annabel. I have missed you so much my sweet child, she continued. I couldn’t stop staring at her as she spoke. Who was this person? Is she real, or am I dreaming?
Annabel, I am your mother. Then as suddenly as she was there, she was gone. The reality of where I was and what had happened smashed against my face. And it hurt! I lifted myself slowly to my knees and waited until the ground stopped spinning. I tripped over my feet until I got to the fence which ran alongside the pathway to my house. The fence came in handy to keep me from falling as I got through the pathway and out to the street where I could see my house in the distance.

Chapter 13


“Why does this keep happening to you? Matthew hollered. What is wrong with those kids? Mom why haven’t you done something about this? Matthew was angry, and he was taking it out on anyone who could hear. I know he wanted to run right out that door and find those kids as soon as he saw my face. Matthew kept ranting and taking his anger out on anyone who was around him. When, Dad got home, Matthew when straight to him. He didn’t even wait for Dad to remove his coat before he started in on the story of my encounter. After telling Dad all about it he asked, “what are you going to do about it Dad?” Dad seemed to be in shock or something because he didn’t say a word. But I could see the look on his face went blank once he heard all that Matthew had to say. Then his eyes turned to me. One look at me and he opened his arms and bent down. I knew the message he was sending me and I took it with force. I ran as fast as I could into his arms, for the safety and security that they provided. As soon as I got there the tears began to flow. By the time he pulled back to look at me my face was all wet from tears.
But my heart was warm.
I returned to school the very next day. I didn’t need a day or so to get myself together like the last time. This time I was really mad. Even though I cried to my Dad and my Momma could see the pain on my face. I wouldn’t let those kids get away with this. They would not have that much control over me anymore. It was time to show everyone what people do to other people, and show them that it is wrong. I was determined, as I walked into class with my black eye and bruised back. Mr. Doucette had a look of shock cover his face when he first saw me come through the classroom door. Ms. Lea, he said. What? What in the world? He looked me over, in search of blood I assumed. When he found none, he asked me, “when did this happen to you?” I went up to him and with all the courage I could find and I began to tell him the whole story. I would not let one single tear drop, even though I could feel the quivers in my belly. I was not going to let bullies get the better of me anymore, I kept telling myself, over and over again.
Mr. Doucette stood and stared at me, and didn’t say another word. This was fine with me because I really didn’t want to talk about it at all. As the kids rushed in the classroom and went about their business of putting their coats away and getting books out from their packsacks, Mr. Doucette and I continued to look at each other. And for some reason I can’t explain, the unspoken words between us was all so clear. He knew he knew what had happened to me. Maybe not the details but he seemed to be able to understand, with just a look. He came towards me and gently touched my shoulder and said “take your seat Ms Lea”. I just walked to my desk without a word. Once everyone was settled in their seats Mr. Doucette began.
Good Morning ladies and gentleman, I hope you are happy and ready for another day of learning. He still spoke slowly so that the children who couldn’t keep up with him through his thick accent could try to understand even a little bit. Could you all look to the front of the class and read this morning’s quote. I had already read it, as soon as I got to my desk and noticed it on the board. “After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb”
Let’s talk a little about what that statement means to you, Mr. Doucette began. I would like to know what Mr. Hamilton thinks. Mr. Hamilton? Could you comment? “I…a… I guess it means that you have to climb a hill and then a lot more”? Billy sounded unsure of his answer, but some of the other kids thought he was funny and began to giggle. “No…. Mr. Hamilton I do not believe that was Nelson Mandela’s meaning behind this saying”. “Would anyone else like to give it a try”? “Ms. Lea”? I wasn’t too sure on my answer because I hadn’t had time to think about the quote of the day. But I gave it a shot. “Does it mean that even though you climb one hill, there are always more?” I asked. “That is somewhat correct, Ms. Lea”. “I believe Nelson Mandela was trying to say that even though you have accomplished something great once in your life time, there will be many more great accomplishments to experience.” “So what we can learn from this is once we reach our goal, create a new one”.
Ok everyone, I was going to start this morning’s lesson with math, however I feel we should combine a little geography and history this morning and I am going to share with you some of the history of the country where I was born and lived for 21 years of my life. Some of my families still live there still.
Have any of you heard of South Africa? he asked . Most of us shook our heads and said no. Well let me show you on this map where it is, he continued. As he lowered the map hanging on the wall he took a long wooden pointer off the shelf and pointed to a very large country. Then he pointed to the south part of it. This is South Africa. This is the area in which my family lives. “Today my mother and sisters live there and keep the homestead going”. “What’s a homestead?” Emma Fitzgerald asked. “A homestead is property and a house that a family will call their own, their home.” “Usually parents