Eye of the Sh*t Storm by Jackson Ford (most romantic novels .txt) 📕

It’s not a big shove. She doesn’t knock me over or anything. But it still makes me stumble back a few feet, arms out behind me, feet slipping on a wet patch of concrete. “Annie, what the f—?”

“You piece of shit.”

It come through Annie’s gritted teeth, more hiss than words, and that’s when I see just how angry she is. This isn’t regular angry. This is nuclear reactor angry. This is burn-the-world-down-and-dance-on-the-ashes angry.

I look past her, hoping that Nic will save me. But he and Leo are nowhere to be seen.

“Annie – Jesus Christ, enough, OK? We don’t have time for—”

“Fuck you.” She jabs a finger into my chest, Flexing and un-flexing her other hand, like she wants to slug me. “You’re not a… a… a fucking superhero. I don’t care what powers you got and shit, you don’t have to save the world every time.”

“Please stop,” I say.

“No, no, you don’t get to—”

“Annie, please, I don’t—”

“Because I’m tired of having to keep your ass out of trouble. You do this shit over and over, and you think you’re gonna live for ever and—”

“Stop it!”

My voice cracks so hard that the words are barely understandable.

“You don’t get it—” she starts.

I cut her off. “No. You don’t get it. Don’t pretend like you didn’t hear what I told Nic – you know exactly why I’m doing this. It’s my decision. Nic understands it, Reggie will probably understand it too; hell, even Tanner might understand it. Why can’t you?”

“You wanna know what I saw?” she says. “When the Zigzag Man hit us that last time?”

She’s barely holding it together. Under the rage is raw, brittle terror. “I saw you,” she says. “Dead. Just like Paul. Under the fucking ground.”

I put a hand on her shoulder. She smacks it away. “Don’t you fucking touch me.”

“But Annie… I made it. We made it. You pulled me out of there, right?”

“I can’t lose you again.” Hissed through gritted teeth. “If you go, there’s nobody else. Nobody who’s got my back.”

“I—”

Her words come in a sudden rush. “You’re the only one who gave a shit, you know that? After Paul. You were the only one who kept asking how I was doing. Reggie tried, but she had so much to deal with already. Africa, he’s a good dude, but it’s not as if he… He doesn’t know how to say it. Even my mom, she misses Paul too, I know she does, but she never wants to talk about him. It’s like she wants to pretend it never happened. Like we’re all gonna be fine. Same thing for everybody who came to that memorial service we had for him. They were just there for the party. They don’t care about us. So yeah, when you get down to it, you’re the only friend I’ve got.”

I am completely at sea in this conversation right now. Way beyond sight of land. What she’s saying doesn’t make sense. More than that: I’m not just confused, I’m angry.

“I don’t get it.” My throat feels too tight, furious tears pricking at the corner of my eyes. “You’ve been pissed at me for weeks now. Fuck it, months. No matter what I do or say, you just yell at me. Or make snarky comments. Or tell me I’m being… being stupid. Don’t pretend like you—”

“Because you keep trying to get yourself killed!” She roars in my face. “You keep putting yourself in these situations, and you do it over, and over, and over, and for what? For people who don’t care about you? Who don’t even know who you really are? And if they did know… Teags, if they knew, they’d…”

She trails off, closes her eyes. I’m about to interrupt, but she starts speaking again before I get there.

“You keep risking your life and you pretend like it’s no big thing because you got your voodoo. Like the rest of us don’t have to watch it happen. Like we don’t count at all.”

Her voice cracks. “What if this is the one time it doesn’t work? What if you’re gone, and I’m still here?”

And all at once, it’s like she shuts down. Like she grabs her emotions, and locks them in place. Her eyes go dead.

“No more,” she says. “I can’t deal with this shit any more. If you stay here? If you don’t come with me right now? We’re done, you and me. I’m out of China Shop, out of all of it. You will never see me again.”

I’m not just lost at sea, I’m getting hit by wave after wave. This is… insane. Where is this coming from?

But of course, I know the answer to that, even if she doesn’t.

It’s coming from a place of confusion.

A place of grief, and loss, and fear.

It’s twisted the way she views the world. Made it impossible for her to think straight. She’s so terrified of losing me that she’s blocked out everything else, focused all of her anger on me because in her mind, I won’t listen.

What would happen if the situation was reversed? If it was Annie who might die, and not me? How would I feel if she kept putting herself in danger?

I don’t know.

And that’s the scariest thing of all.

“Last chance,” Annie says.

There’s a moment where I almost go with her. Take her hand, let her lead me out. Away from all of this. Let her take me to a place where we save Reggie, save Leo. And a place where I can save her.

But around us, the chaos hasn’t stopped. The people are still here, still not leaving fast enough. Soon, the flash flood is going to be here. And if I go with Annie…

I don’t want to make this choice. It’s worse than anything I’ve experienced today. Worse than the meth comedown. Worse than splitting up the team.

I meet her eyes. A part of me expects her to soften, to finally understand how irrational she’s being, how she can’t possibly ask this of me.