In the middle of the 1885 Serbo-Bulgarian war, an enemy soldier escapes a cavalry charge by climbing up a drainpipe into Raina Petkoff’s room. Raina is the daughter of one Major and engaged to another, but she chooses to save the soldier’s life by concealing him.
Arms and the Man, named after the opening lines of Virgil’sThe Aeneid, is a play that humorously deals with the hypocrisy of humanity and the stupidity of war. It was among George Bernard Shaw’s first commercial successes, and was included in a collection of plays he referred to as Plays Pleasant, along with Candida, You Never Can Tell, and The Man of Destiny. Having coined the term “chocolate soldier,” the play has been staged multiple times in London’s West End and on Broadway, and has been adapted into operetta and film.
of sight.
Catherine
Looking after her, her fingers itching. Oh, if you were only ten years younger! Louka comes from the house with a salver, which she carries hanging down by her side. Well?
Louka
There’s a gentleman just called, madam—a Serbian officer—
Catherine
Flaming. A Serbian! How dare he—Checking herself bitterly. Oh, I forgot. We are at peace now. I suppose we shall have them calling every day to pay their compliments. Well, if he is an officer why don’t you tell your master? He is in the library with Major Saranoff. Why do you come to me?
Louka
But he asks for you, madam. And I don’t think he knows who you are: he said the lady of the house. He gave me this little ticket for you. She takes a card out of her bosom; puts it on the salver and offers it to Catherine.
Catherine
Reading. “Captain Bluntschli!” That’s a German name.
Louka
Swiss, madam, I think.
Catherine
With a bound that makes Louka jump back. Swiss! What is he like?
Louka
Timidly. He has a big carpet bag, madam.
Catherine
Oh, Heavens, he’s come to return the coat! Send him away—say we’re not at home—ask him to leave his address and I’ll write to him—Oh, stop: that will never do. Wait! She throws herself into a chair to think it out. Louka waits. The master and Major Saranoff are busy in the library, aren’t they?
Louka
Yes, madam.
Catherine
Decisively. Bring the gentleman out here at once. Imperatively. And be very polite to him. Don’t delay. Here Impatiently snatching the salver from her: leave that here; and go straight back to him.
Louka
Yes, madam. Going.
Catherine
Louka!
Louka
Stopping. Yes, madam.
Catherine
Is the library door shut?
Louka
I think so, madam.
Catherine
If not, shut it as you pass through.
Louka
Yes, madam. Going.
Catherine
Stop! Louka stops. He will have to go out that way Indicating the gate of the stable yard. Tell Nicola to bring his bag here after him. Don’t forget.
Louka
Surprised. His bag?
Catherine
Yes, here, as soon as possible. Vehemently. Be quick! Louka runs into the house. Catherine snatches her apron off and throws it behind a bush. She then takes up the salver and uses it as a mirror, with the result that the handkerchief tied round her head follows the apron. A touch to her hair and a shake to her dressing gown makes her presentable. Oh, how—how—how can a man be such a fool! Such a moment to select! Louka appears at the door of the house, announcing “Captain Bluntschli;” and standing aside at the top of the steps to let him pass before she goes in again. He is the man of the adventure in Raina’s room. He is now clean, well brushed, smartly uniformed, and out of trouble, but still unmistakably the same man. The moment Louka’s back is turned, Catherine swoops on him with hurried, urgent, coaxing appeal. Captain Bluntschli, I am very glad to see you; but you must leave this house at once. He raises his eyebrows. My husband has just returned, with my future son-in-law; and they know nothing. If they did, the consequences would be terrible. You are a foreigner: you do not feel our national animosities as we do. We still hate the Serbians: the only effect of the peace on my husband is to make him feel like a lion baulked of his prey. If he discovered our secret, he would never forgive me; and my daughter’s life would hardly be safe. Will you, like the chivalrous gentleman and soldier you are, leave at once before he finds you here?
Bluntschli
Disappointed, but philosophical. At once, gracious lady. I only came to thank you and return the coat you lent me. If you will allow me to take it out of my bag and leave it with your servant as I pass out, I need detain you no further. He turns to go into the house.
Catherine
Catching him by the sleeve. Oh, you must not think of going back that way. Coaxing him across to the stable gates. This is the shortest way out. Many thanks. So glad to have been of service to you. Goodbye.
Bluntschli
But my bag?
Catherine
It will be sent on. You will leave me your address.
Bluntschli
True. Allow me. He takes out his card-case, and stops to write his address, keeping Catherine in an agony of impatience. As he hands her the card, Petkoff, hatless, rushes from the house in a fluster of hospitality, followed by Sergius.
Petkoff
As he hurries down the steps. My dear Captain Bluntschli—
Catherine
Oh Heavens! She sinks on the seat against the wall.
Petkoff
Too preoccupied to notice her as he shakes Bluntschli’s hand heartily. Those stupid people of mine thought I was out here, instead of in the—haw!—library. He cannot mention the library without betraying how proud he is of it. I saw you through the window. I was wondering why you didn’t come in. Saranoff is with me: you remember him, don’t you?
Sergius
Saluting humorously, and then offering his hand with great charm of manner. Welcome, our friend the enemy!
Petkoff
No longer the enemy, happily. Rather anxiously. I hope you’ve come as a friend, and not on business.
Catherine
Oh, quite as a friend, Paul. I was just asking Captain Bluntschli to stay to lunch; but he declares he must go at once.
Sergius
Sardonically. Impossible, Bluntschli. We want you here badly. We have to send on three cavalry regiments to Phillipopolis; and we don’t in the least know how to do it.
Bluntschli
Suddenly attentive and businesslike. Phillipopolis! The forage is the trouble, eh?
Petkoff
Eagerly. Yes, that’s it. To Sergius. He sees the whole thing at once.
Bluntschli
I think I can show you how to manage that.
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