Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

the drawers and I don't think I could love this man anymore then I already do. I mean my heart was full and crazy in love with him. In the drawer are boxes of Maxi pads and tampons. He even has fresh granny panties in there. I smile as I dress. I know it’s pretty cold out so I wear my black leggings, a red lace camisole and my black loose sweater over the top. I don’t have my hair dryer so I leave it down so it can air dry. I throw all my dirty clothes in his hamper and I kid you not, it just feels right to do that living together kind of stuff with him.

“I hope you don’t mind but I asked Michael to come by'' Eli says as I walk into the front room.

I look at him and ask, “Why would you do that?”

“It wasn’t his fault Sina, I came over without letting him know'' Michael says from his seat on the sofa.

I give Eli my I’m going to kick your ass later look and say, “It’s okay.”

Eli pulls me in and says “I’ll be in the garage. You guys need to talk and Emma wants to get to know him.” I take a deep breath. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do babe, I just want you to stress less is all.” Guh dammit. He kisses my ear and walks out of the house.

“I’m sorry for not calling before I came by Sina. I just needed to make sure that you were okay and I wanted to see Emma too” Michael says. He looks so tired and I’m sure he’s lost weight. I wasn’t angry that he was here. I could thank him for taking me to the hospital. I’ve been so busy with everyone that I haven't found the time to thank him for being there when I needed him the most.

“I’m actually glad you came over Michael. I wanted to thank you for everything, for saving me.”

He takes a deep breath and says “You don’t have to thank me Sina, I would do anything for you.”

I stand there and for the first time in a long time, I see the Michael that I fell in love with years ago. Yes, he was my first love, the man I wanted to get married to, but he broke my heart somewhere down the line. This was the man I used to be in love with, the man who gave me my most precious blessing. Emma. It was time that I let my past go for good. I needed to let go of everything that I have been holding on to for all these years. I needed and wanted to move on with my life. I didn’t want Michael to have any more regrets, what happened, happened and we can’t change that. The piece of my heart that was his will always mean something to me. “I forgive you Michael. I honestly and truly forgive you. We were young and we weren’t ready to be us. You will always be my first love, the boy who my younger self will always love. But, it’s time for us to move on with our adult lives. I want you to forgive yourself.”

Michael breaking down and my heart aches for him. I don’t want him to blame himself anymore, because he deserves to be happy just like I deserve to be. I wrap my hands around his waist and say, “Thank you for loving me even when I took you for granted.”

He holds me tighter and says, “I will always regret losing you Sina. I wasn’t strong enough to hold on to you years ago. I am sorry that I made you leave home and that you had to raise Emma alone.” He leans his forehead on mine and says “I hate that he’s in love with you, but I see how you look at him Sina. I know you’re in love with him because you’ve never looked at me that way when we were together. Give him a chance to hold your heart and to love you. Don’t make the same mistake I did, don’t push him away because you might think there’s something better out there. Trust me, I had to learn the hard way and it’s not worth it.” He kisses me on the lips and starts walking toward the front door.

“Michael, wait,” I say and he looks back over his shoulder at me. “Would you like to spend time with your daughter today?”

More tears fall and he says “I would love to spend the day with her.”

I smile through my own and say, “We’re going to Mama’s and I figure it would be better that she’s with you if that's okay with you. I don’t want her around if things got too dramatic.”

He laughs and says “Yeah,I don’t miss the family drama at all to be honest.”

We both laugh and I say “Shut the hell up jerk.”

He grabs my hand and says “Thank you for giving me this chance with Emma, Sina.” He hugs me once more and says “I am sorry for your loss.”

“Things will get better.” I tell him.

He lets me go and says “I’ll wait here while you grab her.” I smile. “I’ll be right back.” I walk out of the living room and my heart feels lighter. The broken pieces will always be a part of me, but I didn’t want them back anymore. I’m okay with the cracks that exist in my heart, because it made me who I am today.

Chapter Fifty-One

Eli

I wasn’t surprised when Sina told me that Michael was going to take Emma for the day, which I didn’t have a problem with. Plus, who was I to have an opinion? We were just us, not sure what that even means but I’ll take it if it means I get to kiss her here and there.