It's Your Baby by Belén Domínguez (book recommendations for teens .TXT) 📕

Because I am indeed lying to you.

I don't know why am I protecting him, I just don't Alec to get mad and go looking for Finn, ready to kick his ass.

“I'm not” I said, grabbing his hand. “Everything is fine. . .”

“Alright, I will trust you. I just don't like seeing you like this” he replied and caressed the top of my hand with his thumb. “I came here to try to cheer you up. How about if we go see a movie?” he offered with hope in his eyes. A movie sounded great, but going out will just make feel sadder. I have to decline.

“I just don't feel like—”

“Ah-ah-ah don't even think about declining my offer. I am sick and tired of seeing you with the face of someone-ran-over-my-puppy. We are going out even if I have to drag you myself” he grinned. I couldn't help the smile that crept to my face. But not any type of smile—it was the real kind.

“Fine” I agreed. “But you're paying”

“Deal” he said and stood up. I grabbed my purse and put inside my phone and my wallet, just in case of course. We walked downstairs and Alec opened the front door for me. But before going out all the way, something caught my attention, something that was plastered in our front door. I exchanged some looks with Alec, who was just as confused as I was. It was a piece of paper with a red rose attached to it.

“Why don't you go to the car? I'll be there in a sec” I said. He was a moment without doing any type of action, just curious as to what was that piece of paper. After a moment, he finally turned on his heels and left. I gulped the lump in my throat and approached the note. I grabbed the rose and smelled it, smiling at how sweet it smells.

I slowly unfolded the piece of paper and read it.  

Gwen,

You have no idea how sorry I am. I am a fuck up, and I don't expect you to actually keep this, let alone read it. But if by any chance you do, just know that I will not stop fighting. For you, I would do anything. I didn't lie to you when I said that you were mine.

XX Finn.

And that my friends. . .Is how you mess up with someone's head.

I stayed there for a moment, completely frozen on my spot. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know whether I should crumble the note and burn it, or keep it and cherish it. I stared at the rise once more and exhaled its smell.

My brother pressing on the horn made me et out of my trance. I turned around and signal him with my index finger to give a minute. I went back inside and rushed to my room. I placed the little note and the rose neatly on my bed. I will decide what to do with it when I get home.

How is it possible that he always finds another way to make my heart melt? I want to say I hate him, but the words don't come out. My stupid heart doesn't allow me to.

I went back outside and into the passenger's seat, receiving a puzzled look from Alec, who's tapping his long fingers in the dashboard, looking at me expectantly.

“So?” he finally spoke. His words urgent. “What was that about?”

I remembered that he doesn't need to know that Finn and I aren't on speaking terms. “Umm, it was Finn's. He can–he can be very romantic” I forced a smiled, to reassure him that it wasn't anything important.

Although it was. His words touched me in a way that I can't help but feel even more stupid for actually feeling happy.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?

I think he bought it, since he didn't keep pushing on the subject, and finally turned on the engine.

The rest of the trip to the movie theater was spend in complete silence.

• • •

“The movie was awesome!” my brother said, grinning like a happy child. I smiled at him, I love it when he gets excited. His dimples show when he does that ear-to-ear smile and his voice gets all adorably high pitch.

“I know right? The best part was when they were fighting while the plane was nearly crashing down. The slow motion that they did before pulling the trigger was amazing!” I commented. For literally just an hour and a half, my mind was occupied, I felt at ease. I seriously didn't want the movie to end.

After talking and walking for a little bit, we decided to eat at McDonald's in the food court. While Alec ordered for us, I went to look for a table. As I was waiting, I went to my camera roll and checked at pictures I took with Finn.

I know, bad idea. . .But I can't help it. I was thinking in whether or not to delete them. I clicked on one picture. It was just him and I, hugging. I smiled at the memory. It feels like a decade ago, but it was just a couple months ago. I doubtfully clicked on the trash can bin, where the option of deleting the picture permanently popped up. I bit my lower lip, trying to decide. But just when I made up my mind and was about to delete it, Alec arrived with our food.

I think I am going crazy. Because I actually felt relieved when he showed up. . .

“Quarter Pounder for the Princess” he said, making a bow jokingly as he placed the burger in front of me. I couldn't help the giggle that's escaped my lips.

We kept talking about the movie, he couldn't stop smiling at me every time we would stay quiet.

“Why are you smiling?” I asked.

“Because” he started, eating one of his fries, “I missed this. . .Us, hanging out together, you laughing, the simple fact that we're not fighting anymore. I hate fighting with you. You're my princess, Gwen” he said. I grabbed his hand and caressed the top of it with my thumb.

“I love you, Alec” I said. He put his free hand over my hand that his holding his other hand.

“I love you too, Gwen” he said.

I am so lucky to have him in my life. Every time we would argue that would tear me apart and it was driving me insane. He's my big brother for God's sake. Without him I would be lost right now. Only he knows how to make me smile and forget about my problems.

“Thank you” I said and found myself sighing in relief. He knitted his eyebrows together in confusion.

“For what?” he asked.

“For making me forget about my worries. . .I've been so stressed lately, so thank you for helping me clear my head”

“Of course. I know that this pregnancy thing has been very tough for you lately, especially now that is almost time. Also considering the fact that I've been an ass through all these months” he replied, looking down at the palm of his hands. He bit his bottom lip and held a face with regret. I grabbed his hand tightly, which made him look at me in the eyes.

“You were just worried about me. . .And, even though you got suffocating at times, that just shows how much you love me”

That made him smile widely. I felt happy that I hung out with him. Ever since my argument with Finn, I finally felt relaxed, without much dreadful thoughts. It was just him and I. Brother and sister.

“Thank you too”

“Why?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

“For being in my life”

When we finished eating, we went directly home, not one of us speaking a word. We didn't have to, honestly. The silence was nice. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable; it was very nice.

When he parked the car and killed the engine, he locked gazes with me. “Thanks again, for you know. . .”

He smiles, “I know”

We didn't have to say anything else. We have that way of understanding each other with one simple look. We got out of the car and into the house, where we saw our parents drinking coffee. 

“Hey” my mom smiled at us. I waved at her and walked towards the stairs. I heard my father asking if I was okay, but Alec didn't answer. I went to my room and walked towards my bed, where the rose and note where still there.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I re-read the piece of paper over and over again. I am so pissed at him. I mean, how dare he do these things? Does he have the stupid idea that his cute gestures will make me forget what he did?

Him doing these things just confuses me even more. I want to hate him. I want him to vanish away—to forget that I exist. But at the same time I want him here, close to me, hugging me, telling me that he never wants to leave me. I want him to be mine. . .But if he is going to care about his fame, then no thank you. If he's always going to put a bunch of strangers before me, then he can go to hell. That's what I hate the most about this entire situation. . .I hate him so much because I can't help but loving him despite the fact that he lied to me throughout all these months.

Does that even make sense?

I don't think so. But I can't help it.

My heart is in constant war about what I should do. My mind and energy are drained. I am exhausted and sick of crying, of fighting.

This baby caused it.

But it's not his/her fault. I've said that from the very beginning.

How can an innocent child, be responsible for the mistake done by two irresponsible teenagers? 

I would never blame anyone other than myself. I can blame Finn for like a billion things, but I should take part of the fault too.

I talked to him that night at the bar.

I went to his Hotel room.

I kissed him first.

I allowed him to take it too damn far. . .

I am the stupid girl who got her heart broken.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought of it—as I thought about Finn and how I shouldn't be this miserable about something that I should've known. It was too obvious. But, I was too damn innocent to notice. I