Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy (snow like ashes .txt) 📕

the room homely; and Jude’s activity, uncustomary acquirements, and above all, singular intuition on what to read and how to set about it⁠—begotten of his years of struggle against malignant stars⁠—had led to his being placed on the committee.

A few evenings after his dismissal from the church repairs, and before he had obtained any more work to do, he went to attend a meeting of the aforesaid committee. It was late when he arrived: all the others had come, and as he entered they looked dubiously at him, and hardly uttered a word of greeting. He guessed that something bearing on himself had been either discussed or mooted. Some ordinary business was transacted, and it was disclosed that the number of subscriptions had shown a sudden falling off for that quarter. One member⁠—a really well-meaning and upright man⁠—began speaking in enigmas about certain possible causes: that it behoved them to look well into their constitution; for if the committee were not respected, and had not at least, in their differences, a common standard of conduct, they would bring the institution to the ground. Nothing further was said in Jude’s presence, but he knew what this meant; and turning to the table wrote a note resigning his office there and then.

Thus the supersensitive couple were more and more impelled to go away. And then bills were sent in, and the question arose, what could Jude do with his great-aunt’s heavy old furniture, if he left the town to travel he knew not whither? This, and the necessity of ready money, compelled him to decide on an auction, much as he would have preferred to keep the venerable goods.

The day of the sale came on; and Sue for the last time cooked her own, the child’s, and Jude’s breakfast in the little house he had furnished. It chanced to be a wet day; moreover Sue was unwell, and not wishing to desert her poor Jude in such gloomy circumstances, for he was compelled to stay awhile, she acted on the suggestion of the auctioneer’s man, and ensconced herself in an upper room, which could be emptied of its effects, and so kept closed to the bidders. Here Jude discovered her; and with the child, and their few trunks, baskets, and bundles, and two chairs and a table that were not in the sale, the two sat in meditative talk.

Footsteps began stamping up and down the bare stairs, the comers inspecting the goods, some of which were of so quaint and ancient a make as to acquire an adventitious value as art. Their door was tried once or twice, and to guard themselves against intrusion Jude wrote “Private” on a scrap of paper, and stuck it upon the panel.

They soon found that, instead of the furniture, their own personal histories and past conduct began to be discussed to an unexpected and intolerable extent by the intending bidders. It was not till now that they really discovered what a fools’ paradise of supposed unrecognition they had been living in of late. Sue silently took her companion’s hand, and with eyes on each other they heard these passing remarks⁠—the quaint and mysterious personality of Father Time being a subject which formed a large ingredient in the hints and innuendoes. At length the auction began in the room below, whence they could hear each familiar article knocked down, the highly prized ones cheaply, the unconsidered at an unexpected price.

“People don’t understand us,” he sighed heavily. “I am glad we have decided to go.”

“The question is, where to?”

“It ought to be to London. There one can live as one chooses.”

“No⁠—not London, dear! I know it well. We should be unhappy there.”

“Why?”

“Can’t you think?”

“Because Arabella is there?”

“That’s the chief reason.”

“But in the country I shall always be uneasy lest there should be some more of our late experience. And I don’t care to lessen it by explaining, for one thing, all about the boy’s history. To cut him off from his past I have determined to keep silence. I am sickened of ecclesiastical work now; and I shouldn’t like to accept it, if offered me!”

“You ought to have learnt Classic. Gothic is barbaric art, after all. Pugin was wrong, and Wren was right. Remember the interior of Christminster Cathedral⁠—almost the first place in which we looked in each other’s faces. Under the picturesqueness of those Norman details one can see the grotesque childishness of uncouth people trying to imitate the vanished Roman forms, remembered by dim tradition only.”

“Yes⁠—you have half converted me to that view by what you have said before. But one can work, and despise what one does. I must do something, if not church-gothic.”

“I wish we could both follow an occupation in which personal circumstances don’t count,” she said, smiling up wistfully. “I am as disqualified for teaching as you are for ecclesiastical art. You must fall back upon railway stations, bridges, theatres, music-halls, hotels⁠—everything that has no connection with conduct.”

“I am not skilled in those.⁠ ⁠… I ought to take to bread-baking. I grew up in the baking business with aunt, you know. But even a baker must be conventional, to get customers.”

“Unless he keeps a cake and gingerbread stall at markets and fairs, where people are gloriously indifferent to everything except the quality of the goods.”

Their thoughts were diverted by the voice of the auctioneer: “Now this antique oak settle⁠—a unique example of old English furniture, worthy the attention of all collectors!”

“That was my great-grandfather’s,” said Jude. “I wish we could have kept the poor old thing!”

One by one the articles went, and the afternoon passed away. Jude and the other two were getting tired and hungry, but after the conversation they had heard they were shy of going out while the purchasers were in their line of retreat. However, the later lots drew on, and it became necessary to emerge into the rain soon, to take on Sue’s things to their temporary lodging.

“Now the next lot: two pairs of pigeons, all alive and