Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne (books under 200 pages .txt) 📕

“And that’s that,” said Pooh. “What do we do next?”

“We are all going on an Expedition,” said Christopher Robin, as he got up and brushed himself. “Thank you, Pooh.”

“Going on an Expotition?” said Pooh eagerly. “I don’t think I’ve ever been on one of those. Where are we going to on this Expotition?”

“Expedition, silly old Bear. It’s got an x in it.”

“Oh!” said Pooh. “I know.” But he didn’t really.

“We’re going to discover the North Pole.”

“Oh!” said Pooh again. “What is the North Pole?” he asked.

“It’s just a thing you discover,” said Christopher Robin carelessly, not being quite sure himself.

“Oh! I see,” said Pooh. “Are bears any good at discovering it?”

“Of course they are. And Rabbit and Kanga and all of you. It’s an Expedition. That’s what an Expedition means. A long line of everybody. You’d better tell the others to get ready, while I see if my gun’s all right. And we must all bring Provisions.”

“Bring what?”

“Things to eat.”

“Oh!” said Pooh happily. “I thought you said Provisions. I’ll go and tell them.” And he stumped off.

The first person he met was Rabbit.

“Hallo, Rabbit,” he said, “is that you?”

“Let’s pretend it isn’t,” said Rabbit, “and see what happens.”

“I’ve got a message for you.”

“I’ll give it to him.”

“We’re all going on an Expotition with Christopher Robin!”

“What is it when we’re on it?”

“A sort of boat, I think,” said Pooh.

“Oh! that sort.”

“Yes. And we’re going to discover a Pole or something. Or was it a Mole? Anyhow we’re going to discover it.”

“We are, are we?” said Rabbit.

“Yes. And we’ve got to bring Pro⁠—things to eat with us. In case we want to eat them. Now I’m going down to Piglet’s. Tell Kanga, will you?”

He left Rabbit and hurried down to Piglet’s house. The Piglet was sitting on the ground at the door of his house blowing happily at a dandelion, and wondering whether it would be this year, next year, sometime or never. He had just discovered that it would be never, and was trying to remember what “it” was, and hoping it wasn’t anything nice, when Pooh came up.

“Oh! Piglet,” said Pooh excitedly, “we’re going on an Expotition, all of us, with things to eat. To discover something.”

“To discover what?” said Piglet anxiously.

“Oh! just something.”

“Nothing fierce?”

“Christopher Robin didn’t say anything about fierce. He just said it had an x.”

“It isn’t their necks I mind,” said Piglet earnestly. “It’s their teeth. But if Christopher Robin is coming I don’t mind anything.”

In a little while they were all ready at the top of the Forest, and the Expotition started. First came Christopher Robin and Rabbit, then Piglet and Pooh; then Kanga, with Roo in her pocket, and Owl; then Eeyore; and, at the end, in a long line, all Rabbit’s friends-and-relations.

“I didn’t ask them,” explained Rabbit carelessly. “They just came. They always do. They can march at the end, after Eeyore.”

“What I say,” said Eeyore, “is that it’s unsettling. I didn’t want to come on this Expo⁠—what Pooh said. I only came to oblige. But here I am; and if I am the end of the Expo⁠—what we’re talking about⁠—then let me be the end. But if, every time I want to sit down for a little rest, I have to brush away half a dozen of Rabbit’s smaller friends-and-relations first, then this isn’t an Expo⁠—whatever it is⁠—at all, it’s simply a Confused Noise. That’s what I say.”

“I see what Eeyore means,” said Owl. “If you ask me⁠—”

“I’m not asking anybody,” said Eeyore. “I’m just telling everybody. We can look for the North Pole, or we can play ‘Here we go gathering Nuts and May’ with the end part of an ant’s nest. It’s all the same to me.”

There was a shout from the top of the line.

“Come on!” called Christopher Robin.

“Come on!” called Pooh and Piglet.

“Come on!” called Owl.

“We’re starting,” said Rabbit. “I must go.” And he hurried off to the front of the Expotition with Christopher Robin.

“All right,” said Eeyore. “We’re going. Only Don’t Blame Me.”

So off they all went to discover the Pole. And as they walked, they chattered to each other of this and that, all except Pooh, who was making up a song.

“This is the first verse,” he said to Piglet, when he was ready with it.

“First verse of what?”

“My song.”

“What song?”

“This one.”

“Which one?”

“Well, if you listen, Piglet, you’ll hear it.”

“How do you know I’m not listening?”

Pooh couldn’t answer that one, so he began to sing.

They all went off to discover the Pole,
Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all;
It’s a Thing you Discover, as I’ve been tole
By Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all.
Eeyore, Christopher Robin and Pooh
And Rabbit’s relations all went too⁠—
And where the Pole was none of them knew.⁠ ⁠…
Sing Hey! for Owl and Rabbit and all!

“Hush!” said Christopher Robin turning round to Pooh, “we’re just coming to a Dangerous Place.”

“Hush!” said Pooh turning round quickly to Piglet.

“Hush!” said Piglet to Kanga.

“Hush!” said Kanga to Owl, while Roo said “Hush!” several times to himself very quietly.

“Hush!” said Owl to Eeyore.

“Hush!” said Eeyore in a terrible voice to all Rabbit’s friends-and-relations, and “Hush!” they said hastily to each other all down the line, until it got to the last one of all. And the last and smallest friend-and-relation was so upset to find that the whole Expotition was saying “Hush!” to him, that he buried himself head downwards in a crack in the ground, and stayed there for two days until the danger was over, and then went home in a great hurry, and lived quietly with his Aunt ever-afterwards. His name was Alexander Beetle.

They had come to a stream which twisted and tumbled between high rocky banks, and Christopher Robin saw at once how dangerous it was.

“It’s just the place,” he explained, “for an Ambush.”

“What sort of bush?” whispered Pooh to Piglet. “A gorse-bush?”

“My dear Pooh,” said Owl in his superior way, “don’t you know what an Ambush is?”

“Owl,” said Piglet, looking round at him severely, “Pooh’s whisper was a