Parnassus on Wheels by Christopher Morley (easy to read books for adults list TXT) 📕

He looked at me. I noticed for the first time that his eyes were slate blue, with funny birds’ foot wrinkles at the corners.

“That’s so,” he said. “I never thought of that. A fine prose style certainly presupposes sound nourishment. Excellent point that⁠ ⁠… And yet Thoreau did his own cooking. A sort of Boy Scout I guess, with a badge as kitchen master. Perhaps he took Beechnut bacon with him into the woods. I wonder who cooked for Stevenson⁠—Cummy? The Child’s Garden of Verses was really a kind of kitchen garden, wasn’t it? I’m afraid the commissariat problem has weighed rather heavily on you. I’m glad you’ve got away from it.”

All this was getting rather intricate for me. I set it down as I remember it, inaccurately perhaps. My governess days are pretty far astern now, and my line is common sense rather than literary allusions. I said something of the sort.

“Common sense?” he repeated. “Good Lord, ma’am, sense is the most uncommon thing in the world. I haven’t got it. I don’t believe your brother has, from what you say. Bock here has it. See how he trots along the road, keeps an eye on the scenery, and minds his own business. I never saw him get into a fight yet. Wish I could say the same of myself. I named him after Boccaccio, to remind me to read the Decameron some day.”

“Judging by the way you talk,” I said, “you ought to be quite a writer yourself.”

“Talkers never write. They go on talking.”

There was a considerable silence. Mifflin relit his pipe and watched the landscape with a shrewd eye. I held the reins loosely, and Peg ambled along with a steady clop-clop. Parnassus creaked musically, and the mid-afternoon sun lay rich across the road. We passed another farm, but I did not suggest stopping as I felt we ought to push on. Mifflin seemed lost in meditation, and I began to wonder, a little uneasily, how the adventure would turn out. This quaintly masterful little man was a trifle disconcerting. Across the next ridge I could see the Greenbriar church spire shining white.

“Do you know this part of the country?” I asked finally.

“Not this exact section. I’ve been in Port Vigor often, but then I was on the road that runs along the Sound. I suppose this village ahead is Greenbriar?”

“Yes,” I said. “It’s about thirteen miles from there to Port Vigor. How do you expect to get back to Brooklyn?”

“Oh, Brooklyn?” he said vaguely. “Yes, I’d forgotten about Brooklyn for the minute. I was thinking of my book. Why, I guess I’ll take the train from Port Vigor. The trouble is, you can never get to Brooklyn without going through New York. It’s symbolic, I suppose.”

Again there was a silence. Finally he said, “Is there another town between Greenbriar and Port Vigor?”

“Yes, Shelby,” I said. “About five miles from Greenbriar.”

“That’ll be as far as you’ll get tonight,” he said. “I’ll see you safe to Shelby, and then make tracks for Port Vigor. I hope there’s a decent inn at Shelby where you can stop overnight.”

I hoped so, too, but I wasn’t going to let him see that with the waning afternoon my enthusiasm was a little less robust. I was wondering what Andrew was thinking, and whether Mrs. McNally had left things in good order. Like most Swedes she had to be watched or she left her work only three quarters done. And I didn’t depend any too much on her daughter Rosie to do the housework efficiently. I wondered what kind of meals Andrew would get. And probably he would go right on wearing his summer underclothes, although I had already reminded him about changing. Then there were the chickens⁠ ⁠…

Well, the Rubicon was crossed now, and there was nothing to be done.

To my surprise, little Redbeard had divined my anxiety. “Now don’t you worry about the Sage,” he said kindly. “A man that draws his royalties isn’t going to starve. By the bones of John Murray, his publishers can send him a cook if necessary! This is a holiday for you, and don’t you forget it.”

And with this cheering sentiment in my mind, we rolled sedately down the hill toward Greenbriar.

I am about as hardy as most folks, I think, but I confess I balked a little at the idea of facing the various people I know in Greenbriar as the owner of a bookvan and the companion of a literary huckster. Also I recollected that if Andrew should try to trace us it would be as well for me to keep out of sight. So after telling Mr. Mifflin how I felt about matters I dived into the Parnassus and lay down most comfortably on the bunk. Bock the terrier joined me, and I rested there in great comfort of mind and body as we ambled down the grade. The sun shone through the little skylight gilding a tin pan that hung over the cook stove. Tacked here and there were portraits of authors, and I noticed a faded newspaper cutting pinned up. The headlines ran: “Literary Pedlar Lectures on Poetry.” I read it through. Apparently the Professor (so I had begun to call him, as the aptness of the nickname stuck in my mind) had given a lecture in Camden, NJ, where he had asserted that Tennyson was a greater poet than Walt Whitman; and the boosters of the Camden poet had enlivened the evening with missiles. It seems that the chief Whitman disciple in Camden is Mr. Traubel; and Mr. Mifflin had started the rumpus by asserting that Tennyson, too, had “Traubels of his own.” What an absurd creature the Professor was, I thought, as I lay comfortably lulled by the rolling wheels.

Greenbriar is a straggling little town, built around a large common meadow. Mifflin’s general plan in towns, he had told me, was to halt Parnassus in front of the principal store or hotel, and when a little throng