Irresistible Bachelors: Books 1-5 by Landish, Lauren (bts books to read TXT) 📕

to be fake. But somewhere along the line, I started to feel like it was real. It was a mistake, and though we just had sex, I know it was just sex. But . . . I just don’t want to fight anymore. So please, no more words tonight, Oliver. No more pain.”

I open my mouth to tell her that I do truly love her and that if she loves me too, maybe we can make something out of this fucking mess. But before I can, she turns away. “After the wedding, you’re free to never speak to me again. Actually . . . after we get back home, I don’t want to see you again. It’ll hurt too goddamn much.”

She walks into the bathroom and closes the door, leaving me feeling like I just got punched in the chest, and I roll onto my back, covering my eyes. I lie there for a moment before getting up, pulling on my boxers, and going out to the balcony to stare up at the moon, which doesn’t have any answers either.Mindy

“I never thought I’d live to see the day,” Mom says, tears shining in her eyes as she looks at me in the mirror. We’re in the dressing room at the reception hall, putting the final touches on what I’m wearing. The wedding begins in fewer than thirty minutes, and Mom’s been fluttering around me all morning. I know she means well, but all she’s doing is making it worse. I’ve been so nervous all morning and so guilt-ridden that I refused breakfast and haven’t been able to talk in anything more than grunts and one-word answers.

My chest is tight as I gaze at myself in the full-length mirror. I look beautiful—even I have to admit it. My hair is pulled to the side and hangs over my right shoulder, letting my back remain bare in my body-hugging lacy white gown. My shoulders are bare, and it’s just a little risqué, with a deep curving V-cut that drops deep between my breasts.

When I was a lonely teenager who didn’t have a boyfriend, I’d stay up and look at bridal magazines. I’d dream about my wedding, how I’d look, and what sort of gown I’d wear. I had it all planned out, the perfect fairytale wedding. And suddenly, so fast I’m still reeling, it’s here. Well, sort of. My eyes filled with tears when I first saw the gown in the bridal shop. I wanted it right away, and I couldn’t stop myself despite my guilt. The perfect gown for the perfect fraud.

“Ha,” Grandma says to Mom, “you never thought you’d see the day? Well how about my old crusty ass?”

“Momma, please,” Mom says, smiling into the mirror. “Don’t make Mindy laugh in the dress. She’s barely got room to breathe as it is. I can see why you skipped breakfast.”

Anxiety is twisting my stomach tighter. I want to say something, but instead, I just turn away from the mirror and put on my high heels. Mom need not worry about me laughing. I haven’t been able to so much as crack a smile since I woke up this morning from a fitful hour of sleep. Since last night, my emotions have been running rampant. The hot, angry sex with Oliver last night was amazing. I came deeper and harder than I could have ever imagined. If just a few things would have been different, I’d be smiling and joking just as much as my family is.

But now I know that for Oliver, it meant nothing. He was repaying a debt, and the sex was just his little way to put his own twist on the whole thing. The kind words, the cuddles, the laughter. All of it was just him getting into his role. He never loved me. Hell, last night, he probably fucked me so hard because he wanted it to hurt, to show me just how angry he was.

This whole thing is one big fucking fraud. And Oliver’s right—I’m just a liar.

“Are you okay?” Mom asks me, seeing the tears that are threatening to fall from my eyes.

I flash her a weak smile, forcing at least my lips to turn upward some. “Yeah. Just nervous, Mom.”

“Oh, baby,” she says, giving me a hug. “I understand. I was so nervous yesterday. And the day that your father and I got married, I was so worked up I got sick. But there’s nothing to be nervous about. This is your special day. Be happy. Rejoice in it. All of your family is here to see you except for Grandpa Johnny.”

“But he’s watching from heaven,” Grandma says. “You can be sure of it.”

Their words are supposed to make me feel better. I know that, but they only succeed in making me feel worse. Grandpa was old school, one of those men who always talked straight. He never told a lie that I knew of, even when it might have saved him a lot of pain. He never would have done what I’ve done, and if he’s looking down on me, he’s not proud of me.

“Thank you both,” I reply, forcing the words out. “I’m so glad you’re both here to see my special day.”

I try to make conviction ring true in my words, but they sound false even to me. Still, they chalk it up to my pre-wedding jitters and come over, giving me a kiss.

“We’re both so proud of you!” Mom says, patting me on the cheek.

I do my best not to break down into tears as they leave the room to find their seats in the chapel hall, and I take a minute to try and compose myself before I leave. Outside in the hallway, I see Roxy waiting for me. She’s my maid of honor, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a maid of honor so giddy that she’s hopping from side to side like a boxer getting ready for a fight.

“Girl, you look so beautiful,” Roxy says