Harbor by John Lindqvist (classic novels for teens txt) 📕

he had only heard fragments of what they had been telling him.

‘Anders,’ said Simon. ‘You can’t stay down there in the Shack while…all this is going on.’

Anna-Greta finished off, ‘You’re staying here.’

Anders nodded for a long time, then said, ‘Thank you. That’s great. Thank you.’ He looked at Simon. ‘Thank you for everything.’

Why didn’t you let me sink?

When Simon continued to look at him suspiciously, Anders searched his memory for some detail that would make it sound as ifhe had been listening. He found it and added, ‘It’s unbelievable, all that business with…Spiritus.’

‘Yes,’ said Simon, but the tense, watchful atmosphere did not ease. Anders realised he wasn’t performing very well, and that it had been noticed. If this went on, the conversation would take a new turn and he didn’t want that. He let his body slump and said, ‘I’m absolutely shattered.’

That at least was true, and the reaction was exactly what he had hoped for. Anna-Greta went to make up the bed in the guest room and Anders remained in the kitchen with Simon.

‘Is there any more brandy?’ asked Anders, just for the sake of something to say, and Simon fetched the bottle and poured him another drink. Anders took note of where the bottle was kept, in case he might need a drink to help him carry out his plan.

He knocked back the contents of the glass and it had no effect whatsoever, it merely went down and was dispersed into the darkness of his body. Simon was still looking at him, he seemed to be on the point of asking a question but Anders forestalled him by taking up another of the threads he remembered from their story.

‘It’s strange about the Bergwalls,’ he said. ‘The fact that they all seem to have been…influenced.’

To his relief Simon took the bait. ‘I’ve thought about that a lot,’ he said. ‘Why only certain people have been affected. Elin, the Bergwalls, Karl-Erik. And you.’

Before Anders could stop himself he had said it. ‘She’s gone.’

Simon leaned across the table. ‘Who’s gone?’

Anders could have bitten his tongue, but he shrugged his shoulders and tried to say it as casually as possible. ‘She’s left me. Maja. I’m free. Everything’s fine.’

He heard Anna-Greta’s footsteps coming down the stairs and stood up, folded the blanket over the back of the chair. Simon also got to his feet, and Anders precluded any possible follow-up questions by going over to him and giving him a hug. ‘Good night, Simon. Thanks for this evening.’

Anders didn’t feel remotely tearful as Simon patted his back and hugged him in return. The decision had been made with such clarity that he was already dead in every meaningful sense. It was merely a question of establishing the time and place for his death in the physical world.

Anna-Greta went through the arrangements for the following day and Anders nodded at everything. It was easy. Everything was generally much easier when you were dead, he noticed. It was the perfect solution, a miracle cure. Everybody should try it. On his way upstairs he glanced over at the door to the hidey-hole.

When?

As soon as possible. The vague euphoria currently floating in his chest wouldn’t last long, he realised that. If he postponed the deed, the roaring, bottomless darkness would return. It had to happen soon, very soon.

He could hear Simon and Anna-Greta’s voices downstairs as he went into the guest room across from Anna-Greta’s room. She had put out some clothes for him to borrow for the following day. He undressed and got into bed, feeling as excited as a child the night before its birthday, he could see Maja in his mind’s eye, jumping up and down in bed and ripping open her presents while she—

No. Go away. Go away.

He felt a stab of pain in his chest as he pushed away the picture of Maja and evoked the taste of metal on his tongue, felt his lips closing around the barrel of the gun, his finger on the trigger. He sucked on the image and was at peace once more.

A little while later he heard Anna-Greta and Simon come upstairs and go into the room opposite. By this stage he was so far into his own death that he really did slip away from this world, and fell asleep.

Divining rod

‘You old fool, how did you come up with such a thing?’

‘It just felt as if it was time.’

‘Was it your idea?’

Simon hesitated. Göran laughed and patted him on the shoulder. ‘No, I thought not. It’s not like you at all. But it’s very much like Anna-Greta!’

Simon pulled a face and said childishly, ‘Yes, but I want to get married too.’

‘Yes, yes, I don’t doubt that,’ said Göran. ‘But I just found it difficult to picture you…going down on one knee.’

Simon glanced at Göran’s stiff legs and awkward gait. ‘I find it difficult to picture you going down on one knee as well.’

They emerged from the forest and headed down towards Kattudden. The worst of the devastation had been cleared away, but when they cut across the Carlgrens’ garden, where the outhouse had been damaged by some of the trees that had had to be felled, they had to pick their way among lopped-off branches and rough wood that would presumably lie there for some time. Göran kicked an empty plastic bottle out of the way and said, ‘I wonder if there’s any point, really.’

‘In what?’

‘Well, we’ve tried to keep a bit of a watch out here at night. So that nothing else will happen. But I mean, we can’t go on like this forever.’

‘You’re thinking about your own cottage?’

‘Yes. If this carries on, I imagine that’s bound to go as well, eventually. Unless we catch them, of course.’

Göran’s cottage was at the southern end of Kattudden. A line of trees separated it from the area Holger’s father had sold to the broker. However, Simon understood Göran’s unease. With a big fire and the wind in the wrong direction, the flames would soon reach