Against the Clock by John Carson (best mobile ebook reader TXT) 📕

his head. ‘Don’t talk pish. We’re on the ground floor and that windowsill is barely three feet off the ground. Jump.’

‘Jesus, don’t talk like that. Fucking jump. You know how I hate heights.’

‘Well, climb in then.’

‘Help me, Muckle.’

‘For God’s sake.’ Muckle stepped forward and grabbed hold of Shug’s outstretched hand.

‘Hurry, Muckle. I’m going to fall.’

Muckle pulled the small man through the top of the window, and Shug scrabbled his legs, and then he was in, falling through the air, sure he was going to meet certain death. He screamed as Muckle stepped back, and then he landed on the couch.

‘What a bloody racket. Just as well the house is empty.’

‘I wonder why he left this couch?’ Shug said.

‘I doubt that was his. Have you seen it? It’s all fucking pish-stained. Looks like some junkie bastard couldn’t be bothered going to the bog and let loose on it.’

Sparky put his two front legs on the couch and licked Shug’s face.

‘Get down, Sparky. You don’t know what you’ll catch. And the couch is minging too,’ Muckle said.

‘Very funny,’ Shug said.

‘What’s all the noise?’ Vern Baxter said, coming into the room.

‘It’s Shug. He went skydiving and landed on the couch.’

‘On that pish-stained old thing? You’re brave, Shug.’

Shug moved fast and was on his feet in a second. He looked back at the couch, which had some seriously dubious stains on the cushions. ‘Christ, why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I did,’ said Muckle. ‘And you were only supposed to climb through the window, not stand on the sill looking like you were trying to tan the place.’

‘I had to stand up there to try and get the window open. Get some leverage going. It was stiff.’

‘Your heid’s stiff. Next time, I’ll take the window and you can have the door. It was unlocked and we just walked in.’

‘Fine by me.’

‘No, wait. I’ll have Sparky. Never mind.’

‘Vern can come in through a window,’ Shug said, grinning at Vern.

‘Just when I thought you were a gentleman, you go and crush the dream,’ Vern replied.

It was almost mid-afternoon and shadows were being thrown about the back garden by the tall trees, the same trees that gave them shelter from prying eyes.

‘The house is empty,’ Vern said. ‘Except for that couch.’

‘You should take that couch away with you, Shug, since you’ve bonded with it,’ Muckle said.

‘I wouldn’t even put that bastard thing on a bonfire.’ Shug looked around the room. ‘So what now?’

‘We’re repo agents. When the suit went to repo Diamond Jim’s Bentley, he was threatened. Diamond Jim isn’t going to threaten us. Not twice anyway.’

‘It seems that he’s gone down in the world if all he’s got is that crappy old Mini parked in front of the garage,’ Shug said. It was an original one, smaller in size than the new ones.

‘Oh, I think he’s got more than a Mini,’ Vern said.

‘In the garage? You think he would walk away from this house, taking all his stuff, and leave a car worth well over a hundred grand just sitting in an abandoned garage?’ Shug said.

Muckle raised his eyebrows.

‘Right, I’m going outside to prove you wrong. I think we’re wasting our time here.’

‘Go ahead,’ Muckle said to Shug’s back as the small man walked out.

A few minutes later, Muckle walked out with Vern and Sparky to find Shug rocking the small car from side to side on its springs.

‘What are you trying to do, Shug?’ Muckle asked. Shug was merely a shadow behind the Mini.

‘I’m going to roll it on its roof.’

‘How the fuck are you going to manage that?’

‘Like a woman can lift a car when her child’s underneath it.’

Muckle bent down and gave an exaggerated look under the car. ‘Nope, I don’t see any child under there.’

‘Funny. You two could give me a hand instead of standing there.’

Muckle looked at Vern and nodded, and then they both gave a round of applause.

‘Bloody comedians.’

‘We could help you roll it over, Shug, or we could just use these?’ Muckle held up the car keys.

‘You made me sweat first. I hope you both had a laugh watching me.’

‘We did actually,’ Vern said. ‘The keys were on a hook in the kitchen.’

‘Here, you’re the short arse – get behind the wheel and move it. Then bring the keys back. There’s one on there might open the garage,’ Muckle said. Sparky thought he was about to throw a ball. ‘Easy, ya hoor. If you swallow these, we’ll have to wait twenty-four hours.’

Vern rubbed behind the dog’s ear.

The small car’s back bumper was pressed against the door, so there was no doubt the car had to be moved. Shug took the keys, got in and moved the car forward, then brought the keys back out.

He tossed them back to Muckle. ‘Here, you’re bigger than me. If somebody’s going to come charging out, you and the boy there can have at it.’

‘Deary me, you’ll be first in line if there’s a bonus, though, eh?’

‘Goes without saying, mate.’

‘Right then.’ Muckle took a key and inserted it into the lock and swung the garage door open. And there was their prize, a nearly new Bentley Continental GT.

It was unlocked and the key fob was inside. Muckle got in behind the wheel.

‘Right, boys and girls. Recovery fee will be ours tomorrow. Shug? Tell your husband to get the paperwork sorted. Tonight, we eat like kings.’

Sparky started barking and wanted in beside Muckle. ‘Away, ya big furball. This car is going to keep you in dog meat for a while, so don’t go ripping the fucking leather. Vern? Could you do the honours and take my boy?’

‘My pleasure. Shug, you can drive while I sit in the back with my favourite boy.’

‘I thought Robbie Evans was your favourite boy?’ Shug said.

‘He’s my second favourite.’

Just then, Muckle’s phone rang. ‘Hi, Tom. What’s up, pal?’

Muckle spoke to DI Tom Barclay for a couple of minutes before he hung up.

‘What’s that all about?’ Vern asked.

‘A wee girl went missing five years ago from Swim World. Now she’s been found at