Here Be Dragons - 1 by Sharon Penman (best inspirational books txt) 📕

ease "Whether she was lying or not, Llewelyn had no way of knowing But Joanna was free of pain for the first time in many hours Her queasiness had mercifully abated, too, and with Branwen's help, she was even able to walk the few steps into the privy chamber When she emerged, Llewelyn put his arm around her, slowly steered her toward a chair She leaned so heavily upon him that his fears came rushing back, as weak as she was, how much more could she endure7"Llewelyn, I'm afraid"I know, love, I know "" afraid you shall be disappointed You see, I think the babe may be a girlDame Meryl said sons are more easily birthed than this "He could not answer her at once, made mute by the utter intensity of his relief His greatest fear was that she would lose heart, would begin to look upon death as a release, he'd watched too many men die because dying was easier than suffering But if Joanna had indeed been teetering upon that precipice, she had pulled back in time, had found new reserves of courage to draw upon, to see her child born"I expect we can make do with a daughter if we must," he said, tenderly teasing, and kissed her swollen eyelids, the corner of her mouthThe respite was brief, as Dame Rhagnell had predicted, Joanna's pains soon resumed As the contractions increased in frequency and mtensity, Dame Meryl stripped off Joanna's bloodied chemise, began to massage her abdomen Joanna was groaning, taking deep gulpingDeaths, but she was not fighting the pain, was going with it, so intent upon her body's inner directives that she no longer seemed aware of levvelyn an(^ *ne midwives She gasped, digging her nails into Llewe-yn s wrist, and suddenly he could see the child's head Joanna's body°nvulsed again, and the baby's shoulders appeared, it slid between her'8ns into the eager waiting hands of the midwife« happened so quickly that Llewelyn was taken almost by surprise c " °nly a fleeting glimpse of a small dark shape, skin puckered and5 ,ered Wlth what looked like slime, bloodied and bruised, and he felt a"orror that Joanna should have suffered so, only to give birth to a

294dead child. But then the infant made a mewing sound, and the midvvife held it up with a cry of triumph."A man-child," she exulted. "You've a son, my lord, a son!"Llewelyn reached out, touched one of the tiny waving fists, and laughed. The midwives did, too, for the birth of a male child called up instinctive and ancient loyalties, and they rejoiced in being able to present a son to the man who was their Prince. Joanna was all but forgotten until she demanded weakly, "Give me my son."Dame Meryl started to do so, instead handed the wet, squirming infant toLlewelyn, and it was he who laid the baby against Joanna's breast.Joanna had never before felt for anyone, not even Elen, what she now felt as she held her son for the first time, a fierce, passionate tenderness, love immediate and overwhelming. "He's so beautiful," she whispered, and Llewelyn laughed again, for he thought the baby could not have been uglier, splotched and red and smeared with his own feces, with his mother's blood. Joanna looked up as he laughed, and smiled at him, a smile he would remember for the rest of his life. But then she jerked spasmodically, groaned.One of the midwives grabbed for the baby, at once tied and cut through the navel cord, while the other pressed down upon Joanna's belly. Blood was spurting down Joanna's thighs, clotting on the floor. But Branwen was already at Llewelyn's side, Branwen who knew Tangwystl had bled to death, saying hastily, "It is not what you fear, my lord. The afterbirth does come, that be all."He saw she was right, soon saw a soft, spongy mass expelled into Dame Meryl's outstretched hands. She caught it deftly, scooped it into a waiting blanket."It must be kept, must be properly buried," she explained, "lest it attract demons." Then she added, with more mischief than malice, "Should you like to look at it, my lord?""Not really," Llewelyn said, and when he grinned, she grinned back.Dame Rhagnell now laid the baby back in Joanna's arms. "You may hold him for a few moments, Madame, but then he must be cleaned and rubbed with salt, must have his gums rubbed with honey."Llewelyn stood watching his wife and son, not aware of Branwen until she had twice touched his arm. "Here, my lord," she said, handing him a goblet full of mead. "Is it not a wondrous thing, to see your child born?"He nodded. "Indeed. But I'll tell you what is no less wondrous to me right now. That after a woman endures all this, why she is then willing to let any man ever again get within ten feet of her bed!" Although he spoke partly in jest, he was partly in earnest, too, and tn

295omen recognized it, legitimized with lusty, approving laughter his brief incursion into a secret inner realm, the world within a world of women.VVHEN Joanna awoke, the chamber was deep in shadows. She started to sit up, grimaced, and sank back weakly against the pillow. At once Llewelyn was beside her, leaning over the bed."How do you feel, love?""I ache all over." To her dismay, she was suddenly shy with him, suddenly fearful that he might feel differently toward her now. "I wanted you so much,"she confessed, "even begged the midwives to send for you when the pains got too bad. They said they could not, that it was not seemly, that a man would be sickened by the birthing ...""Joanna, I was fifteen the first time I killed a man. In the years since, I've seen men gutted, beheaded, hacked to pieces. I rather think there is more blood on the battlefield than in the birthing chamber," he said wryly, and when she raised