In the middle of the 1885 Serbo-Bulgarian war, an enemy soldier escapes a cavalry charge by climbing up a drainpipe into Raina Petkoff’s room. Raina is the daughter of one Major and engaged to another, but she chooses to save the soldier’s life by concealing him.
Arms and the Man, named after the opening lines of Virgil’sThe Aeneid, is a play that humorously deals with the hypocrisy of humanity and the stupidity of war. It was among George Bernard Shaw’s first commercial successes, and was included in a collection of plays he referred to as Plays Pleasant, along with Candida, You Never Can Tell, and The Man of Destiny. Having coined the term “chocolate soldier,” the play has been staged multiple times in London’s West End and on Broadway, and has been adapted into operetta and film.
pretend to talk indifferently before her: my heart is too full. Louka comes from the house with her tray. She goes to the table, and begins to clear it, with her back turned to them. I will go and get my hat; and then we can go out until lunch time. Wouldn’t you like that?
Sergius
Be quick. If you are away five minutes, it will seem five hours. Raina runs to the top of the steps and turns there to exchange a look with him and wave him a kiss with both hands. He looks after her with emotion for a moment, then turns slowly away, his face radiant with the exultation of the scene which has just passed. The movement shifts his field of vision, into the corner of which there now comes the tail of Louka’s double apron. His eye gleams at once. He takes a stealthy look at her, and begins to twirl his moustache nervously, with his left hand akimbo on his hip. Finally, striking the ground with his heels in something of a cavalry swagger, he strolls over to the left of the table, opposite her, and says, Louka: do you know what the higher love is?
Louka
Astonished. No, sir.
Sergius
Very fatiguing thing to keep up for any length of time, Louka. One feels the need of some relief after it.
Louka
Innocently. Perhaps you would like some coffee, sir? She stretches her hand across the table for the coffee pot.
Sergius
Taking her hand. Thank you, Louka.
Louka
Pretending to pull. Oh, sir, you know I didn’t mean that. I’m surprised at you!
Sergius
Coming clear of the table and drawing her with him. I am surprised at myself, Louka. What would Sergius, the hero of Slivnitza, say if he saw me now? What would Sergius, the apostle of the higher love, say if he saw me now? What would the half dozen Sergiuses who keep popping in and out of this handsome figure of mine say if they caught us here? Letting go her hand and slipping his arm dexterously round her waist. Do you consider my figure handsome, Louka?
Louka
Let me go, sir. I shall be disgraced. She struggles: he holds her inexorably. Oh, will you let go?
Sergius
Looking straight into her eyes. No.
Louka
Then stand back where we can’t be seen. Have you no common sense?
Sergius
Ah, that’s reasonable. He takes her into the stableyard gateway, where they are hidden from the house.
Louka
Complaining. I may have been seen from the windows: Miss Raina is sure to be spying about after you.
Sergius
Stung—letting her go. Take care, Louka. I may be worthless enough to betray the higher love; but do not you insult it.
Louka
Demurely. Not for the world, sir, I’m sure. May I go on with my work please, now?
Sergius
Again putting his arm round her. You are a provoking little witch, Louka. If you were in love with me, would you spy out of windows on me?
Louka
Well, you see, sir, since you say you are half a dozen different gentlemen all at once, I should have a great deal to look after.
Sergius
Charmed. Witty as well as pretty. He tries to kiss her.
Louka
Avoiding him. No, I don’t want your kisses. Gentlefolk are all alike—you making love to me behind Miss Raina’s back, and she doing the same behind yours.
Sergius
Recoiling a step. Louka!
Louka
It shows how little you really care!
Sergius
Dropping his familiarity and speaking with freezing politeness. If our conversation is to continue, Louka, you will please remember that a gentleman does not discuss the conduct of the lady he is engaged to with her maid.
Louka
It’s so hard to know what a gentleman considers right. I thought from your trying to kiss me that you had given up being so particular.
Sergius
Turning from her and striking his forehead as he comes back into the garden from the gateway. Devil! devil!
Louka
Ha! ha! I expect one of the six of you is very like me, sir, though I am only Miss Raina’s maid. She goes back to her work at the table, taking no further notice of him.
Sergius
Speaking to himself. Which of the six is the real man?—that’s the question that torments me. One of them is a hero, another a buffoon, another a humbug, another perhaps a bit of a blackguard. He pauses and looks furtively at Louka, as he adds with deep bitterness, And one, at least, is a coward—jealous, like all cowards. He goes to the table. Louka.
Louka
Yes?
Sergius
Who is my rival?
Louka
You shall never get that out of me, for love or money.
Sergius
Why?
Louka
Never mind why. Besides, you would tell that I told you; and I should lose my place.
Sergius
Holding out his right hand in affirmation. No; on the honor of a—He checks himself, and his hand drops nerveless as he concludes, sardonically,—of a man capable of behaving as I have been behaving for the last five minutes. Who is he?
Louka
I don’t know. I never saw him. I only heard his voice through the door of her room.
Sergius
Damnation! How dare you?
Louka
Retreating. Oh, I mean no harm: you’ve no right to take up my words like that. The mistress knows all about it. And I tell you that if that gentleman ever comes here again, Miss Raina will marry him, whether he likes it or not. I know the difference between the sort of manner you and she put on before one another and the real manner. Sergius shivers as if she had stabbed him. Then, setting his face like iron, he strides grimly to her, and grips her above the elbows with both bands.
Sergius
Now listen you to me!
Louka
Wincing. Not so tight: you’re hurting me!
Sergius
That doesn’t matter. You have stained my
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