Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

later we’re laying here in the same hospital bed broken, and crazy in love with each other.” All this crying, you’d think I’d be out of tears already. “I heard you tell me that you loved me before I went into that deep sleep. I want you to know that I never blamed you for what Jackson did to me. It wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s fault.”

I want him to talk to me. I need to hear his voice. I want him to hear my voice, and come back to me like I did when I heard his. He’s the reason why I’m still alive. “Please don’t leave me” I beg. I kiss him on his lips. “Stay with me” I whisper. “Come back to me Eli.” I kiss him on his forehead, his nose, his cheeks, chin. Then I kiss him again and again on his lips. “You promised me bookshelves and a million books. Who’s going to build them with me?” I cry even harder. I’m not sure if he ever actually told me that, but for some reason it feels like a memory. “You have to come back to me, we have plans. How am I supposed to give you your eight children if you’re not going to be here? Which by the way is a lot of kids and we shall negotiate on numbers when you wake up Mister.”

I wipe the tears off my face. It hurts to move, but I don’t care. I need him to hear me. I need him to fight for us. We’ve come too far for things to end like this. “You were sent to me Eli. You were meant to find me. I want everything with you, good and bad. Everything that is you I want it all, but you have to want it too. I won’t let you give up now, do you hear me? I’m not letting you go like this. If you’re going to die it’s going to be because of old age, nothing else.” I hold his face in my hands and kiss him again. I lean my forehead on his and whisper “Come find me. However long you need to rest I don’t care, but you’re going to wake up and you’re going to come find me. I will always wait for you. Even if it means I have to wait forever.”

I lay my head back down and reach for his hand, placing it gently on my chest. Inhale. Exhale. “Feel my heartbeat Eli, my heart only beats like that for you, Emma and Baby Eli. My heart can’t only have half a beat. I need my heart to beat like this, Eli.” My heart is heavy, my eyes can't stay opened, and my body hurts. I should ask for some medicine, but if he’s laying here in pain, then I will deal with mine. I’m not going to let him hurt alone. I can feel myself shutting down. I lift his hand to my lips and I kiss every single finger, I turn his hand and I kiss the inside of his wrist. I lay his hand on my chest and say “I love you forever Elijah Hunter.”

I have to prepare myself for the worst. I don’t want to, but I have to. I don’t want him to suffer if he’s not able to fight anymore, but I’m selfish and I am not going to give up on him now. “Just a few more days my love, just give me a few more days.” Then I fall asleep to the sound of his beating heart.

I’m released the next day and I never leave the hospital. I move a few doors down to stay with Eli. I know I need my rest, and I need to heal, but there is no way I was going to leave him, no way. I help his mother with little things like bathing him and keeping her company. We even pray together and it helps with the ache I’m feeling. It doesn’t matter that we’re in the same room, sleeping in the same bed, I miss him.

It’s been a whole week since we’ve been in the hospital, and I’m starting to accept that I have to let him go. I asked him for a few days, and he’s given me that. I can’t be selfish anymore, I know he’s holding on because I asked him to, and I can’t let him suffer anymore. The doctor tells us that he’s getting weaker, and his brain is running on fumes and it breaks my heart. But I have to be strong for Eliza. We both know that it’s his time to let go. His mother is willing to give me a couple more days, but I know it’s breaking her to see him like this and I can’t ask her to do that.

Everyone comes to visit him every day, including Michael. He keeps Emma while I stay here, and she understands why I have to be here. Emma spends most of her days here with us because she wants to be here for Eli too, then she leaves when her dad comes to pick her up. He’s been an amazing help. I can tell that Emma is in love with her dad, and that’s okay because he’s supposed to be her first love, just how Daddy was mine. Emma being happy makes me happy.

Becca and I are slowly rebuilding our friendship; things aren’t awkward anymore. She’s around our family more and the guys have developed a soft spot for her.. Surprisingly, my sister’s been helping her a lot with little things and I love her for it. Mona? Let’s just say that she’s cool with her, but she still doesn’t like Becca.

Reese and Leila have been amazing. Have I mentioned how much I love them? Because I do. They’ve been the two people who’ve been helping me through this. They were the closest people in Eli’s life and it