First Steps by Xicano Sol (classic books for 12 year olds .txt) 📕

He walked in with the shyness of a kindergartner on his first day of school… “I heard they offer gay services here, am I at the right place?” I replied, “Yes you are, how can I help you?” He went on to say that he just needed someone to talk to about his situation. He was in his early 30's, married with three children, and he was in the process of coming out. “My wife knows. We sleep in separate bedrooms now but we’re trying to work it out for the sake of the kids. I don’t have any gay friends and this is all a little new to me, but it’s long overdue” he said as we made our way to my office.

I told him to feel free to talk and make himself comfortable as he took his seat. “I work in a very homophobic environment- a lot of machismo. I don’t think I can come out at work, at least not yet. There’s just a lot going on in my mind” and then he gave a nervous laugh and asked if I knew of other gay Latinos. I explained that we are quite numerous but scattered and at times a little difficult to find. I congratulated him on taking the steps necessary to reach out and relate to others. He said that although he accepted his sexuality he wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with being a part of the gay lifestyle he saw portrayed in the media. I shared with him that our community is as diverse as any other, despite the lack of visibility, and that wherever he decided to settle would mainly be up to him.

He began to look a little relieved and as his comfort grew, so did his story. A story like so many others I’ve crossed paths with… a story that rarely gets told. At the end of the session he said he felt like he was coming out late in life and that he had lost out on many years by not being true to himself. I smiled and said, “We are each on our own path set to our own pace. Each step you took during those years was necessary to get you to this moment. You have today to be you and there are many that never reach that point.”

Publication Date: 11-22-2011

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