The Small House at Allington by Anthony Trollope (the kiss of deception read online txt) 📕

“I don’t care a ⸻ for Miss Dale’s uncle,” said Crosbie. “If he were to walk in at that door this moment, I would tell him the whole story, without⁠—”

As he was yet speaking, one of the club servants opened the door of the smoking-room, and seeing Crosbie seated in a lounging-chair near the fire, went up to him with a gentleman’s card. Crosbie took the card and read the name. “Mr. Dale, Allington.”

“The gentleman is in the waiting-room,” said the servant.

Crosbie for the moment was struck dumb. He had declared that very moment that he should feel no personal disinclination to meet Mr. Dale, and now that gentleman was within the walls of the club, waiting to see him!

“Who’s that?” asked Pratt. And then Crosbie handed him the card. “Whew-w-w-hew,” whistled Pratt.

“Did you tell the gentleman I was here?” asked Crosbie.

“I said I thought you were upstairs, sir.”

“That will do,” said Pratt. “The gentleman will no doubt wait for a minute.” And then the servant went out of the room. “Now, Crosbie, you must make up your mind. By one of these women and all her friends you will ever be regarded as a rascal, and they of course will look out to punish you with such punishment as may come to their hands. You must now choose which shall be the sufferer.”

The man was a coward at heart. The reflection that he might, even now, at this moment, meet the old squire on pleasant terms⁠—or at any rate not on terms of defiance, pleaded more strongly in Lily’s favour than had any other argument since Crosbie had first made up his mind to abandon her. He did not fear personal ill-usage;⁠—he was not afraid lest he should be kicked or beaten; but he did not dare to face the just anger of the angry man.

“If I were you,” said Pratt, “I would not go down to that man at the present moment for a trifle.”

“But what can I do?”

“Shirk away out of the club. Only if you do that it seems to me that you’ll have to go on shirking for the rest of your life.”

“Pratt, I must say that I expected something more like friendship from you.”

“What can I do for you? There are positions in which it is impossible to help a man. I tell you plainly that you have behaved very badly. I do not see that I can help you.”

“Would you see him?”

“Certainly not, if I am to be expected to take your part.”

“Take any part you like⁠—only tell him the truth.”

“And what is the truth?”

“I was part engaged to that other girl before; and then, when I came to think of it, I knew that I was not fit to marry Miss Dale. I know I have behaved badly; but, Pratt, thousands have done the same thing before.”

“I can only say that I have not been so unfortunate as to reckon any of those thousands among my friends.”

“You mean to tell me, then, that you are going to turn your back on me?” said Crosbie.

“I haven’t said anything of the kind. I certainly won’t undertake to defend you, for I don’t see that your conduct admits of defence. I will see this gentleman if you wish it, and tell him anything that you may desire me to tell him.”

At this moment the servant returned with a note for Crosbie. Mr. Dale had called for paper and envelope, and sent up to him the following missive:⁠—“Do you intend to come down to me? I know that you are in the house.” “For heaven’s sake go to him,” said Crosbie. “He is well aware that I was deceived about his niece⁠—that I thought he was to give her some fortune. He knows all about that, and that when I learned from him that she was to have nothing⁠—”

“Upon my word, Crosbie, I wish you could find another messenger.”

“Ah! you do not understand,” said Crosbie in his agony. “You think that I am inventing this plea about her fortune now. It isn’t so. He will understand. We have talked all this over before, and he knew how terribly I was disappointed. Shall I wait for you here, or will you come to my lodgings? Or I will go down to the Beaufort, and will wait for you there.” And it was finally arranged that he should get himself out of this club and wait at the other for Pratt’s report of the interview.

“Do you go down first,” said Crosbie.

“Yes: I had better,” said Pratt. “Otherwise you may be seen. Mr. Dale would have his eye upon you, and there would be a row in the house.” There was a smile of sarcasm on Pratt’s face as he spoke which angered Crosbie even in his misery, and made him long to tell his friend that he would not trouble him with this mission⁠—that he would manage his own affairs himself; but he was weakened and mentally humiliated by the sense of his own rascality, and had already lost the power of asserting himself, and of maintaining his ascendancy. He was beginning to recognize the fact that he had done that for which he must endure to be kicked, to be kicked morally if not materially; and that it was no longer possible for him to hold his head up without shame.

Pratt took Mr. Dale’s note in his hand and went down into the stranger’s room. There he found the squire standing, so that he could see through the open door of the room to the foot of the stairs down which Crosbie must descend before he could leave the club. As a measure of first precaution the ambassador closed the door; then he bowed to Mr. Dale, and asked him if he would take a chair.

“I wanted to see Mr. Crosbie,” said the squire.

“I have your note to that gentleman in my hand,” said he. “He has thought it better that you