Apocalypse: Fairy System by Macronomicon (fox in socks read aloud txt) 📕

Jeb considered bisecting the man then and there, but with the two beefcakes in the back, it would be a short-lived victory. Best to wait until the numbers became manageable.

Jeb didn’t have to wait too long. A couple minutes of questioning later, the entire room shook, and shortly afterward, there was a polite knock on the door.

Mr. Sophistication ducked his head out the door.

“What!” The startled exclamation was the only thing Jeb could make out, followed by some harsh whispers.

“Watch him!” Mr. Sophistication said, pointing at Jeb as he rushed out, slamming the door behind him.

Suddenly silence reigned, and Jeb was alone with the two bruisers, who watched him with dim-witted malevolence.

“Sooo. Do you guys wanna play bridge or something?” Jeb asked with a shrug.

As it turned out, they did not want to play bridge.

“I was thinking more along the lines of making you squeal like a breek caught in a fence,” the left one said, unfolding his arms.

The entire building trembled.

“Is anyone else concerned about that?” Jeb asked as the right-hand thug picked a sharp blade off the table, eyeing Jeb menacingly.

“Oh, lay off the sharp objects, dude,” Jeb said with exasperation. “If you cut me in the wrong place and I bleed out, your boss is gonna kill you.”

The two glanced at each other and shared a dim look.

“What are we supposed to do, then?” he asked his friend.

“You work me over with your hands. Start from the outside and work your way in. Break my fingers and toes, as it’s very difficult to kill me from damage to those. Then you beat my arms, legs, and ribcage around a little bit, but be careful not to make me bleed internally too badly. Am I the only one who knows the right way to torture someone?” Jeb asked.

“That sounds like a lot of thinking.”

“Torture is a serious responsibility,” Jeb said. “You shouldn’t try it if you’re not interested in it.”

The guy stomped on Jeb’s toes with his thick boot.

“AAAHH! FUCK!”

“You got a smart mouth,” the melas brute said, lifting his foot off of Jeb’s toes.

“Eh.” Jeb shrugged, too pained to come up with something clever.

The room wobbled. For an instant, Jeb felt like he was gonna fall sideways as gravity seemed to shudder to the side before returning to its usual direction. The floor under his ass creaked in protest as it settled back.

“The Roil was that?” Leftie asked, steadying himself on the table.

“Maybe you should…”

“I’ll check it out,” Leftie said, stabbing the knife back into the table and heading for the door.

Jeb winked three times with his right eye, taking advantage of their distraction. He glanced over at the murder-buckler, making double-sure of the yellow arrow’s trajectory, what with the room shaking and all.

It had shifted a little, but it wasn’t aimed at Jeb, so that was good. Once the other bruiser had left the room, it was time to act. If he didn’t escape now, he was asking to die.

“I’ve been wondering, is it normal for melas women to burst into flame during orgasm?” Jeb asked, getting the brute’s attention. “Because that’s the sort of thing I’ll need to know if I start dating Vresh Tekalis.”

The melas scowled. “What would you know about it?”

“Check my dick for burn marks,” Jeb said, waggling his hips with a grin. “Could it be from your mom? You decide.”

“I’ve got a better idea,” the melas said, prying the dagger out of the wood and approaching Jeb menacingly with it.

Jeb watched carefully as the man’s legs entered the simulated strike zone.

“Yellow go fast.”

“Yellow go wha—”

The murder-buckler flung itself in the direction of the yellow arrow, spinning violently as it did, the Udium saw blades audibly tearing through the air. It treated flesh like water, and stone like butter in its mission to follow the trajectory of the yellow arrow.

Chunk! The bloody murder-buckler bored through the stone flooring beside Jeb’s leg as the melas brute toppled forward, his eyes wide with surprise.

Jeb tugged at the shredded rope behind his back, freeing his hands as the legless melas fell forward, eyes wide. The telekinetic blade was still sawing away right at the edge of Jeb’s skin as he brought his arms to bear.

In a heartbeat, Jeb grabbed the dagger with his right hand, and the man’s horns with his left, steering them both out of the danger zone. Jeb didn’t want to get stabbed by a falling asshole he’d already beat.

That would be embarrassing.

“AII—!” The melas let out a shrill scream before Jeb stabbed him in the throat, shutting him up.

Jeb’s enemy didn’t go down fast or easy, struggling with everything he had while bleeding from both legs and the throat. Were the man not so mortally wounded, he would’ve utterly destroyed Jeb. As it was, Jeb was drenched with blood by the time the bruiser went still.

Jeb collapsed against the wall, panting, the dagger drooping in his hands. Jeb wasn’t sure if the blood he tasted in his mouth was from overexertion or from the puddle he was sitting in.

Could be both.

Jeb desperately tried to catch his breath as he thought of Step 2: He needed to get this collar off, or failing that, he needed to get the chain off the wall. The chain looked like old-fashioned steel, and the murder-buckler should be able to cut through it easily enough.

Jeb glanced over at the disc-shaped hole in the floor where the buckler had punctured through.

Might be easier said than done, he thought.

CRACK!

There was a tearing sound that was felt through the entire room, almost as if some enormous beam that had been supporting the floor had been mostly severed by some asshole’s saw blade,