The Hardest Cut by Jamie Bennett (book club recommendations .TXT) 📕

“I’m Gaby,” I told her as she appeared again.  I knelt down to her level and winced as I did.  Too much late-night working out.  “Did you come here to look for a book?” I asked softly.

The little girl ducked to hide again, her entire body covered by her dad’s leg.  I stood up quickly so I would stop scaring her, trying not to make an accompanying groan of agony.

“She’s shy,” Ben Matthews announced, like maybe we hadn’t noticed her trying to make herself invisible.

“I understand that,” I answered, smiling.  “I was really shy as a kid, too.”

“You, shy?”  His eyebrow raised.  “The first time I met you, you were wearing an orange bikini in public.”

“Wait, what?  You were wearing an orange bikini in the Woodsmen Stadium parking lot?” Marley broke in.

“No!  No, it’s…I’ll explain to you later.”

“Explain to me now why you’re meeting up with guys at night wearing your bikini,” she insisted.  “You’ve been acting weird, but that’s bat shit, Gaby.  Even I know that.”

“Marley!” I exclaimed.  “You’re swearing in front of a customer and a little girl!  Are you making the best choices right now?”  I shook my head.  “The answer is not yes.”

She looked at me and then slowly nodded.  “Ok.  Sorry, Gaby.”

I turned to Coach Ben, so embarrassed.  “I apologize that you had to see me discipline her like that,” I told him.

“Discipline?” he echoed.

Marley leaned around me.  “Yeah, that was her punishing me.  That’s as mean as she gets.”

He just stared at both of us.  “Right.  Sure.”  And he reached behind himself, and with one strong arm, picked up his little girl.  They walked into the children’s section together and I covered my face with my hand in embarrassment.  I peeked through my fingers at his back, and also at his butt in those jeans.  Gravy.

Before Marley could ask me anything else, I held up the little finger of my other hand.  “I’m going to tell you a secret, but you have to pinkie promise me not to tell anyone else.”

“If you’re doing something bad, I have to tell Hallie.  I don’t keep stuff from her anymore,” she answered me seriously.  “That’s part of our deal with me coming to live with them.”

I hugged her, and she didn’t knock away my arms like she used to do.  “Marley, sweetheart, I wouldn’t put you in that position!  It’s nothing bad, I swear.”  I took a deep breath and whispered, “I’m trying out for the Woodsmen football cheer squad.”

Marley disengaged from my embrace to look me in the face skeptically.  “Really?  One of those girls shaking her tits at the home games?”

“Marley!  Language!”

She rolled her eyes.  “Mammary parts.  Whatever.  That was why you were wearing the bikini in the parking lot?”

“I was wearing dance shorts and a super cute bra top, not a bikini, but I was covered up by the time I hit his car.  Maybe he remembered me from before,” I said.  Funny.

“Before what?  Who is that guy?”

I told her about deciding to try out for the team, how I’d been practicing, about the audition and the tour where we’d seen Coach Matthews, how tired I’d been at the end of the day.  I didn’t mention the message or trying to reach for my phone, but I did say, “I was distracted.  A tired, distracted driver is a dangerous driver!”  She was working on getting her license, so I hoped she was listening.

Marley certainly wasn’t distracted right now.  She hadn’t checked her phone even one time as I told the story.  “You really want to be a cheerleader?”

I nodded.  I really, really wanted it.

“I don’t get why you’re not telling Hallie,” she continued.  “Isn’t she your best friend?”

“Yes, she totally is,” I agreed.  Her foster mom had been the most supportive person in my life for months, which was one of the reasons I wasn’t yet talking to her about this topic.  “It’s supposed to be a good surprise, if I make it.  And if I don’t, then Hallie won’t worry that I’ll be really upset.  She’s been pretty worried about me,” I admitted, and Marley nodded.  But Marley, like almost everyone else in my circle of family and friends, didn’t know the whole story of why I’d been struggling lately.

“Are you going to be crushed if you don’t get picked or whatever?” she asked me.  “You cried, like, gallons over Christmas when you got fired from your job.”

Tears filled up my eyes again as she reminded me.

“Oh, fu…darn,” Marley muttered, and reached for the tissue box that Hallie had put behind the desk when I started working at the bookshop.  I’d needed it.

“Thank you, but I’m fine.”  I wiped my eyes anyway.  “If I don’t make the team, I would be a little upset, sure,” I agreed.  Heartbroken, destroyed.  “This is just something I’m trying to put a some excitement into my life.”  Meaning, purpose, a reason to get out of bed.  “If I don’t make it, I’ll find something else, instead.”  I’d busy myself with moving to a cave with no TV or internet to show the Woodsmen games.  “I’m going to go see if Coach Ben needs help with anything,” I said brightly, smiling my cheerleader smile.  “Please find a working pencil and do your homework.”

“It’s on the tablet, anyway,” she said, and threw in another eye roll.

The coach and his daughter were standing silently in the store’s small children’s section when I walked over.  He had a book in his hand but she was still hiding against his leg.  “Can I help you find something?” I asked.  “Oh, are you looking at that one about Amelia Bedelia?  I love her!”  I sat down carefully, not groaning, on one of the new floor cushions that Hallie had bought and I picked out the first book in the series.  “She’s so funny, dressing that chicken in clothes,” I told the little girl, and started to read out loud.

After the first page, Tessa peeked out from behind Coach Ben.  It