Warsinger by James Baldwin (most important books of all time txt) 📕

turned down. “All I can say is… I really hope there’s a Warsinger that still works, and I really hope you find it before Baldr tries to invade Vlachia.”

Chapter 46

We planned to leave at night to avoid the worst of the desert heat, which meant I did get a short time to speak with Suri. My feet felt like lead as I shuffled to her room in the barracks. The rhythmic sound of a whetstone could be heard through the keyhole, so I knocked and waited.

“Hey, lover boy.” Suri opened the door inward, leaning against the frame. She was ready to leave: laced into her freshly polished black armor, her hair pinned back in readiness for the helmet resting on top of her bed. “Nice threads.”

“Same threads, but better.” I smiled. “Can I talk with you about something?”

Suri’s lips quirked, and she stepped aside to let me in. “What’s the matter?”

“Uhh…” I waited until she’d shut the door. She was still standing in front of it, which made me feel maybe a little trapped. “I need to get something off my chest about Karalti.”

She arched an eyebrow, and went back to sit back down. She was at her desk-turned-worktable, sharpening and repairing her weapons. “Is she alright?”

“Yeah. That’s the problem. She’s… growing up,” I said. “And I know you’ve assured me repeatedly that you’re fine with how close she and I have to be, but I’m struggling. Not just because I worry about you, and your feelings. I feel… I feel so fucking WEIRD around her, Suri. I don’t know what to do.”

“Something in particular bring this up?” Suri took up her whetstone, but didn’t start to use it just yet.

“The other night, when we got back from Litvy… she went into her first heat.” I began to pace. “And I… I got caught up.”

Her eyebrows arched up. “So what you’re saying is that you finally banged your dragon?”

Finally?! I flinched. “Not quite. I mean, yeah, it was headed that way until ‘surprise assassin!’.” I let out a tense laugh, not really feeling the humor. “I couldn’t help being drawn into it. I mean… maybe I could have, but it was like this feedback loop of fuck that kept cycling faster and faster, and I just… I wanted to own up to it, even if you’re okay with it. Because I’m not sure I am.”

Suri sighed, looked away, and after a moment, she set the stone down and leaned back in her chair. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you not okay with it?” she asked. “Because everyone else knew it was gonna happen.”

I looked over at her dumbly. “They… did?”

She swallowed a laugh, and cleared her throat instead. “Yeah. There was almost a betting pool on it. Me. Vash. Istvan. Fuckin’ Rin knew it, and she’s got the sex drive of a river rock – which is to say, none at all. I knew it was gonna happen from the day I met you and Karalti, and she was still just our little Tidbit and barely came up to our knees. When I say I went in knowin’ what to expect, I meant it.”

My mouth hung open. “But… I…”

“You did everything you could to be respectful and not a weirdo creep,” Suri said. “And if you’d been creeping on her when she was still growing up, we’d have had words. But you didn’t, and you weren’t, and now she’s an adult with drives and needs like any other adult woman. I was the one that taught her how to relieve herself, remember? I get it.”

For the first time in a long time, I blushed. Hard.

“Look, lover.” She leaned forward. “Even if I hated it – even if I was a right jealous bitch who wanted you all to myself – what the hell could I do about her? You and Karalti are linked at the brainstem. You share her thoughts and feelings, she shares your thoughts and feelings. She gets hungry when you do. You get her fuckin’ hot flashes, for fuck’s sake. You could love me more than anyone in the whole wide world, spend days in bed with me, raise some kids, and you and I would STILL never be as intimate with one another as you and her will be every day of your lives, for the rest of your lives. I can’t compete with that, so I won’t. I’ll love what I have, as much of it as I have, for as long as I have it.”

To my surprise - and, I admit, my embarrassment – I felt my eyes start to get hot. Suri reached for my hands, and I let her take them. She smiled, and squeezed them tightly… and as she did, I felt something that was almost a shadow of the Bond pass between us.

“She’s, uh…” My voice was dry and husky, and I had to pause to cough. “She’s going to go into heat again, soon. I can tell. If you're making bets, place them for sooner rather than later.”

“Hopefully while we’re not down in Al-Asad,” Suri said. “That might be a bit awkward.”

That choked a laugh out of me, and the laughter broke the spell. I leaned in and kissed her, lingering over her lips, then stood up straight. “Thanks. I mean it. It’s not going to get rid of the guilt, but next time I feel guilty, I’ll remember what you said.”

“Good.” Suri got to her feet, her armor clanking as it settled. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.” I smoothed back a strand of her hair from her face, and stepped back. “You?”

She nodded, her golden eyes clear and determined. “Yeah. It’s funny… after seeing Nicolas and Jacob outside of Al-Asad, it hit me. The prison’s really gone. There’s only ruins left now.”

***

The place where Bhakat Kasir had stood was now a gargantuan sinkhole plunging into the earth. The desert surrounding the ruins of the fortress poured over the sides of the hole like the Niagara Falls. The destruction had revealed the