Author: J. Posthumus

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Contents

Foreword

Bokerah Brumley

Martian Chicken Man

L. Jagi Lamplighter

Frozen Chicken Master

Joshua M. Young

Spacer Williams’ Chicken

Dawn Witzke

A Murder Most Fowl

Grace Bridges

A Chicken for Miss Cuthbert

Jane Lebak

Things with Wings

John M. Olsen

Stray Thoughts

Clair W. Kiernan

Inspection Report

Bokerah Brumley

Field Trip Chicken

J. F. Posthumus

The Chicken of Doom

J. Trevor Robinson

Clucking in the Dark

Cedar Sanderson

The Great Chicken Escape

Margo Bond Collins

Chickening Out

Karina Fabian

Motherclucker

Amber Draeger

It Clucked

Grace Bridges

PŪKEKO: The Blue Swamp Hen

J. D. Beckwith

A Few Good Hens

Karina Fabian

Home Improvements

Richard Paolinelli

Barn Wars

Denton Salle

Chicken Dance

Abigail Falanga

Free Range

J. A. Campanile

Korion the Unclean

David Millican

The Great Chicken Escapade

Bokerah Brumley

Chicken Magic

Thank You

Cover Design by Elizabeth Constantopoulos

Proofreading by Grace Bridges www.gracebridges.kiwi

Formatting by Jennifer Laslie

The stories in this book are works of fiction. The characters, locales, events, dialogue, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead or undead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

All stories in this work are the Copyright of their authors as noted.

The “Cracked” anthology as a whole is Copyright © 2020 to Bokerah Brumley DBA as “Joyful Peacock Press.” The publisher does not claim any rights to the Copyright or intellectual property of any of the works contributed to this anthology.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Published by Bokerah Brumley,

P.O. Box 367

Cisco, Texas 76437

www.bokerah.com

www.superbokerah.com

Foreword

Bokerah Brumley

What do you do during lockdown?

As an entire nation, I think none of us knew until we were there in the middle of doing what needed to be done.

Reality turned somber and heavy really quickly for many of us.

I reside on a farm in the middle of a sparsely populated county. Homeschooling is a way of life for us. In everything, our manner of living did not change all that much from March 2020 onward, but I struggled. Not so much with toilet paper or supplies.

But I struggled mightily with the weight of what-if…

On one side, we had the economic crash. On the other, the heightened awareness of germs/viruses and how these things spread whether we intend them to or not.

It was a lot then. It’s still a lot now. But writers’ brains never rest.

In April 2020, for the first time, putting together the chicken anthology that I had always planned to do “someday” seemed like a good idea.

I thought maybe I’d gone a bit cracked. I consulted with the hens, and they agreed. So, I put the idea out there, thinking nobody would take it seriously.

Yet feathers flew!

So many authors were so excited about the chicken idea and, for some, it was the first time they’d written in months. For others, it made them laugh in the middle of dismal day job issues or the heaviness of dealing with a shut-down.

I’ve never gotten so much positivity so quickly. That’s when I knew.

WE HAD TO DO IT!

So, I spoke with an incredible cover designer friend, Elizabeth. (To know her is to love her!) Not only is she an incredible writer, she’s a fabulous designer. She made this amazing book cover, and the project moved forward.

At long last, here we are. We’ve reached the finish line, and this half-baked idea is going out into the world. Thanks for being here with us!

We have SO MANY ideas in here… chickens on Mars, chicken shifters, alien chickens, magic chickens, chicken houses, and all the mythical chickens in between. We even have a couple of mostly true tales toward the end.

Keep reading! We’ve got something for everyone, and some things that will surprise you. Above all, I hope CRACKED cracks you up, too!

~Bokerah

Chicken Curator

Martian Chicken Man

Bokerah Brumley

Martian Chicken Man Bokerah Brumley

Harmony Settlement, Habitation Module 21.5

Mars Test Colony, Tharsis Region

Local: Sol 1864

Earth: 30 June 2075

Salvador Reyes, Mission Specialist—or Sallie to his friends—stirred a pile of dehydrated compost beneath the glare of the grow lights,