The Best of World SF by Lavie Tidhar (children's ebooks free online .txt) 📕

Iyah’, Rtd Headmaster of The Tropicool Icy-Land Ambedkar Primary School, EverTyphoid 4th year

In my past thirty-five years of service, not once have I taken leave. When I was having this malaria viral fever all type of thing, nothing. I have never taken leave. Everyone will be so they will be shocked. Surprised. They will be surprised. Why this man is like this, with so much dedication for his duty. They will say, why sir for you? Take rest. Stay at home. Health is wealth. But I will never take leave. I will take only hot water, some kanji with lime pickle, no milk I will take at that time. Even as a youth, I will never take coffee. Also all these western vegetables I will not take. Cabbage, beans, carrot, potato I choose to avoid. Because our South Indian foods like podalanga, kothavaranga, vahzathandu, these are all healthful foods, adapted for our culture. So only I was able, even with this malaria typhoid all sorts of thing, even then I was able to attend the classes. Sometimes, when my fellow teachers would take leave, they may feel shame to ask me. They may feel, oh here is this man. Who came to the office even when his wife was lying in hospital. How can I ask for this leave? Sometimes they may feel shame to ask me because I never have taken leave in all my thirty-five years of service. Not one day.

ONSET OF THE ROSE PETAL INFESTATION

The infestation will appear abruptly but spread in a slow and fluid fashion. It generally begins on the outer palm, right above the wrist. The palm appears to be where the infestation is generally heaviest, with the cabbage rose petals often blossoming in the pattern of road maps of Southern Texas from the 1930s. The infestation can be identified via three significant stages.

a) Denial

The patient will adamantly deny that such an infestation is possible. In some cases, they will even deny that they have typhoid though they may be willing to admit they had it around four years ago. When confronted with the actual infestation on their hands, they will insist that it is wheezing or diarrhea.

During this stage, patients will attempt to resume their normal life but will be hampered by various ‘loops’ which are another side-effect of EverTyphoid (please see EverTyphoid and the Space–Time Continuum – Why You Can’t Stop Brushing Your Teeth, p. 56).

b) Pseudo-Denial

At this stage, the patient will appear to be in denial but will in fact be aware of the infestation. This awareness will be coupled with a rabid desperation to get rid of the infestation at all costs, as it is often seen as something dangerous and unnatural. They will try to get rid of it by making cuts which they may then douse with mild bleaching fluids in a bid to ‘burn the infestation out’. Once this is done, the patient may experience some mild feelings of euphoria and well-being. During this time, they may be tempted to make life-changing decisions such as marriage, buying a new home or having a child. This again will be hampered by the ‘loops’, so while the patient may chart menstrual cycles, make STD calls or book railway tickets, they will never be able to move beyond these stages and accomplish anything (see EverTyphoid and the Space–Time Continuum – Why You Can’t Stop Brushing Your Teeth, p. 86).

c) Acceptance

After burning themselves five to seven times, the patient will learn to accept the infestation. This will start with initial feelings of despondency and self-pity. The patient will then start exhibiting an interest in the infestation by studying it on a daily basis and pressing down on it to hear the telltale rustling noise. They will then start showing the infestation to others and comparing it with those who suffer from the same condition (see A Sense Of Togetherness for the Betterness – Living with The Rose Petal Infestation, p. 8375).

REMOVAL OF ROSE PETALS

Contrary to popular belief, these petals can indeed be removed manually for aesthetic reasons, although the infestation will set in again. For manual removal, the area must first be cleaned with fermented coconut water. A small incision should then be made beside the infestation. The petals can be removed by gently pressing the surrounding flesh so the petals can burgeon upwards and fall gently on the surrounding skin. However, the incision should not be left open as the infestation is known to attract moths, which may use the area to make a nest. The infestation is harmless though recurring and its only known side-effect is a rustling noise that is heard when pressure is applied to the infested area.

OTHER SYMPTOMS ASSOCIATED WITH EVERTYPHOID

The Assumption That You Can Bend and Break Light

Even if the patient will not admit to having this symptom, there are a number of telltale signs which are a clear indication of this assumption.

a) The tendency to keep both hands in a claw-like position, hovering near their pockets. This is because the patient will believe they can bend, break and quickly transfer said light shards into their pockets before they dissolve.

b) The patient will develop an interest in collecting glass bottles, where they believe the bent and broken light can be stored. In some cases, the patient may add colored glass or water to the bottles in order to add to the aesthetic beauty of the alleged collected light shards.

c) The patient will also cultivate a firm belief that they can curl light from one room to another. This is often reflected in their insistence that you don’t turn on a light in an adjacent room because they can ‘do it for you’.

The assumption that one can bend light is generally a harmless symptom. In some cases where the belief is more aggressive, it could result in potentially dangerous scenarios i.e., attempting to throw the sun off a cliff to make it go down faster. In these cases, extra caution