Love Is for Losers by Wibke Brueggemann (motivational books for men .TXT) 📕

“Or someone really cool like Barack Obama,” Emma said, and Pat went: “Hmm, or George Clooney. I’ve always had a thing for George Clooney.” And then Alex went: “Or Batman,” and they all lost it again.

Kate then introduced me to Ponytail Lady, whose name is Melanie. Apparently she and her husband volunteer at the shop when they’re not traveling the world, but he wasn’t there today because he had an eye appointment.

Instead of shaking my hand like any other old person would have done, Melanie kissed me on both cheeks and then hugged me. She was like: “I’m so pleased we’re finally meeting. I feel like I know you already from hearing so much about you from Kate.” I was just like: “Oh.” Because TBH, I don’t think anybody actually really knows me.

Emma was like: “You’ve got half term as well, then?”

Me: Yes.

Emma: Are you doing anything exciting?

Me: I’m trying to get a job.

Emma: Why don’t you just work here?

Me: No, I mean an actual job.

OMG, why do I say these things? I didn’t even mean it in a derogatory way or anything. All I meant was: I need to actually earn money. I can’t work for free.

Tuesday, February 20 #BirthdayDate

Kate asked if me and Emma would mind taking Alex out for his birthday on Thursday as it’s half term.

Apparently Kate usually takes him to Sprinkles, because ice cream is his favorite thing ever, but she was thinking that maybe he could socialize with people his own age for a change, which is obviously bullshit, because he’s actually turning twenty-one. Apparently Emma was all for it, and I said okay as well.

I’ve never been out with anyone with Down syndrome.

Wednesday, February 21 #JobSearchTake341

I’ve heard nothing from the hairdressing places. How depressing is all that?

When Kate got home, I was reading up on Down syndrome in preparation for tomorrow’s activities, and she was like: “Phoebe. It’s Alex. It’s ice cream.” But I’m so glad I read up on it, because I knew nothing.

According to www.downwithfriends.org.uk: Down syndrome is not a disease, and therefore people don’t “suffer” from Down syndrome. A person who has Down syndrome may be referred to as “Linda is twenty-four, and she has Down syndrome.” People with Down syndrome are all individuals, and Down syndrome is only one part of the person.

One in one thousand people can have Down syndrome, and the really interesting thing is that at the moment of conception, the very instant of sperm meeting egg, an extra chromosome joins the mix, and no one knows where it comes from.

Thursday, February 22 #HBDAlex

Emma is everything neither Miriam Patel, nor I, nor anyone will ever be: entirely effortless perfection.

She had on a fake-fur coat, skinny jeans, and red high-top Converse. She’d done nothing to her hair, apart from maybe brush it, and she wore zero makeup. I swear, I almost didn’t recognize her, but she was walking up with Alex, and you can’t miss him in his long military coat. I must have looked like such a tramp in comparison.

When we sat down, Emma was like: “Alex, what should I order?”

Turns out Alex knows the whole menu off by heart, including prices.

I told them I’d never been to Sprinkles, and Emma was like: “I’m not sure we can be friends with her, Alex, what do you think?” and Alex was like: “I don’t know.” And then Emma was like: “We normally only let fun people into the inner circle.” Alex laughed, but Emma just smiled and looked at me like she knows something I don’t, and I swear I forgot what we were even talking about.

I suddenly couldn’t read the menu like a normal person and ended up ordering a banana split because it was the only thing I recognized.

Emma (who ordered Butter Popcorn Extreme) was like: “Banana split. Classic choice.”

Does she think I’m boring? What does “classic” actually mean, anyway? So, of course now I’m thinking that instead of researching Down syndrome, I probably should have looked up the Sprinkles menu online.

And then Alex was like: “The banana split was invented in 1904.”

Emma and I just looked at each other, and he went: “You can check,” and Emma was like: “No, I believe you, I’m just fascinated by your knowledge.”

As am I. Plus, I love people who know random shit.

Emma was like: “Have you opened your birthday presents yet, Alex?” And Alex was like: “Yes, I got a KitchenAid,” which apparently is a big deal, because he’s majorly into baking, and when he’s not at the thrift shop, he goes to a college where he’s learning how to do it professionally.

Emma: Lucky us. Now you can make us cake every week.

Alex: Not every week. I’m busy.

Emma: Just putting it out there.

Alex: I’ll make a coconut cake.

Emma: I can’t wait.

Alex: Phoebe, do you like coconut?

Me: Yes, thanks. My mum likes to bake. When she’s at home. Which is never.

Alex: Where’s your mum?

Me: Working in Syria.

Alex: Do you miss her?

Me: Not really.

Alex: I would miss my mum.

Emma: I think what she does is so cool.

Me (shrugging):…

Emma: Really? You don’t think that?

Me: I hate that I think she’s dead every time the phone rings.

Emma: Yeah, I get that.

Me: No one gets it. Not really.

Emma: No, I absolutely get it.

Me (thinking: But you don’t.):…

Alex: Where’s your dad?

Emma: Alex—

Me: No, don’t worry about it, it’s fine. My dad’s dead.

Alex: Sorry.

Emma: I’m very sorry.

Me: It’s honestly fine. I never met him.

Awkward silence, everyone eating for a minute.

Emma: Do you know much about him?

Me: Not really. My parents weren’t, like, together together. Mum only found out about me after he’d died.

Alex: That’s cool. He died, and you were born. Death is not the end.

Me: Well, it was for him.

Alex: I don’t think so.

Me: I do.

Alex (to Emma): What do you think?

Emma: I think you should tell us more about your KitchenAid. Because it’s your birthday, and today is about you.

Alex: I’m going to make ice cream in it.

Emma: That’s cool.

Alex: Did you know that Neapolitan ice