Destined to Change by Harley, M. (top android ebook reader TXT) 📕

I grabbed her hand and led her out to the dance floor.  Damn, she felt so good in my arms.  Being this close to her was making me feel weird things.  I couldn’t understand what the hell was drawing me to this sweet, innocent woman.  I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. When she looked up at me – that was it.  I was lost to her.

We danced through several songs and then, God, I had to kiss her, taste her.  I bent my head down and lightly brushed my lips down her neck right below her ear.  I could feel her shudder under my touch.  I had to take this slow.  I didn’t want to scare her.  I leaned in and very gently pressed my lips against hers.  She tasted so sweet.  I could have kissed her like this all night, but I was greedy, I wanted more.  When I tried to slide my tongue into her mouth, she jumped back, screaming, “What the hell?”

Before I knew what was happening she was running toward the bathroom, slamming the door, and then locking it.

I knocked on the door. “I’m so sorry, Loralei. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Damn it, I screwed this up.  I went too fast and scared the shit out of her.  “Oh, shit I did, I needed to kiss you. I still do. But if you don’t want to, I won’t push you, I promise. Please just open the door and let me in.”

I could hear her lean against the door, “I can’t believe you did that. I didn’t ask you to kiss me. I didn’t want you to kiss me. Why would you do that?”

God damn it!  Why did I do that?  I fuck up everything.  I was having such an amazing time, and then I had to screw it up and push her into something she didn’t want or need.  I had to get the hell out of there, and get away from her.  I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting her more.  I threw some money down on the table to cover our tab, and noticed we left her purse unattended, so I grabbed it and headed to the truck.

I climbed in the truck and slammed the door behind.  I laid my head in my hands.  What the fuck was wrong with me?  I was so damn close to bawling like a baby.  Something about this woman was getting to me.  I couldn’t do this right now.  My life was fucked up and I couldn’t bring this sweet, innocent woman into my hell.  I had to stay the hell away from her.  That was the only way it could be.

She climbed in the truck.  It took me a few minutes before I could even look up at her.  “Loralei, I’m so sorry I did that. Something is wrong with me, I fuck up everything.  I was having such a great time with you, and I just couldn’t help myself. I wanted to kiss you so bad. I’ve been dreaming about what you would taste like since the first time I saw you on the farm. But you’re scared. I get that. I won’t let it happen again. You can trust me.”

She couldn’t look up at me either, she stared at the floorboard. “It’s okay, let’s just forget this ever happened, alright?”

Yes, that was for the best.  We just needed to forget that any of this had ever happened.  I nodded and we drove home in silence.  I didn’t even want to listen to the radio.

Loralei

When we got home, he dropped me off at my house before he took the supplies out to the barn office to be put away. I decided I really needed to talk to Emma about what happened at the bar. I could never understand how every time I really needed to talk to her, she didn’t answer her stupid phone. I screamed into her voicemail, “Ems, why the hell don’t you ever answer your phone when I need you?”

God, I needed to talk to someone about this. The only other person I could think of was, well, my mom, and since she’s the one who started all of this, I didn’t know if that was the best idea.

“Mom, I really need to talk, can you come over?”

Immediately she assumed something was horribly wrong. “Oh no, what’s wrong, honey?”

Well, mom the world is coming to an end. This hot as hell guy that you forced me to spend the afternoon with had the nerve to kiss me while I was practically molesting him with my eyes...this was what I wanted to say. Instead I said, “Mom, everything is fine. I just need to talk to you about something, please come over.”

Within a few minutes, mom was standing in my kitchen, begging me to tell her what had happened. I couldn’t help what happened next. As much as I didn’t want to cry in front of her, the tears wouldn’t stop once they started. She pulled me into her arms and told me everything would be okay, but I didn’t think I really believed her.

I explained to her what had happened. She didn’t laugh at me, she didn’t give me the PPL, she didn’t look like she felt sorry for me, she just looked at me with love.

“Honey, you have to move on from Declan. It has been ten years since the accident, and you’re not happy. I can’t stand to see you like this. Please just give Jaxon a chance. He might not be the right guy for forever, but maybe he is the right guy for right now.”

That last sentence struck a chord - I liked Jaxon, and I wanted to get to know him better.  I wanted him in my life, right now. It didn’t have to be forever. I believed in my heart that since Declan had died I only remained on the earth to raise the twins.  That’s why