Masterpiece in Progress by Smith, TL (snow like ashes txt) 📕

My sister Diane had my baby shower for me and checked on me ALL the time.  Making sure I was doing okay and feeling okay.  My sister Dottie called often for the same reason.  And my other sister Debbie had a little one about 2 when I was pregnant, so we got to share some really special time together.

And I finally got to meet Jerry’s family.  His mom, dad, brother, brother’s wife, their two kids and Jerry’s son came to California to visit.  I had so much fun learning about them and showing them the beach and Knott’s Berry Farm and Disneyland.  Even though I couldn’t ride any rides, I thoroughly enjoyed watching the kids enjoy themselves.  And Jerry’s mom was going to make me some maternity shirts!

During our trip to Knott’s Berry Farm, his son said something about his dad’s first wife.

“Wait?  Isn’t that your mom?”  he said, “No, it was before my mom.”

Wow, that was a shock.  Turns out, Jerry had been married when he was a very young teenager.  Young enough that his parents had to sign for him to allow him to get married.  It didn’t last long, but I was still pretty upset that once again, I had caught him in a lie. By his son, at Knott’s Berry Farm.  When confronted with this his argument was that I never asked.  My response was, “I shouldn’t have to, it was a lie by omission”.

But I let that go just like I had all the other things he had lied about because I was now married to him, and PREGNANT with his child.  I simply had to make this work.

My mom took such great care of me. When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy I couldn't shave my legs, so she did it for me. My heels were cracked, and my feet swollen, so every night, she would soak my feet, rub them with corn huskers lotion, then put socks on me to sleep in, all while making sure I was eating and resting. I miss her so very much.

Paige was late and I was miserable. My doctor said I was healthy other than not dilating. He said we'd give it one more week (by this time, it's nearly 3 weeks AFTER her due date) then talk about inducing.

I was home, playing Yahtzee with my mom and her boyfriend Paul when I had one really bad cramp, then my water broke. I felt so bad because it was ALL over my mom's FABRIC chair. Of course, she reassured me that they could be cleaned, and it was fine, but I was mortified.

I was also scared, and Jerry was asleep. I didn't wake him right away. Instead, I took a shower (which I learned later I shouldn't do) and did my makeup (again, WHY?) THEN woke him up. He was livid and we headed out to the hospital with my mom and Paul close behind.  The whole way there, I was thinking, “I am not ready to do this, I don’t want to do this, maybe it’ll stop, and we can wait”.

My sister Diane had gone on a cruise and before she left she told me I better not have this baby while she was gone but my other sister Dottie was in town (I can't recall why, but I sure am glad she was).

I was hell bent on doing this naturally, but since I was only a 3 and nothing was happening, they started me on a Pitocin drip. OHHHEMMMGEEEE!!!!

After about 16-18 hours I finally said, "I don't care what you give me, just give it to me NOW!" Once they gave me something to help with the pain, I was able to get an epidural and then my body did its' part and I finally was ready to have her.

I went in on a Friday night late, Paige came on SUNDAY, so a long labor to get that beautiful baby.

Anyway, there were complications at delivery. My doctor had left the hospital (his wife locked herself out of the house) he came strolling in the delivery room AFTER I had just delivered. The other doctor (no clue his name to this day) said, "You can clean up." And promptly walked out.

They kept pushing on my lower belly and tugging on the cord, all while I was looking for my crying baby. He pushed REALLY hard once and tugged REALLY hard once and all hell broke loose. Only I had no idea it was because of me. I thought something must be wrong with my baby.

Chapter 11

I Didn’t Die

I remember feeling hot and sweaty, so I reached around to wipe the dampness away from my neck and my hand came back bloody. The next thing I remember is hearing the doctor say, "Get a bucket, get a bucket!" Then he looked at my mom and said, "Get on that phone (points to wall phone to my left) and tell them delivery needs help STAT!"

Then we were running, he was on top of the gurney with me, his arm inside me holding whatever was bleeding. There were people on either side of me and at my head and feet and the rooms were just whooshing by. We went to another area. It was cold and the last thing I remember is them telling me they are going to add more drugs to my epidural.

When I woke up (hours later) the doctor and Jerry were there with me. The doctor was clearly upset. He explained to me that they tried to do everything they could, but they had to remove my uterus. He actually had a tear in his eye and told me how very sorry he was. Then I was out again. This time it would be days of in and out of consciousness. Mostly from