Acid Rain by R.D Rhodes (ebook reader txt) 📕

every morning in my old “home.” My mind fragmented into jigsaw pieces of all those previous times.

I tried really hard to think of any real breakaway sheep that I had met, any people who had thought for themselves and frayed from the crowd. Or even just did the right thing for others besides themselves! But I struggled to think of anyone. Those kinds of people only existed in movies and in books. But what are you fucking thinking? No, you know you’re right! The nurses here, the mechanical movements of those office workers slouched at their desk- people just follow the crowd and get sucked into it all. No! Is that the way it’s going? Is that the way it is? The humanity in us has been replaced by machines and mechanical thinking and following instructions?

Then was another knock on the door. The third knock of the day- it only came when they wanted me out to do something or to take an order. You see! You’re nothing but a prisoner to their routine, to their every whim. Your whole life depends on them. You’re exactly the same as everyone else, you’re going to end up a robot too. The worst thing is there’s no way out. It’s the same outside with school, bosses, jobs and the whole of society. If you fight against it, they put you in jail, or in these places, or you end up sleeping in the streets, or are silenced some other way. Maybe the only way out is suicide.

The door opened, and my master stood there again. Though she looked blurry, I could see she’d thickly re-applied her mascara. Somehow the thickness of it seemed to conceal her, making her eyes look cunning and ratty.

“Aisha?”

To my surprise, her voice sounded clear. I was coming round again. But I could tell from her tone and by her searching gaze that she was trying to decipher how sedated I really was. The room had stopped spinning so much but I still struggled to keep my eyes on her and my head up.

“How are you feeling, honey?”

I didn’t reply.

“I brought you some water. Would you like some tea?”

As she came closer, I managed to make out her distinctive, pretty features- those long legs in her skinny designer jeans, that long swan's neck, her breasts pronounced under her tight white shirt with the top two buttons undone. Those shapely pink-rouged lips. Then I noticed for the first time the clear plastic cup in her hand. Not so long ago she had pinned me down and stuck me with a needle against my will, and now she was being nice.

“What do you.. want?” my voice sounded gravelly and hoarse and I didn’t recognize it at first as my own.

“Can I come in?”

The question threw me aback. I was sure she was already in the room, standing right next to me.

“It doesn’t matter if I want you to… or not,.. you’ll do it anyway, ..so what are you fucking asking for?”

I closed my eyes and when I opened them again she was standing back in the doorway. It gave me a fright. What just happened? I wondered, and my confusion was compounded by the fact that Sanders had a baffled look on her face too.

The slight lines on her forehead creased as she frowned, then the look wavered and she came towards me, looking at the floor as if trying to plot her next move. She stopped next to the bed and held out the cup.

And she stood there, looking down at me through those illuminated chestnut eyes. Standing within an arms-length away, as if she was goading me.

Just then I felt a rush of strength, I don’t know how or where from, but I could actually feel it rising up in me and bringing me back to life. I reached out my hand to collect the cup. Bent back my elbow. And launched the water straight into her face.

“Ah!” she screeched, springing back, but her reaction was too late. It impacted flush with her nose, flying outward and soaking her eyes, her hair, her shirt. “You bitch!” A hand flung out from her side, but halted in its tracks inches from my face, and hovered back. Her eyes were wide with fury, the muscles within both cheeks twitching like there was an insect living underneath her skin. The droplets ran down her forehead and glistened on her mascara.

“Do that to me again, and I’ll kill you.” I said.

The tension spread from her cheeks to her lips. She first bit the trembling lower one down, then clamped them both tight.

“Are you threatening me?” she said.

The silence stretched out between us. She kept floating in and out of my vision, but I focused and held her stare with the utmost concentration. The white walls melted into a milky, translucent background with her at the core. The centre of my world. I knew my vulnerability and I couldn’t give in. …

…Finally- what seemed like aeons later- she exhaled through her nostrils. The color in her cheeks returned and her eyes switched back to a calmer, more disciplined glare.

She thrust a long white finger into my face.

“You don’t want to mess with me lady, trust me. Group therapy is in half an hour. GET READY.”

She picked up the empty cup from the floor, swabbed her face with the back of her arm, and stormed out of the room.

Chapter 12

“Right everyone!” Kev’s voice boomed down the corridor, “You all know the drill. No fuckin’ about! No runnin! And no one dare go for the stairs!”

He let his words linger in the ensuing silence. Not one of us moved in the line.

“Okay then. Let’s go.”

H e marched the eight of us out through the entrance doors, past another male nurse protecting the staircase down. He led us along the next corridor and down the