He Who Gets Slapped by Leonid Andreyev (children's ebooks free online .TXT) 📕

What a comedy! What a touching comedy! Listen. Tell me frankly if you can; do you hate me very much? Gentleman Yes! With all the hate there is in the world! Sit down here. He You order me? Gentleman Sit down here. Thank you. Bows. I am respected and I am famous, yes? I have a wife and a son, yes. Laughs slowly. My wife still loves you: our favourite discussion is about your genius. She supposes you are a genius. We, I and she, love you even when we are in bed. Tss! It is I who must make faces. My son⁠—yes, he’ll resemble you. And when, in order to have a little rest, I go to my desk, to my ink-pot, my books⁠—there, too, I find you. Always you! Everywhere you! And I am never alone⁠—never myself and alone. And when at night⁠—you, sir, should understand this⁠—when at night I go to my lonely thoughts, to my sleepless contemplations, even then I find your image in my head, in my unfortunate brain, your damned and hateful image! Silence. The gentleman’s eyes twitch. He Speaking slowly. What a comedy. How marvellously everything is turned about in this world: the robbed proves to be a robber, and the robber is complaining of theft, and cursing! Laughs. Listen, I was mistaken. You are not my shadow. You are the crowd. If you live by my creations, you hate me; if you breathe my breath, you are choking with anger. And choking with anger, hating me, you still walk slowly on the trail of my ideas. But you are advancing backward, advancing backward, comrade! Oh, what a marvellous comedy! Walking and smiling. Tell me, would you be relieved if I really had died? Gentleman Yes! I think so. Death augments distance and dulls the memory. Death reconciles. But you do not look like a man who⁠— He Yes, yes! Death, certainly! Gentleman Sit down here. He Your obedient servant. Yes? Gentleman Certainly, I do not dare to ask you⁠—makes a grimace to ask you to die, but tell me: you’ll never come back there? No, don’t laugh. If you want me to, I’ll kiss your hand. Don’t grimace! I would have done so if you had died. He Slowly. Get out, vermin! Enter Tilly and Polly as in the first act, playing. For a long time they do not see the two men. He Jack! Tilly Ah! Good morning, He. We are rehearsing. You know it is very hard. Jack has just about as much music in his head as my pig. He Introducing, nonchalantly. My friend.⁠ ⁠… For the benefit performance? The clowns bow to the gentleman, making idiotic faces. Polly Yes. What are you preparing? You are cunning, He! Consuelo told me what you are preparing for the benefit performance. She leaves us soon, you know? He Is that so? Tilly Zinida told us. Do you think she would get a benefit performance otherwise? She is a nice girl. Polly Taking his small flute-pipe. Here! Don’t walk as if you were an elephant. Don’t forget you are an ant! Come on! They go off, playing. Gentleman Smiling. These are your new comrades? How strange they are! He Everything here is strange. Gentleman This suit of yours. Black used to be very becoming to you. This one hurts the eyes. He Looking himself over. Why? It looks very nice. The rehearsal has begun. You must go away. You are disturbing us. Gentleman You did not answer my question. Slow strains of the Tango from a small orchestra in the ring. He Listening absentmindedly to the music. What question? Gentleman Who does not hear the music. I pray you to tell me: will you ever come back? He Listening to the music. Never, never, never! Gentleman Getting up. Thank you. I am going. He Never, never, never! Yes, run along. And don’t come back. There you were still bearable and useful for something, but here you are superfluous. Gentleman But if something should happen to you⁠ ⁠… you are a healthy man, but in this environment, these people⁠ ⁠… how will I know? They don’t know your name here? He My name here is unknown, but you will know. Anything else? Gentleman I can be at peace? On your word of honour? Of course I mean, comparatively, at peace? He Yes, you may be comparatively at peace. Never! They walk to the door, the gentleman stops. Gentleman May I come to the circus? You will allow me? He Certainly. You are the audience! Laughs. But I shan’t give you my card for a pass. But why do you want to come? Or do you like the circus so much, and since when? Gentleman I want to look at you some more, and to understand, perhaps. Such a transformation! Knowing you as I do, I cannot admit that you are here without any idea. But what idea? Looks short-sightedly at He. He grimaces and thumbs his nose. Gentleman What is that? He My idea! Goodbye, Prince! My regards to your respected wife, your Highness’ wonderful son! Enter Mancini. Mancini You positively live in the circus, He. Whenever I come, you are here. You are a fanatic in your work, sir. He Introducing. Prince Poniatovsky, Count Mancini. Mancini Drawing himself up. Very, very glad. And you too, Prince, you know my queer fellow? What a nice face he has, hasn’t he? He touches He’s shoulder patronizingly, with the tip of his cane. Gentleman Awkwardly. Yes, I have the pleasure⁠ ⁠… certainly. Goodbye, Count. Mancini Good day, Prince. He Accompanying him. Look out, your Highness, for the dark passages: the steps are so rotten. Unfortunately I cannot usher you out to the street. Gentleman In a low voice. You will not give me your hand when we say goodbye? We are parting forever. He Unnecessary, Prince. I shall still hope to meet you in the Kingdom of Heaven. I trust you will be there, too? Gentleman With disgust. How you did succeed! You have so much of the clown in you!