Little Dorrit by Charles Dickens (suggested reading .TXT) 📕

that all kinds of calamities happened to his country because it did things that England did not, and did not do things that England did. In this belief, to be sure, they had long been carefully trained by the Barnacles and Stiltstalkings, who were always proclaiming to them, officially, that no country which failed to submit itself to those two large families could possibly hope to be under the protection of Providence; and who, when they believed it, disparaged them in private as the most prejudiced people under the sun.

This, therefore, might be called a political position of the Bleeding Hearts; but they entertained other objections to having foreigners in the Yard. They believed that foreigners were always badly off; and though they were as ill off themselves as they could desire to be, that did not diminish the force of the objection. They believed that foreigners were dragooned and bayoneted; and though they certainly got their own skulls promptly fractured if they showed any ill-humour, still it was with a blunt instrument, and that didn’t count. They believed that foreigners were always immoral; and though they had an occasional assize at home, and now and then a divorce case or so, that had nothing to do with it. They believed that foreigners had no independent spirit, as never being escorted to the poll in droves by Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle, with colours flying and the tune of Rule Britannia playing. Not to be tedious, they had many other beliefs of a similar kind.

Against these obstacles, the lame foreigner with the stick had to make head as well as he could; not absolutely single-handed, because Mr. Arthur Clennam had recommended him to the Plornishes (he lived at the top of the same house), but still at heavy odds. However, the Bleeding Hearts were kind hearts; and when they saw the little fellow cheerily limping about with a good-humoured face, doing no harm, drawing no knives, committing no outrageous immoralities, living chiefly on farinaceous and milk diet, and playing with Mrs. Plornish’s children of an evening, they began to think that although he could never hope to be an Englishman, still it would be hard to visit that affliction on his head. They began to accommodate themselves to his level, calling him “Mr. Baptist,” but treating him like a baby, and laughing immoderately at his lively gestures and his childish English⁠—more, because he didn’t mind it, and laughed too. They spoke to him in very loud voices as if he were stone deaf. They constructed sentences, by way of teaching him the language in its purity, such as were addressed by the savages to Captain Cook, or by Friday to Robinson Crusoe. Mrs. Plornish was particularly ingenious in this art; and attained so much celebrity for saying “Me ope you leg well soon,” that it was considered in the Yard but a very short remove indeed from speaking Italian. Even Mrs. Plornish herself began to think that she had a natural call towards that language. As he became more popular, household objects were brought into requisition for his instruction in a copious vocabulary; and whenever he appeared in the Yard ladies would fly out at their doors crying “Mr. Baptist⁠—teapot!” “Mr. Baptist⁠—dustpan!” “Mr. Baptist⁠—flour-dredger!” “Mr. Baptist⁠—coffee-biggin!” At the same time exhibiting those articles, and penetrating him with a sense of the appalling difficulties of the Anglo-Saxon tongue.

It was in this stage of his progress, and in about the third week of his occupation, that Mr. Pancks’s fancy became attracted by the little man. Mounting to his attic, attended by Mrs. Plornish as interpreter, he found Mr. Baptist with no furniture but his bed on the ground, a table, and a chair, carving with the aid of a few simple tools, in the blithest way possible.

“Now, old chap,” said Mr. Pancks, “pay up!”

He had his money ready, folded in a scrap of paper, and laughingly handed it in; then with a free action, threw out as many fingers of his right hand as there were shillings, and made a cut crosswise in the air for an odd sixpence.

“Oh!” said Mr. Pancks, watching him, wonderingly. “That’s it, is it? You’re a quick customer. It’s all right. I didn’t expect to receive it, though.”

Mrs. Plornish here interposed with great condescension, and explained to Mr. Baptist. “ ’E please. ’E glad get money.”

The little man smiled and nodded. His bright face seemed uncommonly attractive to Mr. Pancks. “How’s he getting on in his limb?” he asked Mrs. Plornish.

“Oh, he’s a deal better, sir,” said Mrs. Plornish. “We expect next week he’ll be able to leave off his stick entirely.” (The opportunity being too favourable to be lost, Mrs. Plornish displayed her great accomplishment by explaining with pardonable pride to Mr. Baptist, “ ’E ope you leg well soon.”)

“He’s a merry fellow, too,” said Mr. Pancks, admiring him as if he were a mechanical toy. “How does he live?”

“Why, sir,” rejoined Mrs. Plornish, “he turns out to have quite a power of carving them flowers that you see him at now.” (Mr. Baptist, watching their faces as they spoke, held up his work. Mrs. Plornish interpreted in her Italian manner, on behalf of Mr. Pancks, “ ’E please. Double good!”)

“Can he live by that?” asked Mr. Pancks.

“He can live on very little, sir, and it is expected as he will be able, in time, to make a very good living. Mr. Clennam got it him to do, and gives him odd jobs besides in at the Works next door⁠—makes ’em for him, in short, when he knows he wants ’em.”

“And what does he do with himself, now, when he ain’t hard at it?” said Mr. Pancks.

“Why, not much as yet, sir, on accounts I suppose of not being able to walk much; but he goes about the Yard, and he chats without particular understanding or being understood, and he plays with the children, and he sits in the sun⁠—he’ll sit down anywhere, as if it was an armchair⁠—and he’ll sing, and he’ll laugh!”

“Laugh!” echoed Mr. Pancks. “He looks to me as if every tooth in his head was always laughing.”

“But whenever he gets to the top of the steps