South Wind(Fiscle Part-3) by Norman Douglas (novels for students TXT) π
The Bishop Was Feeling Rather Sea-Sick. Confoundedly Sea-Sick, In Fact.
This Annoyed Him. For He Disapproved Of Sickness In Every Shape Or
Form. His Own State Of Body Was Far From Satisfactory At That Moment;
Africa--He Was Bishop Of Bampopo In The Equatorial Regions--Had Played
The Devil With His Lower Gastric Department And Made Him Almost An
Invalid; A Circumstance Of Which He Was Nowise Proud, Seeing That
Ill-Health Led To Inefficiency In All Walks Of Life. There Was Nothing
He Despised More Than Inefficiency. Well Or Ill, He Always Insisted On
Getting Through His Tasks In A Businesslike Fashion. That Was The Way
To Live, He Used To Say. Get Through With It. Be Perfect Of Your Kind,
Whatever That Kind May Be. Hence His Sneaking Fondness For The
Natives--They Were Such Fine, Healthy Animals.
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- Author: Norman Douglas
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Single One Of Several Hundred Offers Of Marriage Which Had Been More Or
Less Overtly Made To Him--To His Millions. He Loved The Sex, As A Whole;
But Distrusted Them Individually. He Thought He Knew Exactly What They
Were After. Pearl Necklaces And Things. He Was A Good American; Fond Of
Bestowing Pearl Necklaces. But He Liked To Give Them When, And To Whom,
He Fancied; He Meant To Be His Own Master And To Keep His Painfully
Gotten Millions Under His Own Control. All Of Which, Far From
Extinguishing, Actually Fostered That Queer Bachelor's Feeling Of
Reverential Awe For The Married State And Its Results. Every Form Of
Courage And Success Appealed To Van Koppen--None More Than The Reckless
Impetuosity Of A Man Who Speculates In Such A Delirious Lottery And
Sometimes Actually Draws A Prize. Such Had Been Count Caloveglia's
Portion. His Marriage Had Plainly Been A Love-Match; A Success; Its
Result, This Offspring--A Daughter Of Whom Any Father Might Be Proud.
Mr. Van Koppen Thoroughly Understood The Count's Position. These
Italians Need Dowries For Their Girls. Well, He Should Have One! What
Did It Signify? One Pearl Necklace The Less, For Some Operatic Charmer.
Not Worth Talking About. Among All H Is Various Benefactions, None Was
Ever Projected With A Lighter Heart, With More Sincere Pleasure. It
Made Him Glad To Be A Millionaire.
All The Details Had Been Settled. The Flutterby Was Sailing In A Day Or
Two. The Relic Would Be Brought On Board, At Dead Of Night, By The
Faithful Andrea, Who Would Return To The Count With A Cheque In His
Pocket. It Was A Considerable Sum; So Considerable That Caloveglia Had
Displayed Great Hesitation In Accepting It. But The Millionaire Pointed
Out That The Parties Must Be Guided By Sir Herbert's Opinion. What Was
The Good, He Asked, Of Employing A Specialist? Sir Herbert Street Had
Declared The Bronze To Be Priceless, Unique. His Employer, Therefore,
Insisted On Paying What The Other Had Called "An Adequate Amount, If
The Value Of Such A Work Of Art Can Be Expressed In Monetary Figures At
All." There Was Nothing More To Be Said. The Count Gave Way, With
Graceful Reluctance. A Sham Ancestry Having Been Manufactured For The
Masterpiece (It Was Proved To Come From Asia Minor) In Order To Elude
The Vigilance Of The Italian Government, The Locri Faun Could
Thereafter Be Freely Displayed To The American Public, And Sir Herbert
Street Was Probably Right In Foretelling That It Would Be The Show
Piece Of The Millionaire's Museum-Artists And Antiquarians Flocking To
See It From Every Part Of The World.
And Mr. Van Koppen, As He Drove Along, Was Thinking Of That Cheque; He
Was Converting The Dollars Into Francs. They Made Rather An Awkward
Sum. He Decided To Round It Off, If Only For The Sake Of Appearances; A
Further Reason For Not Sending The Cheque Till The Last Moment,
Together With A Carefully Worded Letter To Allay The Count's Scruples.
The Old Fellow Might Otherwise Return The Balance, In A Fit Of
Conscientiousness. Like Himself, Count Caloveglia Was Infernally, And
Very Properly, Punctilious--In Small Matters.
Yes, There Was Some Fun, At Times, In Being A Millionaire. Or A
Sculptor Either, For That Matter! For It Evidently Took Some Doing--A
Little Thing Like That Locri Faun. It Took Some Doing. And It Was Worth
Doing: That Was The Main Point. A Man Who Could Bamboozle Sir Herbert
Street--Such A Man Deserved To Be Supported. And What If The Truth
Ultimately Leaked Out? Had He Not Acted With The Best Intentions, Under
The Written Advice Of An Expert? Far From Feeling Uneasy, Mr. Van
Koppen Smiled At The Thought Of How His Millions, Backed By The Opinion
Of A Connoisseur Of International Reputation, Had Enabled Him To Play
Yet One More Trick Upon That Great Republic Whose Fathomless
Gullibility No One Had Ever Exploited To A Better Purpose Than
Himself. . . .
Mr. Eames Was Waiting For The Bishop, According To Appointment.
"How About Mrs. Meadows?" He At Once Began.
"She Was Out, Invisible. I Waited Nearly Two Hours And Then Lunched
With Count Caloveglia. By The Way, Have You Seen Anything Of Denis
Lately?"
"No. Why?"
"The Old Man Seemed To Be Concerned About Him. He Asked Me To Make
Enquiries. Van Koppen Thought That He Might Have Got Into Trouble With
Some Girl. But That Strikes Me As Very Unlikely. He May Be A Little
Homesick And Lonely, So Far From His Mother."
The Bibliographer Said:
"I Understand Mr. Van Koppen Is Quite An Authority On Girls. As To
Denis, I Saw Him Last--When Was It? Oh, Not So Very Long Ago. The Day
All Those Funny Things Happened; Those Portents. We Walked Up And Down
Together On This Very Terrace. Perhaps He Has Left The Island, Like
That Wretched Mineralogist Who Promised Me--Never Mind! He Seemed All
Right Then. A Little Depressed, Perhaps. Yes; A Little Depressed, No I
Come To Think Of It. But The Count Need Not Be Anxious. This Island Is
A Great Place For Scares And Rumours."
Mr. Heard Was Not Satisfied.
"Do You Believe The Influence Of Nepenthe Can Make Northern People
Irresponsible For Their Actions? Keith Does. Or How About The Sirocco?
Can It Upset Their Nerves To Such An Extent?"
"Not My Nerves. I Have Heard Of People Making Fools Of Themselves And
Then Blaming The Creator. Often! And Of Course, If One Begins To Brood
Over Accidentals Like The Weather, One Is Sure To Become A Lunatic
Sooner Or Later. Weather Was Not Made For That Purpose. If You Come To
Think Of It, How Few Days There Are When A Man Can Honestly Say That
The Weather Is Quite To His Liking! It Is Nearly Always Too Hot Or Too
Cold Or Too Wet Or Too Dry Or Too Windy. I Don't Trouble Myself About
Sirocco. Why Should Denis? He Is Not Nearly As Much Of A Fool As Many
People Look. And I Would Not Listen To Keith. He Moves Among
Hyperbolas."
Mr. Heard Felt Slightly Relieved. What A Sensible Fellow This Was; So
Matter-Of-Fact And Sure Of His Ground. The Ideal Scholar. Sirocco Did
Not Exist For Him. He Stood Aloof From Human Passions And Infirmities.
It Was Plain That The Bishop Had Never Heard That Story About The
Ballon Captif.
"For My Part," He Said, "I Am Beginning To Object To This South Wind. I
Never Felt It Worse Than To-Day. Phew! Stifling! One Can Hardly
Breathe. My Shirt Is Sticking To My Back. Suppose We Sit Down
Somewhere?"
They Found A Bench, In View Of The Sea And The Volcano. The Population
Moved Sedately Up And Down Before Their Eyes.
"Is It Always Like This?" Enquired Mr. Heard.
"Spring Is A Little Warmer Than Usual. Or Perhaps One Should Say That
Summer Has Begun Earlier. The Sirocco Is The Same, Year After Year,
Although There Is A Kind Of Conspiracy Among The Foreign Residents To
Say That It Happens To Be Worse Than Usual That Particular Season. It
Never Varies."
"What Does Your Perrelli Say On The Subject?"
Mr. Eames Glanced At Him Distrustfully.
"You Are Trying To Chaff Me," He Said. "Serves Me Right For Talking So
Much This Morning. I Am Afraid I Bored You Dreadfully."
The Bishop Wanted To Know.
"Then I May Tell You That Monsignor Perrelli Does Not So Much As
Mention The South Wind. He Names All The Others And Has Come Capital
Observations On The Anchorages Of The Island As Adapted To Different
Winds And Seasons. He Has Also Extracted From Old Chronicles The
Records Of The Great Storms Of 1136, 1342, 1373, 1460, And So On; But
Never Discloses The Fact That They All Blew From The South. He Says The
Air Is Pleasant, Tempered By Gentle Breezes From The Sea. The Word
Sirocco Does Not Occur In His Pages Save Once, When He Laments Its
Prevalence On The Mainland."
"The Old Humbug!"
A Little Shiver Ran Through Mr. Eames. Then He Observed, In A Suave
Tone Of Voice:
"He Was An Historian Of The Period, An Agreeable Gentleman Telling
Others Of His Kind What He Knows Will Be Of Interest To Them. That Is
What Makes His Work Attractive To Me: The Personality Of The Writer.
The Facts That He Records, Taken In Conjunction With Those He Slurs
Over Or Omits--They Give One Such An Insight Into Changing Human Nature!
You Can Construct The Character Of A Man And His Age Not Only From What
He Does And Says, But From What He Fails To Say And Do."
"Modern Historians Are Not Like That," Said Mr. Heard. "They Give You
The Truth To The Best Of Their Ability. It Is Rather Dry Reading
Sometimes. I Would Like To Borrow Your Perrelli For A Day Or Two, If
You Don't Mind."
"I'll Send It Round, Together With Some Old Prints Of This Island And
Modern Photographs. You Will Then See What I Mean. The Prints Are Not
Exactly True To Nature; These People Did Not Want To Be True To Nature.
And Yet They Convey A Better Impression Of The Place Than The Modern
Pictures. Perhaps There Are Two Truths: The Truth Of Fact And That Of
Suggestion. Perrelli Is Very Suggestive; Romance Grafted Upon
Erudition, And Blossoming Out Of It! So Imaginative! He Has A
Dissertation On The Fishes Of Nepenthe--It Reads Like A Poem And Is Yet
Full Of Practical Gastronomic Hints. Can You Picture Virgil
Collaborating With Apicius?"
The Bishop Said:
"Horace Might Have Got On Better With That Old Bon-Vivant."
"Horace Could Never Have Had A Hand In This Chapter. He Lacks The
Idealistic Tinge. He Could Never Have Written About Red Mullets As
Perrelli Writes When He Compares Their Skin To The Fiery Waves Of
Phelgethon, To The Mantle Of Rosy-Fingered Dawn, To The Blush Of A
Maiden Surprised In Her Bath, And Then Goes On To Tell You How To Cook
The B East In Thirty Different Ways And How To Spit Out The Bones In
The Most Noiseless, Genteel Fashion. That Is Perrelli--So Original, So
Leisurely. Always Himself! He Smiled As He Wrote; There Is Not A Shadow
Of Doubt About It. In Another Section, On The Fountains Of The Island,
He Deliberately Indulges In The Humour Of Some Old Mediaeval Schoolman.
Then There Is A Chapter On The Ecclesiastical Conditions Of The Place
Under Florizel The Fat--It Is Full Of Veiled Attacks On The Religious
Orders Of His Own Day; I Suspect It Got Him Into Trouble, That Chapter.
I Am Sorry To Say There Is A Good Deal Of Loose Talk Scattered About
His Pages. I Fear He Was Not Altogether A Pure-Minded Man. But I Cannot
Bring Myself To Despise Him. What Do You Think? Certain Problems Are
Always Cropping Up, Aren't They?"
Mr. Eames Suddenly Looked Quite Troubled.
"They Are," Replied The Bishop, Who Was Not In A Mood To Discuss Ethics
Just Then. "What Are You Going To Do About It?" He Added.
"About What?"
"This Poetic Omission On The Part Of Perrelli To Mention The Sirocco?"
"It Has Given Me A Deal Of Extra Work, I Can Assure You. I Have Had To
Go Into The Whole Question. I Have Tabulated No Less Than Fifty-Seven
Varieties Of Sirocco. Sailors' Words, Most Of Them; Together With A
Handful Of Antiquated Terms. Fifty-Seven Varieties. Twenty-Three
Thousand Words, Up To The Present, Dealing The With South Wind."
"That Is A Fair-Sized Foot-Note," Laughed The Bishop. "A Good Slice Of
A Book, I Should Call It."
"My Foot-Notes Are To Be Printed In Small Type. In Fact, I Am Thinking
Of Casting The Whole Of This Sirocco--Material Into An Appendix. Too
Much, You Think? Surely The Number Of Words Is Not Disproportionate To
The Subject? The South Wind Is A Good Slice Of Nepenthe, Is It Not? . . .
Look! That Cloud Has Made Up Its Mind To Come Our Way After All.
There Will Be Another Shower Of Ashes. Sirocco, You Observe. . . ."
The Terrace, Meanwhile, Had Become Crowded. Already The Evening Sun Was
Slightly Obscured Behind A Brown Haze. Ashes Were Traveling Fast. They
Began To Fall, Softly.
What Was To Be Done? Everybody, Mindful Of The Previous Experience, Was
In Favour Of A Second Procession To Take Place Immediately. The Parroco
Held The Same Opinion. For Form's Sake, However, He Dispatched A
Confidential Messenger To Learn The Views Of Mr. Parker, Who Was
Sitting Dejectedly In His Study With The Incomplete Financial Report
Still Staring Him In The Face. The Commissioner Pulled Himself Together
With Praiseworthy Alacrity And Gave His Whole Mind To The Question.
No. On Due Consideration, He Was Opposed To The Idea Of A Procession.
Having Enjoyed, In Various Continents And Various Capacities, Some
Experience Of Backing The Same Horse Twice Over, Mr. Parker Was Not In
Favour Of Demanding A Second Largesse From The Saint. It Might Spoil
Everything, He Said. Let Them Wait Till Next Morning. If There Was A
Deep Fall Like Last Time, The Experiment Might Be Worth Trying.
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