Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare (pdf to ebook reader TXT) 📕

you
Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,
Lest that it make me so unsound a man
As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
That I have done for you. Viola

I know of none;
Nor know I you by voice or any feature:
I hate ingratitude more in a man
Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
Inhabits our frail blood.

Antonio O heavens themselves! Second Officer Come, sir, I pray you, go. Antonio

Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
I snatch’d one half out of the jaws of death,
Relieved him with such sanctity of love,
And to his image, which methought did promise
Most venerable worth, did I devotion.

First Officer What’s that to us? The time goes by: away! Antonio

But O how vile an idol proves this god!
Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
In nature there’s no blemish but the mind;
None can be call’d deform’d but the unkind:
Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil
Are empty trunks o’erflourish’d by the devil.

First Officer The man grows mad: away with him! Come, come, sir. Antonio Lead me on. Exit with Officers. Viola

Methinks his words do from such passion fly,
That he believes himself: so do not I.
Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
That I, dear brother, be now ta’en for you!

Sir Toby Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian: we’ll whisper o’er a couplet or two of most sage saws. Viola

He named Sebastian: I my brother know
Yet living in my glass; even such and so
In favour was my brother, and he went
Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,
For him I imitate: O, if it prove,
Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love. Exit.

Sir Toby A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in necessity and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Fabian A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. Sir Andrew ’Slid, I’ll after him again and beat him. Sir Toby Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword. Sir Andrew An I do not⁠—Exit. Fabian Come, let’s see the event. Sir Toby I dare lay any money ’twill be nothing yet. Exeunt. Act IV Scene I

Before Olivia’s house.

Enter Sebastian and Clown. Clown Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you? Sebastian

Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow:
Let me be clear of thee.

Clown Well held out, i’ faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so is so. Sebastian

I prithee, vent thy folly somewhere else:
Thou know’st not me.

Clown Vent my folly! he has heard that word of some great man and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness and tell me what I shall vent to my lady: shall I vent to her that thou art coming? Sebastian

I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me:
There’s money for thee: if you tarry longer,
I shall give worse payment.

Clown By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report⁠—after fourteen years’ purchase. Enter Sir Andrew, Sir Toby, and Fabian. Sir Andrew Now, sir, have I met you again? there’s for you. Sebastian

Why, there’s for thee, and there, and there.
Are all the people mad?

Sir Toby Hold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the house. Clown This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two pence. Exit. Sir Toby Come on, sir; hold. Sir Andrew Nay, let him alone: I’ll go another way to work with him; I’ll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that. Sebastian Let go thy hand. Sir Toby Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on. Sebastian

I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now?
If thou darest tempt me further, draw thy sword.

Sir Toby What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. Enter Olivia. Olivia Hold, Toby; on thy life I charge thee, hold! Sir Toby Madam! Olivia

Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,
Where manners ne’er were preach’d! out of my sight!
Be not offended, dear Cesario.
Rudesby, be gone! Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian. I prithee, gentle friend,
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
In this uncivil and thou unjust extent
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian hath botch’d up, that thou thereby
Mayst smile at this: thou shalt not choose but go:
Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me,
He started one poor heart of mine in thee.

Sebastian

What relish is in this? how runs the stream?
Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!

Olivia Nay, come, I prithee; would thou’ldst be ruled by me! Sebastian Madam, I will. Olivia O, say so, and so be! Exeunt. Scene II

Olivia’s house.

Enter Maria and Clown. Maria Nay, I prithee, put on this gown and this beard; make him believe thou art Sir Topas the curate: do it quickly; I’ll call Sir Toby the whilst. Exit. Clown Well, I’ll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in’t; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but