The OOBS by CC Raz (most motivational books .TXT) 📕

I have tons of paint on me. :( My clothes, my hands, my arms, my legs... TONS in my hair. Nice. I'll take a shower in a little while. Until then... it'll just have to deal with it.

Tomorrow, I'm going to ride horses with Hay Bailes and Crazy Amy. I'm excited. :) It's been FOREVER since I was on a horse. Almost 3 years. CWAZY!!!!

I don't want easy
I want crazy
You with me baby
Let's be crazaaaay

Love that song too. :) Groovey Moses there are some AWESOME songs out there. :)

Well.. I woke up this morning planning to do a ton of stuff and none of it is done. So I'm gonna go do that now.
I love you, Gwen. And I'm still here. Won't be going anywhere. I'm just waiting for your return to the good ol' hick town. :) You'll love the 110 degree weather. Groovey Moses what's it going to be like in August?
I'll see you soon. :) Love yaaaaaaa!

Still praying, still staying strong (and feeling MUCH better right now. After 8 hours of distraction, I feel like I can deal with this much better. :) ).
Love,
CC Raz

6/8

Long after the thrill of livin' is gone.

:) Love music.

AND HEY!!! Little missy sent some letters! Good. :) Jacob texted us both (his username is HoneyMuffinMac, by the way) and told us that he got the letters.

I will finish this letter later.m :( My dog is FREAKING out and I need to go play with him for a little while so he calms down.

Love,
CC Raz

I'm back now. :) So... I met the famous Crazy Amy. And oh, she's crazy. She had her chaps on... so she just went right through bushes. She kept like... veering off of the trail and going straight through bushes. She would say, "You guys can go around the bushes that I go through since you don't have chaps." Well... My horse didn't really like the idea of not going right behind her horse. At all. So he just went right through the bushes. All kinds of scrapes on my arm now. :)
    She also.. I know that there were other things that she did. I just can't remember them. :( Dang. It was fun though.
   I fell off the horse. Bailey says she just saw him shake but.. I was thrown forward. It was alright though. I fell in the nice, soft sand. So it was fine. It was hilarious. Haha and Bailey was off her horse REAL quick. And then as soon as she knew that I was okay she just busted up laughing. And I don't blame her. It was funny. I'm just glad that I didn't fall into horse poop. That would have been GROSS.
    OH! Bailey asked her how she finds granola bars without nuts (I guess Amy is very allergic to nuts) and so she said, "Nutrigrain bars." And Bailey... I guess she forgot what that was, because she just kinda gave her this blank look, but then recovered when she remembered what it was. But then a couple minutes later we were sitting down eating snacks and Amy pulls out a NutriGrain bar and looks at Bailey, COMPLETELY serious, and says, "This," *kinda holds it up a little higher, as if to bask in the glory that is a NutriGrain* "is a NutriGrain bar." Bailey kinda looked at me, then looked back at her and informed her that she's sheltered, but not that sheltered. It was funny. :)
    She likes I Love Lucy, though. :) And The Andy Griffith Show. Two GREAT shows, IMNERHO.

Jenny Jenny, you're the girl for me. You don't know me but you make me so happy.    :) JENNY I GOT YOUR NUMBER! I NEED TO MAKE YOU MINE!!! I dunno. I just like this song. I've been listening to music like... NONSTOP lately. But whatever.

I gotta go. Carlos is here and he needs help with some weird errand. So I'll talk to you later. :)

Excited to read your letter tomorrow.
Still praying, still staying strong
Love,
CC Raz

6/9

I worked for the first time in weeks today. I literally haven't worked since before school got out. Cool, huh? I thought so too. But it's alright I work 3 times in the next two weeks. So we'll be okay. I promise.

Jacob came by today to give e the letters that you wrote. I read the one for all three of us... It just made me sad. And feel like... I'm doing everything wrong. I don't know if these decisions that I'm making... I don't know AT ALL if they're the ones that I should be making. I just... don't know. I don't want to spend the rest of this message responding to your letter. I can do that later, I guess. But right now, I'll just say you were WAAAY off on the amount of time it takes to get a letter from Colorado toArizona. 2 1/2 days? Try 8. Not that that's your fault. But... you know. It kinda made me laugh.
    But that probably means that we won't be sending you anything while you're there. Because... I dunno. It wouldn't make it in time. And then your aunt would get it and... I just don't know if it would make your mom even madder, or what (I can just picture the conversation. It's like in cartoons when people are on the phone and there's a big diagonal line across the screen. Your aunt goes, "So, Cassidy's letter to Gwen got here today. Do you want me to send it back to you, so Gwen can have it?" Heather: Um... Cassidy never wrote her a letter. What's the address?" And then se teas it open and reads it to your mom and... yeah. I dunno.). But... I dunno. I feel like we should try. But is it worth it?

My body hurts. When I fell off the horse, he steppd on my ankle. It's not bad, but if I bend it sideways (which I sometimes do without thinking), it hurts. And my back hurts (duh). And my shouulder hurts if I have to move my arm behind my back at all. Tying and untying my apron at work today was tough. VERY tough.

I just realized that I have Mahala's notebook. Haven't written in it at all. :( Poor Mahala. But I don't know what the heck I would write about! I would just want to talk about your situation. But I don't know if that's a good idea. I've just been telling people (when they ask) that you're in Colorado visiting your aunt. But... like I can't think of anything else that I would write to Mahala about. Everything else seems so... trivial. You know? Oh well. I'll figure something out.

I've had a good day. FINALLY got to sort of sleep in. Don't get to tomorrow, though. :( Oh well. I hope your day was good. You probably went to meeting, since it's Sunday. I bet you enjoyed that. Meeting always cheers you up, makes you feel better. :)

Gosh it's cold in this house. I'm gonna go turn the air off. My hands are seriouly ice cold. Not. Cool. Jake had the AC down all the way to 68. Watchtower farms is wrong with him? That's going to drive the electricity bill WAY up.

I think that... even once I know you're back home, I'll keep writing you emails each day. It just... makes me feel better. Like... maybe, eventually you'll see it and know that you're still on my mind. That I still love you and still care about you.

And she wiiiiiiiill be loved, and she wiiiiiiiiiiill be loved! Just like Pengwen. :)

Mom just sent me a text message saying that I need to go with Jake to hang out with his friends, because I need to stop being a recluse. Let's review the last couple weeks, and the next week to come.
   The week after school, I volunteered at a camp for kids. I got to get up and be at the school by 7:30 every morning. Over the weekend, I went to Phx with Mom, when I had the option of staying home. Then, I went and stayed the night at Josh and Amy's, when I could have just gone into Steph's room and watched TV by myself, which would have been the other option.
   Monday, I had practice from 9-5. Long time. Then I went to Nana's house and stayed the night.
   Tuesday, I went to Surprise with Bailey and Nana. For most of the afternoon. 
   Wednesday, more practice. From 9-5. Again, a long time. Then I went and stayed the night with my aunt.
   Thursday... I didn't really do anything. I don't think so, at least.
   Friday, I had practic from 1-8. And I spent the morning cleaning the house so that when Mom got back from Ken's, it wouldn't be a huge mess.
    Yesterday, I woke up and was at Bailey's house at 6:50, and we went and rode horses, then I just kinda hung out at Bailey's house until 3. I came home, showered, and then went with Carlos to go sell his system (THANK GOD. I hate that thing so much). And then Carlos and I hung out until 11 at night.
    Today, I went to work. I've been busy. And have gotten almost no sleep this week. And you haven't even been home since Thursday, so how the hell would you know if I'm being a recluse? gsekgherjoht

I haven't seen my kids since Thursday. :( I miss them. Terribly. :( 4 days is a long time to not see my kids.

So... I need your opinion on something. Mom wants to sort of move in with Ken again. Not officially, because she'll still have the apartment and all her furniture would be here. But she wants to enroll the kids at Arlington, and get a job out there. But I told her thatI'm not switching schools, so I'd still be here in Wickenburg. So.. she'd only be responsible for 2 kids. Jake's leaving and she's no longer responsible for Shelsey. And I'd be here. I'm not driving back and forth every single night. Not when I have the apartment, and my aunt, and Nana and Papa. No way. So she'd just be out there in No Man's Land, and I'd be here.