Entitled by cama seeney (the beginning after the end novel read .txt) 📕

I led in bed not sleeping, mostly just feeling self pitty. If I wanted to go to the toilet I had to use a wheelchair or get assistance. I wasn't aloud to stand on my own yet, my baby bump was disappearing day by day. It just looked like belly fat now, the doctor said it would go soon. I didn't carry full term so I didn't get as big as I was going to.

I sat and stared out the window watching the light raise. Some time during the night my mother totally intoxicated walked, stumbled, into my room stinking of jack Daniels. I sighed as she giggled and tripped landing on my bed. 'Why didn't you tell mummy bear you were pregnant?' She asked pouting, I remained silent she doesn't know I don't talk yet. I tried eairler to say thankyou, it was almost a knee jerk reaction and found I couldn't utter a word. I half smiled sadly in thinks.

'You killed my grandson. Your a shit mother.' She giggled and hiccuped. 'Shitter than I ever was.' She continued looking happy, guilty conscience. 'Your a selfish kid you know. Always have been, you didn't need to murder two people to get attention Scarlet.' She told me spitting my name. 'Do me a favour and die. You should have been dead not them.' She told me flinging a stanly knife at me. I almost laughed. Well on a good day, she's clearly charming as fuck. I shoved the knife into my bag, who knew it could come in handy. I hid it in my socks as soon as she left.

Which she did alittle after her little yell, did she not understand I was immune to her? Yes my sons death was my fault, as was Teddy's but I didn't purposely kill them. No apparently asking your kid to die was what she did to get off. It made me feel sick, I sat there with a passive face staring out the window not uttering a sound.

I am broken.

A smiling nurse came into my room a little while, she watched me eat half my food before asking if I was done. Her platinum dyed hair made me queezy, it didn't smell right. I held my breath as she helped me change into a pair of black skinny jeans, a tight dark green thermal tee shirt I used to run in and a black tee-shirt with a ying and yang symbol in the middle. I didn't have many clothes, they all fit into a duffel bag. Sad really.

I was sat in a wheelchair, my legs had began shaking madly, and pushed down into a elevator. The silence was deathening. I wanted to put my hands to my ears and scream, but that wouldn't help me get out of this place now would it. The smell of death followed us into the violently loud lobby. I was place into a black British taxi and driven away. I didn't speak to the driver, I didn't want to. He put my wheelchair away and left me alone to drive. I pulled my phone out of my bag along with a pair of head phones and ignored the all to loud world.

We drove out of the small town back into my smaller one, we followed the forest further than I had ever before. Searching for an even more secluded place. The country side was creepy, it was old. Cars were trucks, no new stores, no McDonalds, no Primark and taking my headphones off no sound. Instantly I liked it here. He pulled up at a gas station, I got out the car and walked into the garage. I did my business and on wobbly feet grabbed a diet coke. Paying for it was nice the cashier didn't speak to me filling the silence with unnecessary babble.

I nearly fell twice on the walk back but I made it, the impassive driver was waiting patiently in his car facing forward. Half an hour later we were out of the small town and in the forest again. He stopped at what looked like a long drive way and turned. I sat up and looked around, the gate was old and rusted. He talked to someone on the intercom, I think he told them my name - immediately the gates began creeping open. Creepily enough the rust coated gates were silent. The bushes surrounding the building wernt trimmed but left to from freely.

The drive up the driveway took about five minuets, the stones under the wheels were driving me crazy. I was seconds away from screaming in frustration before the house came into view.  The imprint of plants growing up the wall was marked in black, the trees looked dull instead of green. Suddenly the clouds opened up and began raining fiercely on me, the teens quietly doing gardening work screamed and ran into the house. My eyes followed the old style bricks of the house, they were an off white grey-ish colour. The windows were huge, the whole place was huge and eerie. I stood and watched at the driver unpacked my bag and handed me crutches, they hurt my side but the pain calmed me.

I looked straight up and saw a big semi-circle of a room, the paint was peeling but I could  see the piano from here, my fingers twitched with anticipation. It looked like an old dance studio, my eyes followed the window until I was nearly at the old wooden door, it suddenly flew open to reveal a very pissed off guy wearing all back minus his red fingerless gloves, I looked into his eyes and saw nothing, the were a steal grey colour, the grey in his eyes looked like fractured glass fit together odly with different shades of blue and green, they revealed little other than the obvious anger.

He shoved passed me gently, making sure I didn't fall over before sprinting out into the rain, my eyes followed his dark head, his almost black hair looked darker in the rain. The stubble on his strong jaw, his cheekbones. He looked as broken as I.

'Logan get back here!' An elderly woman shouted looking exhausted, she paused sliding in the door way, the floor being wet causing her to slide into me. With an 'omph' I fell to my knees one crutch in the air and the other infront of me, my white knuckled hand holding it tightly.

I struggled to my feet, and walked in the door way she left open forme, she grabbed the bag off the taxi guy after paying him. I nodded my thanks and followed her into what looked like a cost room. Coats, shoes and other outside equitment was strewn hazidly across the room.  'Becuse of your predicament we decided it would be easier setting you into one of the down stairs rooms, you'll be the only one down her minus the nurses office but they mostly stick to their office, staff lounge or kitechen.' She informened me as I wobbly removed my shoes. Nodding my understanding followed her out of the room, she led me into what she called the front lounge, it was all creams and pastal colours. The cream couches smelled of cleaning products. I scrunched up my nose and looked at the reasonably sized tv, there was a cabinet full of movies and magazine.

Across the hall was a lengthy kitchen, it had a door which she told me led to the dining room. She kitchen was clean and tidy. There was a teenager girl with long brown hair peeling potatoes the woman greeted her as Samantha 'how many times Nikki its Sam' the girl huffed and smiled at me. I tried to smile back but it wasn't very convincing. Sam looked at me with understanding, her black ripped jeans and white top covered with a leather jacket screamed leave me alone. Next she led me to a downstairs bathroom, it was small, clean and had a small shower I knew id be using. Next she led me to the edge of the next room across from the tv room and bathroom 'this is the laundry room, each resident has a turn at cooking, cleaning and doing laundry.' she told me, next she led me to an old plain room, it was an office with a younger version of herself smiling at me. Her blond hair matched what appeared to be her mothers grey hair, same nose and light blue eyes.

'I'm resident nurse here, if you have any questions or need a chat come to me.' She told me before I nodded and walked to the next room. The corridor finished and the only room faced the back of the house. The room was wider than it was long, the big window seat and window facing the forest made up for it  though. The bed was a little away from the door, facing the window. It was a double far to big for me, with wardrobe next to the window, it was full of black uniform similar to Logans. Nikki said her farewell and informed me that I would be called for dinner in an hour, I threw my bag next to my bed and threw myself down on it. Ignoring the big, full length mirror on the wardrobe.

I couldn't stand to see myself yet, instead I pushed my crutches off my bed and curled into a ball and slept.

I uncurled myself wondering what woke me, my hands subconsciously going straight to my stomach. I sat up in utter amazement, it was smaller again somehow, that's when the pain started. It began like a whole body ache, my stomach felt empty and numb no that's the wrong word - hollow. My back almost burned, my arms and legs felt heavy, my head pounded to an imaginary beat. And my heart, it felt like someone was splitting it apart, ripping it in two for their own enjoyment. I felt nothing but bitter and angry, the silence of sleep quickly broken, shattered much like myself.

It was  fully dark now, I could see the trees swaying like monsters in the short distance. I almost cackled at the thought of it, I stoped my laugh when I realised I was doing it silently. I began wondering if the monster had taken my voicebox away too...

What a theory , I thought to myself. Looking at the clock I saw it was 1 am, I tried to go back to sleep but the hollowness in my stomach kept me awake. Sighing I sat up and grabbed a single crutch not wanting to make too much noise. I walked silently down to the kitchen, looking under the office door no light was on, sighing I continued walking. The whole place was eerily silent minus the click, click, click and almost silent thud of my foot and crutch.

I walked into the plain, clean kitchen not really paying attention when the smell of cooked meat made my stomach growl, it was so loud I thought it would wake someone up. Sighing, smell deeply and follow the smell of meat to the microwave, on a plate are three hamburgers. I pulled the plate out