I Still Hate You by Marie Skye (top 100 novels .txt) 📕

came over for dinner, I had to eat in my room so as not to bother them, since Jacqueline didn’t think I had the proper etiquette. “I’m sure you have lots of questions about our arrangement,” Gerald once said to me but never added in words beyond that. Now I knew firsthand an inkling of some of the experiences that Dido Elizabeth Belle went through in the 1700s.

How may I be too high in rank to dine with the servants, and too low to dine with my family?

It earned sympathy points for Jacqueline and popularity points with Gerald. I didn’t want to come here. I dreaded having to come here, but after my father died of cancer, it was either this or be put in a foster home. I regret that I didn’t select a foster home. At least then I would have had a family.

But ergo, there was the constant comparing to Hailey. In fact, the only time Jacqueline ever really talked to me was to tell me how disappointing I was, and how the reason Hailey was no longer here was because of me.

She was right, of course, she was. If I hadn’t shown up on their doorstep five years ago then maybe Hailey never would’ve gone to that party. Maybe Hailey wouldn’t have gotten into the driver’s seat completely drunk to drive herself home because I had to stay in to study. Unlike Hailey, I wasn’t given a buy-in to the university, so I had to have a beyond decent score on the ACTs. Or... maybe I just shouldn’t have told her no when she demanded that I come to get her from the party. Maybe Hailey would still be alive, and maybe, just maybe, my egg donor wouldn’t look at me as if I solely killed her daughter.

The moment I turned eighteen, I came home from school and was prohibited from going past the foyer. When I looked to my left, all my things, which weren’t much, were sitting in a few boxes. I wasn’t exactly expecting a present of any kind, but this was highly surprising. Walt, the butler and basically my only friend, gave me the saddest look as he looked away when a tear escaped his eyes. “I begged her to let you stay, and—”

I shushed him as I gave him a small smile. “It’s okay.”

“You can stay with us; we have a small room—”

“Walt,” I wiped his tears away, “it’s okay.” He looked away from me as guilt started to eat at him. “I promise, it’s okay.”

“Let me try talking to her again. I think she just needs to be talked to, to understand. She’s not thinking right, you know she never has since…” He stopped, realizing what he was about to say.

“Walt, I’m fine. I promise.”

He took his handkerchief from his pocket. “Keep in touch okay? And we’ll be there for graduation, I promise.”

I nodded as I gave him a hug, before picking up the two small boxes I had, and took them out to my 1996 Chevy Corsica. It was the only car I could afford, basically. I took a deep breath and looked up at the house to the window I often saw Jacqueline looking out of. Today was no different. She glared at me for a few seconds before finally turning and walking away. She was good at that after all.

“Perrie, this is for you.”

I turned to Walt who ran up to me with his wife, Martha. He held out a plain white envelope. I looked at him confused before opening the envelope. I stared at the money. “I know it’s not much, but Martha and I wanted to—”

I shoved the envelope back to him. “I can’t take your money.”

He shook his head as he handed it back to me, this time closing his fingers around mine. “Start your new life, but don’t forget about us. Make us proud.”

I shook my head, tears running down my face. “I love you both so much, and I’m sorry if I’ve never said it before, but I do. I love you both.” Walt and Martha never had kids, it just never happened for them. Then I came along—a scrawny, barely in her teens little girl, that yearned for some kind of affection, some semblance of love to show that I mattered or at least one person cared about me. They gave me exactly that and more.

I didn’t know it then, but that was the last time I would ever see Walt or Martha for a very long time—the only people I had in my life, that I could call family.

“Clarence, great to see you.” Gerald interrupted himself to briefly make pleasantries with someone passing by before he turned his attention back to me as I tried to tune back in to whatever he was saying. He was rambling about who knows what, to ease the tension before it dawned on me what he said. “It’s been ten years,” I whispered, afraid of being any louder than that, out of fear I may cry. “Ten years,” I said again. “You said you heard I did well at university. How? How would you have known that?”

Both of them looked at me but said nothing as Gerald I’m sure attempted to come up with something. “What did I major in?” I looked to Gerald, waiting for an answer. There was no point to even look at Jacqueline. She just stared at her tea. “You don’t even know do you? You think sending me a graduation present, which I sent back by the way, makes up for everything?”

Gerald cleared his throat. “I admit, things weren’t thoroughly thought out then. You weren’t treated fairly—”

I cut him off. “You’re just now realizing that?” I yelled not even being fazed that my voice was rising and I’m sure we were getting looks. Shaking, I reached for my tea to calm myself down, not caring that a few drops of tea from the spoon landed on the stark white