THE CONTROL: An Arranged Marriage Romance by Elena Monroe (ebook reader android .txt) 📕

knees to my chest before he pushed the door open. “What just happened? Did he-” His hands were on his hips and I could see the judgment blurring his vision of me.

He looked like he was in physical pain. 

“I was stupid enough to celebrate. I thought last night changed things for us. I thought we let go of our demons when mine is downstairs.” Hugging my knees even tighter to my chest, I watched Bowen take off his shirt and let his jeans fall to the floor with a thud, leaving him in nothing but boxer briefs outlining the toned muscles in his legs. Climbing into the huge tub, he sat across from me in his underwear, propping his feet up on the edge.

“I’m never going to think differently of you even if he touched you, Eve. At least that’s what I used to wish someone said to me. I used to wish a lot of shit before all those ungranted wishes became demons. You don’t have to say anything.” Twisting the knob, the water cascaded into the tub. I was still dressed, and he was still in his underwear.

Even being separated, the story of our lives kept us close. I knew from the moment I saw Bowen again after what seemed like a lifetime apart that something wasn’t right with how little interest he showed in sex, me, my body, or even his own. I just didn’t know it was the same trauma happening to me miles away. I faced his demon in the church and now he saw mine in its ugly form. “I’m so-”

I couldn’t say enough sorries for us.

“Don’t. He’s dead. I buried him up at Patmos.” Looking down, he stared at his bloody hands submerged under the water now filling the tub. The water threatened to turn pink and neither of us cared how morbid it was to be soaking in blood. “I want to touch you the way you deserve, I do, I just don’t know how to… everything about me is painful, and I’m afraid all of that pain will just continue to hurt you.”

I let the tears fall for both of us, finally giving the pain the attention that it wanted. “I don’t need you to touch me, Bowey, I just need you to trust me… to keep loving me.”

If he trusted me the way he used to then he would have admitted his truth—the alcoholism, his brother being the unspoken grief, his sexual traumas, and whatever else lurked inside those stormy eyes.

His long legs fell into the water, one leg on each side of me with his hands on my knees. “I’ll never stop loving you, Evey. And I trust you... I just wish you never left. I wish you knew so I wouldn’t have to explain all the ways I’m fucked up. We would have protected each other—I would have killed him for touching you.”

Pushing my knees apart, I felt a warmth in the pit of my stomach growing when he leaned into me pushing his lips against mine so carefully. Whimpering against his lips, I whispered between us like a dirty secret, “I don’t want him to be my last memory, Bowey.”

His wet hands cupped my face, holding me still when he shifted between my legs, kissing me again only this time I felt his warm tongue touch mine. My chest was heaving already, and he had barely touched me. Even with the water between us, I could feel every hard inch of him pushing against my satin shorts.

Pulling away only enough to take me in with his eyes, I felt myself try to swallow away the head rush only he was capable of giving me. His lips whispered, moving against mine, “He’s never going to hurt you again.”

My hands smoothed up the sides of his body hoping he would kiss me again if we were settling for less. I felt his hands pick me up, soaking wet, sliding me onto the edge of the tub where there was a ledge around it. On his knees, still submerged, his hands tugged my wet robe apart, exposing me even though my legs were still closed. I didn’t expect to be run over with the brick of nerves I felt when I watched his hands part my legs.

This wasn’t our first time, but something felt precious about it. 

No bruises or love bites but what someone needed after going to battle.

Kneeling between my legs, he pushed between them until he was settled, making us almost the same height. He was six-three, but on his knees, we met at a decent eye level while our hips lined up almost perfectly. I felt his arms wrap around me, keeping me close when his mouth kissed down my neck and over my see-through bra.

“Say something, Bowey,” I begged in the silence.

Pulling the tank top over my head, he looked over my body like he wanted to really see me, not the body parts clouding his vision. “I’m going to be the only one who touches you from now on.”

I was taking inventory of every scar, every tense muscle, every way he combined delicate and distraught in one form. He was so beautiful I felt it filling my heart because all of his beauty came crawling out of the dark just like mine.

Pushing the band down on his boxer briefs between us, I watched his length bounce out. He had no idea how perfect he was and that made me want to worship him more.

His eyes avoided mine and his hands gripped the ledge around me like it was painful to be like naked right now… it felt too real. The other times we’d been together were fueled by passion, desire, need, guilt, and the truth—all colliding into our ravenous touch.

Slipping down into the water enough to feel him, I pushed my chin