Pieces of Me by Pua Ramona (small books to read txt) 📕

makes me feel closer to him to have them around and makes the pain a little bit easier to deal with.

Mama has been a huge help not only for me, but for Eliza too. They’ve been spending a lot more time together and it’s helped them both in ways that I couldn’t even explain. I guess you could say that they were each other’s best friend, and it makes things easier for Eliza to deal with. We’ve a set date for Micah’s funeral, and I’ve decided to bury our son’s ashes with him because I know that they’re together and it helps put my heart at ease. I decide to cremate baby Elijah because it’s the right thing to do for us. There’s too much going on, and we don’t want to have to deal with too much stress, so we decide to keep things simple for our family.

We haven’t heard from anyone from Daddy’s side of the family since everything happened, which was probably best for right now. But I think what hurts me a little is that I haven’t heard from June-Bug. I don’t want him to think that I’m angry with him because I’m not. I’ve called him several times and left a message, but I figured he’ll reach out to me when he’s ready. I just want him to know that he’s still my brother and that I still love him. The only one’s that've been here to visit us are Grandpa Tali and Auntie Claire. They have been a huge help with the funeral arrangements along with Mama’s side of the family. I guess you could say that life is working itself out on it’s own. Except, the days are creeping by and no amount of planning, or distractions can ease the pain in my chest. I am dreading saying goodbye to Eli.

“Sweetie, your grandfather’s here to see you,” Mama Hunter says from the door of Eli’s room. I wipe my tears away and I kiss him before I climb out of bed. She pulls me in for a hug and I do everything I can to stop myself from crying. “I know sweetie, I know.” Eliza kisses me on my temple and reaches for Eli’s hand, placing a kiss there too. “I love you my son” she whispers as she walks out of the room.

I pull an extra chair next to the bed and put it in the spot that Grandpa Tali has claimed as his own. He said he sits by the window with his back to the sun because it’s when he feels the closest to God. I asked him why he would face his back to God and he answered “Because if I should ever fall, He’ll always be there to catch me.” I’ve never thought about it that way, but it makes sense and for some reason knowing that helps calm my heart. I move my chair next to his and I walk to the door to help him to his chair.

“You’re going to have to stop treating me like an old man little Sina.”

I smile and kiss him on his cheek. “Hi Grandpa.”

He takes a breath and says, “Can I get something to drink?” I have a couple of cold water bottles so I grab one for him. I pour it in one of the cups that I have and hand it to him. He smiles as I sit down and reach for Eli’s hand. “Ua mai oe?” Grandpa asks. I shrug my shoulders, I wasn’t fine but he knows that. “Talk to me. What’s on your mind?” he asks.

One thing that I have always loved about my grandfather is that he never has anything to say, but is an amazing listener. He reminds me a lot of Daddy and it’s probably why I’m close to my grandfather. He sits his cup on the table and reaches for my hand. I lace my fingers through his because I need him to let me know that things are going to be okay. My grandfather has witnessed a lot and knows more about life than anyone else I know.

“I’m not going to tell you that it’s going to be okay, because I don’t know what’s going to happen. But I will tell you that after all the tests the doctors did, God is and will always be the healer of everything, His words are our medicine” he says.

“But I’m tired,” I tell him.

“You know why you’re tired? You’re tired because you’re giving up. You’re tired because as much as you pray, you don’t believe your words. You’re tired because you think you’re being selfish by fighting for this boy and for telling him to not give up.” He pauses and says,“Salamo 27:1.”

I look at him. “I want to hear you recite that verse right now” Grandpa says and I know there is no point to trying to stop myself from crying so I just let the tears fall.

“Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and salvation, whom should I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid.”

“Philippians 4:6” he says next.

“Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but everything, by prayer and supplication with gratitude, make your requests known to God.” I recite back to him.

“1 Korinito 13:13.” He says again.

“1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remains; Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is Love.” My grandfather gives me scriptures from the Bible to recite and I understand why he does it.

He knew that I had forgotten about my faith and hope. I may have been praying, but I know now that somewhere down the line I stopped believing my own words. “Do you understand now Sina? You didn’t forget, you just stopped believing” he says. Grandpa looks over to Eli then looks back at me and says,“You keep fighting for him. It doesn’t matter what those papers say, you fight for him.”

He holds my face in his papery