Sister+Brother=Trouble by Frank Murphy (good non fiction books to read .TXT) đź“•
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A funny tale about a boy growing up in early 1970s California!
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- Author: Frank Murphy
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eyes.
Frank walked out the back door. Kathleen was pouring vinegar into the green bucket with one hand. With her other hand she was holding the hose, running water into the bucket. She looked like a mad scientist.
“Hey!” Kathleen said. “You ready?”
“I guess,” Frank said.
“Okay. Let’s go see if Leon is out and about,” Kathleen said.
“What’s that mean?” Frank asked.
“It means he’s out in the yard doing stuff – like eating bugs!” Kathleen said.
“Oh. Okay,” Frank said.
They walked halfway to the kumquat tree along the fence. Frank ran his fingers along the fence. It felt a little bit cold.
“The fence is cold. Is that a bad sign?” asked Frank.
“No. It’s just early, silly. In the morning metal gets cold. That’s all. What? Are you nervous?” she asked.
“Yes…no...maybe...I dunno,” Frank said.
“Don’t be. This is gonna work. And we’re gonna teach that goofy kid to not eat bugs anymore. It’s that operating conditioner thing dad told you about,” Kathleen said.
“It’s oper-ANT, not oper-ATE. Dad told me,” Frank said, feeling proud again that he knew something his sister didn’t.
“Whatever,” she said. “He’s gonna be a conditioner!”
Even though Frank knew it was oper-ANT, he was a little confused about the word “conditioner”. He thought that stuff went with shampoo. He knew his mom was always buying shampoo and conditioner. Frank had questions. But he knew Kathleen had only one thing on her mind. So he stopped talking about it all.
Chapter 10
Kathleen’s Experiment (Looking for Leon)
Kathleen and Frank didn’t have to wait long walking along the fence. Leon appeared, but this time he was wearing jeans and no shirt. There was something else, though.
“Holy Moly, Guacamole!” Kathleen said. “Look at him!”
“Wow!” Frank said.
Leon was standing up against a tree poking at the bark with a stick.
“What’s he doing?” Frank asked.
“He’s digging in the tree, probably looking for more bugs. But do you see what he’s wearing?”
“Yes! I think he’s wearing underwear over his jeans.” Frank said. Then Frank narrowed his eyes to see more clearly. “Kathleen, I think he’s wearing Batman underwear over his jeans!”
“He is!” she said, giggling.
Just then Leon’s little brother Kyle came running out of the house. Kyle was about three. He was wearing pajamas – the kind that have a built-in footie at the end of each leg. The ones with a rubbery bottom - like on a pair of slippers. And he was carrying a yellow, plastic baseball bat.
Kathleen and Frank were amazed. They watched Kyle run toward Leon. He was screaming and waving the bat in circles. He looked wild and angry.
“My Batman underwear!!! MY Batman underwear!!!!” Kyle screamed.
Leon looked up from his stick and the tree. At that moment Frank noticed that Leon was actually wearing big goggles. They were huge on Leon’s face.
They looked like a scientist’s goggles – the clear plastic kind.
Frank and Kathleen watched Kyle tackle Leon. Leon tumbled to the ground. Kyle got on top of Leon. They wrestled a little bit. Kyle growled like an angry dog. Then he stood up and pulled the Batman underwear from Leon’s squirming legs. But all Frank could think about was how lucky he was that Leon was somehow wearing goggles on this day. He thought it was because of carrying his lucky Hot Wheel. And all he was hoping for was that Leon’s nasty little brother wouldn’t take the goggles away from Leon too.
Leon stood up, brushed the dirt off of his jeans and immediately went back to mining the tree for bugs. The giant goggles were still on his face. Frank slid his hand into his pocket and stroked his lucky Hot Wheel.
Chapter 11
Kathleen’s Experiment
The next step in Kathleen’s big experiment was to get Frank up into the tree quietly without Leon the insect miner noticing. Frank and Kathleen tiptoed their way to the kumquat tree.
Frank whispered, “How am I gonna climb the tree and hold the bucket?”
“I already thought of that. There’s a pole right here with a hook on it. I got it from Grandpa’s tool shed. I don’t know what it’s for, but it will work. I’ll reach the bucket up to you with the pole,” Kathleen said.
Frank was impressed that Kathleen was so prepared. He thought that she must’ve gotten up really early. He also thought that Kathleen really, really wanted to torture Leon.
Frank carefully climbed the tree, branch by branch. He reached high enough to be out view. No one standing on the ground would see him. Leon would have had to look up to see him.
Kathleen attached the bucket’s handle to the hook at the end of the pole. She stretched her arms out and gently moved it toward Frank’s waiting hands. He got it.
“Okay. I’m gonna call Bugboy over now. You ready?” Kathleen asked.
Frank nodded.
“Leon!!!” Kathleen called out.
No response. Leon just kept pushing the stick into the bark.
“LEONNNNN!” Kathleen called out louder.
Leon looked up and turned around. “Hey!” he said.
“You gotta come over here. There’s a really weird bug on the fence,” Kathleen said.
“Bug?????” Leon said. His eyes almost popped out and banged against his goggle lenses. “Here… I… come!!!!”
Leon dropped his stick and sprinted to the fence. “Where? Where??”
“Right up there,” Kathleen said. She pointed to the top of the kumquat tree.
This was the moment when Frank was supposed to pour the potion all over Leon’s face. It was like slow motion. Frank watched Leon’s head turn up toward him. He could see Leon’s eyes wide open behind the goggles. He could feel his sister’s glaring face hinting to him to dump the bucket, and dump it now…
...Frank couldn’t do it. He stopped. He leaned forward just a little bit. Then one of his sneakers lost its grip against a branch. It slipped. Frank lost hold of the bucket. It tumbled out of his hands. The potion rushed out, into the air, over the branches and against Leon’s waiting face. SPLASH! Frank stumbled and crashed against branches. But he never hit the ground. Somehow he ended up clutching onto the fence. He looked like Spiderman on a wall.
“Cool!” Leon said. “That was amazing! You’re like an acrobat or something!”
Kathleen looked at Frank and said, “Get down!”
Frank jumped down and looked at his feet and legs and arms, checking to see that he was still in one piece. Then he noticed Leon’s goggles were beaded and wet with the potion. The goggles had protected Leon’s eyes.
“Hey, why were you watering your tree with vinegar water?” Leon asked. “I can taste it. It’s delicious.”
Kathleen looked at Frank. Then she looked at Leon. She shook her head and mumbled, “Boys…” Then she walked away.
“Where’s that bug? Leon asked.
“Ummm…I guess it flew away,” Frank said, watching Kathleen walk away.
“It had wings? So cool!” Leon said, licking his lips.
Frank wasn’t sure Leon licked his lips because he was still tasting the vinegar water or because he was imagining a snack with wings. But thinking about Leon eating a bug with wings made Frank’s belly feel sick. And thinking about the way he ruined Kathleen’s experiment made it worse. He immediately felt the sensation of almost throwing up in his mouth.
Chapter 12
Stuck with Leon
The next day Kathleen went to play at a friend’s house. Frank was a little sad and a little lonely.
He started making mud pies in the backyard, but it just wasn’t the same. Next, he raced some of his Hot Wheels on the driveway. That was boring too. He walked up to his grandparents’ house. But his grandpa was sitting on his chair snoring away.
Frank decided to ride his bike around the driveway. (It was new and he was just learning without training wheels.) He practiced turning. He practiced trying to pop a “wheelie”. (It never worked for him!) He practiced skidding on the cement driveway. Kathleen taught him to hit the brakes really fast and hard. This made the back tire skid along the ground. It left really long, really cool looking black skid marks on the ground. Frank loved this. But Kathleen wasn’t there to see his new skids. Frank got lonely again.
“Hey! Watcha doin?”
Frank looked over to the kumquat tree. Leon was standing on the other side of the fence. He was wearing those big goggles again. But he wasn’t wearing any kind of underwear on the outside that Frank could see. His clothes looked ordinary. He had a white t-shirt on and blue sweatpants – the kind that are tight around the ankles. But his feet were a different story. He was wearing rubber flip-flops. They were blue too. One of them had a big rubber flower on the top. It was a white daisy with a yellow middle. Frank thought maybe they belonged to one of his sisters. But he didn’t ask.
“Hey! Watcha doin?” Leon asked again.
“Oh, nothin’,” said Frank.
“It doesn’t look like nothing. It looks really cool,” Leon said. He lifted his goggles off his eyes and onto his head. Somehow he looked older and more serious to Frank. (At least from the legs up!)
“What looks cool?” Frank asked.
“Those skid marks. They’re super long!”
“Really?” Frank said. He felt proud. Then he wished Kathleen was there to see them.
Leon put his goggles back on and started scanning his eyes and face all along the fence.
“Whatcha doin?” Frank copied the way Leon asked him a few moments earlier.
“I’m looking for that bug your sister told me about. The one with the wings,” Leon said.
Frank thought Leon might be hungry. And he thought about asking him exactly that question, but he didn’t. He thought it might be rude. So he just asked, “Why?”
“Why? Because it’s always fascinating to find an insect with wings. Insect flight is not that common. Insect flight can be very extremely fast, maneuverable and versatile. Some insects can even fly backward, hover and perform other amazing feats of flight. Wings are an adaptation that – ”
“Ummmm…Leon, it’s okay. I get it,” Frank interrupted.
“Hey! You hear that?” Leon said, looking toward Lemon Avenue.
“Sorta,” Frank said.
In the distance the boys could hear something. It sounded like a recorded song coming from a big speaker. And it was. It was a song they both knew from commercials on T.V. It was the song: “I Wish I Were an Oscar Mayer Weiner”.
“Hot dogs!!” Leon screamed.
They both started running down their driveways to Lemon Avenue. Frank was racing. He looked
Frank walked out the back door. Kathleen was pouring vinegar into the green bucket with one hand. With her other hand she was holding the hose, running water into the bucket. She looked like a mad scientist.
“Hey!” Kathleen said. “You ready?”
“I guess,” Frank said.
“Okay. Let’s go see if Leon is out and about,” Kathleen said.
“What’s that mean?” Frank asked.
“It means he’s out in the yard doing stuff – like eating bugs!” Kathleen said.
“Oh. Okay,” Frank said.
They walked halfway to the kumquat tree along the fence. Frank ran his fingers along the fence. It felt a little bit cold.
“The fence is cold. Is that a bad sign?” asked Frank.
“No. It’s just early, silly. In the morning metal gets cold. That’s all. What? Are you nervous?” she asked.
“Yes…no...maybe...I dunno,” Frank said.
“Don’t be. This is gonna work. And we’re gonna teach that goofy kid to not eat bugs anymore. It’s that operating conditioner thing dad told you about,” Kathleen said.
“It’s oper-ANT, not oper-ATE. Dad told me,” Frank said, feeling proud again that he knew something his sister didn’t.
“Whatever,” she said. “He’s gonna be a conditioner!”
Even though Frank knew it was oper-ANT, he was a little confused about the word “conditioner”. He thought that stuff went with shampoo. He knew his mom was always buying shampoo and conditioner. Frank had questions. But he knew Kathleen had only one thing on her mind. So he stopped talking about it all.
Chapter 10
Kathleen’s Experiment (Looking for Leon)
Kathleen and Frank didn’t have to wait long walking along the fence. Leon appeared, but this time he was wearing jeans and no shirt. There was something else, though.
“Holy Moly, Guacamole!” Kathleen said. “Look at him!”
“Wow!” Frank said.
Leon was standing up against a tree poking at the bark with a stick.
“What’s he doing?” Frank asked.
“He’s digging in the tree, probably looking for more bugs. But do you see what he’s wearing?”
“Yes! I think he’s wearing underwear over his jeans.” Frank said. Then Frank narrowed his eyes to see more clearly. “Kathleen, I think he’s wearing Batman underwear over his jeans!”
“He is!” she said, giggling.
Just then Leon’s little brother Kyle came running out of the house. Kyle was about three. He was wearing pajamas – the kind that have a built-in footie at the end of each leg. The ones with a rubbery bottom - like on a pair of slippers. And he was carrying a yellow, plastic baseball bat.
Kathleen and Frank were amazed. They watched Kyle run toward Leon. He was screaming and waving the bat in circles. He looked wild and angry.
“My Batman underwear!!! MY Batman underwear!!!!” Kyle screamed.
Leon looked up from his stick and the tree. At that moment Frank noticed that Leon was actually wearing big goggles. They were huge on Leon’s face.
They looked like a scientist’s goggles – the clear plastic kind.
Frank and Kathleen watched Kyle tackle Leon. Leon tumbled to the ground. Kyle got on top of Leon. They wrestled a little bit. Kyle growled like an angry dog. Then he stood up and pulled the Batman underwear from Leon’s squirming legs. But all Frank could think about was how lucky he was that Leon was somehow wearing goggles on this day. He thought it was because of carrying his lucky Hot Wheel. And all he was hoping for was that Leon’s nasty little brother wouldn’t take the goggles away from Leon too.
Leon stood up, brushed the dirt off of his jeans and immediately went back to mining the tree for bugs. The giant goggles were still on his face. Frank slid his hand into his pocket and stroked his lucky Hot Wheel.
Chapter 11
Kathleen’s Experiment
The next step in Kathleen’s big experiment was to get Frank up into the tree quietly without Leon the insect miner noticing. Frank and Kathleen tiptoed their way to the kumquat tree.
Frank whispered, “How am I gonna climb the tree and hold the bucket?”
“I already thought of that. There’s a pole right here with a hook on it. I got it from Grandpa’s tool shed. I don’t know what it’s for, but it will work. I’ll reach the bucket up to you with the pole,” Kathleen said.
Frank was impressed that Kathleen was so prepared. He thought that she must’ve gotten up really early. He also thought that Kathleen really, really wanted to torture Leon.
Frank carefully climbed the tree, branch by branch. He reached high enough to be out view. No one standing on the ground would see him. Leon would have had to look up to see him.
Kathleen attached the bucket’s handle to the hook at the end of the pole. She stretched her arms out and gently moved it toward Frank’s waiting hands. He got it.
“Okay. I’m gonna call Bugboy over now. You ready?” Kathleen asked.
Frank nodded.
“Leon!!!” Kathleen called out.
No response. Leon just kept pushing the stick into the bark.
“LEONNNNN!” Kathleen called out louder.
Leon looked up and turned around. “Hey!” he said.
“You gotta come over here. There’s a really weird bug on the fence,” Kathleen said.
“Bug?????” Leon said. His eyes almost popped out and banged against his goggle lenses. “Here… I… come!!!!”
Leon dropped his stick and sprinted to the fence. “Where? Where??”
“Right up there,” Kathleen said. She pointed to the top of the kumquat tree.
This was the moment when Frank was supposed to pour the potion all over Leon’s face. It was like slow motion. Frank watched Leon’s head turn up toward him. He could see Leon’s eyes wide open behind the goggles. He could feel his sister’s glaring face hinting to him to dump the bucket, and dump it now…
...Frank couldn’t do it. He stopped. He leaned forward just a little bit. Then one of his sneakers lost its grip against a branch. It slipped. Frank lost hold of the bucket. It tumbled out of his hands. The potion rushed out, into the air, over the branches and against Leon’s waiting face. SPLASH! Frank stumbled and crashed against branches. But he never hit the ground. Somehow he ended up clutching onto the fence. He looked like Spiderman on a wall.
“Cool!” Leon said. “That was amazing! You’re like an acrobat or something!”
Kathleen looked at Frank and said, “Get down!”
Frank jumped down and looked at his feet and legs and arms, checking to see that he was still in one piece. Then he noticed Leon’s goggles were beaded and wet with the potion. The goggles had protected Leon’s eyes.
“Hey, why were you watering your tree with vinegar water?” Leon asked. “I can taste it. It’s delicious.”
Kathleen looked at Frank. Then she looked at Leon. She shook her head and mumbled, “Boys…” Then she walked away.
“Where’s that bug? Leon asked.
“Ummm…I guess it flew away,” Frank said, watching Kathleen walk away.
“It had wings? So cool!” Leon said, licking his lips.
Frank wasn’t sure Leon licked his lips because he was still tasting the vinegar water or because he was imagining a snack with wings. But thinking about Leon eating a bug with wings made Frank’s belly feel sick. And thinking about the way he ruined Kathleen’s experiment made it worse. He immediately felt the sensation of almost throwing up in his mouth.
Chapter 12
Stuck with Leon
The next day Kathleen went to play at a friend’s house. Frank was a little sad and a little lonely.
He started making mud pies in the backyard, but it just wasn’t the same. Next, he raced some of his Hot Wheels on the driveway. That was boring too. He walked up to his grandparents’ house. But his grandpa was sitting on his chair snoring away.
Frank decided to ride his bike around the driveway. (It was new and he was just learning without training wheels.) He practiced turning. He practiced trying to pop a “wheelie”. (It never worked for him!) He practiced skidding on the cement driveway. Kathleen taught him to hit the brakes really fast and hard. This made the back tire skid along the ground. It left really long, really cool looking black skid marks on the ground. Frank loved this. But Kathleen wasn’t there to see his new skids. Frank got lonely again.
“Hey! Watcha doin?”
Frank looked over to the kumquat tree. Leon was standing on the other side of the fence. He was wearing those big goggles again. But he wasn’t wearing any kind of underwear on the outside that Frank could see. His clothes looked ordinary. He had a white t-shirt on and blue sweatpants – the kind that are tight around the ankles. But his feet were a different story. He was wearing rubber flip-flops. They were blue too. One of them had a big rubber flower on the top. It was a white daisy with a yellow middle. Frank thought maybe they belonged to one of his sisters. But he didn’t ask.
“Hey! Watcha doin?” Leon asked again.
“Oh, nothin’,” said Frank.
“It doesn’t look like nothing. It looks really cool,” Leon said. He lifted his goggles off his eyes and onto his head. Somehow he looked older and more serious to Frank. (At least from the legs up!)
“What looks cool?” Frank asked.
“Those skid marks. They’re super long!”
“Really?” Frank said. He felt proud. Then he wished Kathleen was there to see them.
Leon put his goggles back on and started scanning his eyes and face all along the fence.
“Whatcha doin?” Frank copied the way Leon asked him a few moments earlier.
“I’m looking for that bug your sister told me about. The one with the wings,” Leon said.
Frank thought Leon might be hungry. And he thought about asking him exactly that question, but he didn’t. He thought it might be rude. So he just asked, “Why?”
“Why? Because it’s always fascinating to find an insect with wings. Insect flight is not that common. Insect flight can be very extremely fast, maneuverable and versatile. Some insects can even fly backward, hover and perform other amazing feats of flight. Wings are an adaptation that – ”
“Ummmm…Leon, it’s okay. I get it,” Frank interrupted.
“Hey! You hear that?” Leon said, looking toward Lemon Avenue.
“Sorta,” Frank said.
In the distance the boys could hear something. It sounded like a recorded song coming from a big speaker. And it was. It was a song they both knew from commercials on T.V. It was the song: “I Wish I Were an Oscar Mayer Weiner”.
“Hot dogs!!” Leon screamed.
They both started running down their driveways to Lemon Avenue. Frank was racing. He looked
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